Diary of a Former Fat Girl

Moving!

2011-06-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm moving my blog over to a new site so I hope that those of you who have followed me here will follow me over there! I promise to have posts up soon :)

http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/diaryofaffg

What does it take?!

2011-05-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

How did my 3 day weekend disappear so fast? I'm not really sure how that happened. These recent weeks have all felt like one blur after the other. This week was my favorite... weigh-in week so let's get to the results before anything else. Last month's number are in parenthesis.

Weight: 152 (152)
Waist: 30 (30)
Hips: 38 3/4 (38 3/4)
R Thigh: 20 3/4 (21)
R bicep: 10 1/2 (10 1/4)
Shoulders: 38 3/4 (39)
Body Fat: 26.2% (26.4%)

Obviously there hasn't been much of a change so I was pretty upset on Tuesday. I am convinced that once I hit that 152 bench mark my body says, "STOP! Sorry, you're not allowed to weigh any less!" It's just unfair. Joe tried to be positive and remind me that I lost a pound of fat & about an inch, but somehow that still didn't make me feel better. What kills me is I'm so particular about my food! I prepare most of my own stuff & I limit my carbs, I don't eat fatty foods & my weight still refuses to move down! Maybe the fact that I eat pretty much the same food week in and week out has something to do with it? Maybe my lack of sleep during the week is effecting my body? Maybe I could do more cardio? I really don't know, and unfortunately Joe didn't have many more answers for me. So he proceeded to kill me with a primarily upper body/core work out... 4 days later my arms were still sore!

I felt so defeated Tuesday night I just wanted to cry. When you struggle with something and then work really hard and nothing changes it's hard. I understand that I have less weight to lose now so I'm not going to drop a lot each month, but I am not content at 152.

I realize this is an issue I've gotta work out with myself. How thin is thin enough? I look at myself & think 8 more pounds & I'd feel more comfortable, but I just don't know how realistic that is given how much trouble I'm having right now. I can recall feeling this way when my weight woes began to pile on when I was about 15. I noticed I'd put on a few pounds & tried to get my eating under control so I would get on track, but somehow that never happened. My friend Ryan & I were talking just the other day about the lunches we used to eat in high school. I won't disclose his former lunches (HAHA) because this is about my past faults & current path but I can remember eating pepperoni & cheese sandwiches & on some days getting a side of fries or a cookie or some ice cream. Then there were days that I ate a turkey sandwich & I'd have some frozen yogurt & I thought I'd had a good day. Just goes to show that when you're uneducated about what food you're putting into your body what you think is "healthy" is just not. I wouldn't touch half of the stuff I used to eat with a 10 foot pole! I won't even go into what my work outs were like back then because compared to what I do now, I don't think you could even really call them work outs. I guess that's the thing about hindsight. Looking back it all seems so much clearer & you just have to hope not to repeat the mistakes.

The 3 day weekend was fantastic! It was so nice not having to go to work today & having a 4 day work week is pretty awesome too. Naturally I ate & drank a little more than normal, but I did hit the gym Saturday morning before the holiday weekend eating began so I wasn't a total waste. Tomorrow I will get back into my routine, which is always a good thing. I've gotta figure out how I'm going to attack this problem & hit it head on. My first thought is shake up the food. The body always responds better to shock than habit.

Before I go I figured I'd show a few comparison pictures to show where I'm at. I'm not gonna give up because I just don't have it in me to quit, so now it just means I've gotta work a little harder & I can do that. The other alternative is to go back to what I used to be & for me that's not even an option. Happy Memorial Day & thank you to all of our troops & veterans for their service!

March 2011...

May 2011...rocking leggings & a shirt I wouldn't have been able to wear 20 pounds ago.

This past week...trying to focus on the positive & keep at it.

Until next time...

Marisa

Keep Moving Forward...

2011-05-15T19:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like it's been forever since I've posted! The last 3 weeks have been hectic to say the least. My cousins were home from medical school, which is always a lot of fun, but it usually means lots of nights out and activities planned. Some of the fun things we did were go to a Yankee game followed by a trip to the best wings place on the Upper East Side (ate the HOTTEST wings of my entire life!!), went out for Cinco de Mayo, saw Thor, & had some awesome dinners. John headed back to the island last week & Chris headed to Texas for a 7 week course this morning. It's always sad when they go & I just hope the time goes by fast.

I also finished school for the semester last week & I can't even express how happy I am! My 2 take home finals zapped so much energy out of me that I'm still trying to recoop from them. It's just good knowing that I have 3 months of not having to drive to school & do homework. GLORIOUS.

My body feels like it has been put through the ringer. I haven't taken a week off from the gym since the last time Joe gave me permission to do so which was early February. I think soon it may be time for another one of those weeks. I'm afraid I'm hitting one of those God awful plateaus and my body needs some sort of a shock.

Of course Joe's idea of shocking the body is making me do 4 sets of an exercise with at least 20 reps instead of 15. I know that he knows what he's doing, but I was having a hard enough time with 15 reps and now I've gotta do 20 on most exercises. And then last week, after I could barely keep my eyes open due to several late nights of working on my finals, Joe decides to make me do the dreaded plyos work out. I literally wanted to cry. I'm sorry, I don't care what any of the fitness people out there say, I have NO reason to be doing that type of work out. I am not training for any sport or endurance type of event. I don't care how many jumping squats I can do in 1 minute. There is challenging & then there is unnecessary & to me, that is completely unnecessary. Joe's response, "Well, you don't have to do crazy cardio after." UGH. Let us hope that work out doesn't come about any time soon.

I'm pretty bored with my food, but luckily the warmer temperatures mean more grilling! Oatmeal & I are on a break right now & I'm trying to eat a half of a grapefruit or yogurt on the days that I don't eat eggs for breakfast. Lunch most days I try to avoid carbs when I can, but I do allow myself at least one sandwich to break it up a bit. Dinners are usually protein and veggies & every night before bed I have some green tea & usually some Greek yogurt. I'm not sure what it is about night time, but I LOVE late night eating. I don't need to eat pizza or anything greasy at night, but I love to eat cereal or popcorn or some ice cream or a few cookies... obviously I avoid those things, but the late night eating urge is very hard to ignore.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my younger self. I've been thinking about how being over weight made me feel like I needed to constantly cover myself up. I was content to just blend into the background because that's where I thought I belonged. I never felt like the "pretty girl" I was just the tom boy who blended in as one of the guys. I guess It's funny how things like that really stick with you. Even though I'm not the same body type I was back then or the same person I was, I feel like that stigma doesn't just vanish. The thing that I've realized over the last couple of weeks is that I've gotta find a way to make my peace with it. I am who I am now & of course my past has shaped me but it doesn't have to necessarily define me.

I can't believe tomorrow is already Monday! The weekends just go by too fast! I've got a full week ahead, but the fact that I have no homework to do & I can relax, read the books I want to read, work on my own book & catch up on stuff I've had to put off makes me very happy. I've got one more week to go before weigh in so I'm hoping for some better results this time around. Maybe all those damn salads will actually pay off! Had to throw these pictures in before I signed off...

Me at age 4... unfortunately that baby fat lingered for a lot longer than it should have...

A few weeks ago at the Yankee game... embracing the "new" me :)

Until next time...

Marisa

Am I Standing Still?

2011-04-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday to everyone! I feel like this week flew by, which in many respects is a very good thing. It was the LAST week of classes for the semester & I couldn't be happier. Sure, I still have 2 take home finals to complete & a paper to finish before I'm officially done for the semester, but at least I don't have to sit through class anymore. I am most definitely looking forward to a 3 month hiatus from school. Not to mention, I'm looking forward to saving my gas tank a little from all the back and forth.

I actually took off from work today so that I could get my paper done that's due on Monday. What a joy it was to not wake up at 6:15. No, I wasn't one of the many people that woke up at 4am to watch the Royal Wedding... I did what most people of this generation do... I Tivoed the event. I woke up at 8:30 and got to see the happy couple on the balcony at the palace & saw their two (gasp) kisses. Kate looked absolutely beautiful & she seemed so calm! I don't know if my wedding was on display to the entire world if I would be that calm, but kudos to her. I think what I loved the most was just how happy & in love Kate & Will looked with each other. Ahhhh...

Okay, back on topic... this past Tuesday was weigh in so without further adieu I will give the results. Last month's numbers are in parenthesis.

Weight: 152 (152)
Hips: 38 3/4 (39)
Waist: 30 (30)
R Thigh: 21 (21)
R Bicep: 10 1/2 (10 3/4)
Shoulders: 39 (39)
Body Fat: 26.4% (27.4%)

As you can see, there isn't much of a change... I did lose 2 pounds of fat based on the BMI calculations that Joe does so I'm happy with that & I lost 1/2 inch. I was also glad to see my body fat go down after it seemed to just kind of hover in the same place for the last several months. Like I've said, it seems that when I hit near this weight my body just stops working, which is obviously a concern for me. Joe told me to keep in mind that you could take two people that both weigh 150 pounds and one of them is 50% body fat & the other is 25% body fat & the 25% body fat person doesn't look like they weigh THAT much. He said by looking at me there is no way that anyone would say that I weigh 152, so I guess that is a good thing.

But in all honesty, I don't wanna be stuck here. I would feel more comfortable at 145. I don't know how realistic that is considering the muscle that I've put on, but it's worth entertaining. Speaking of muscle, I couldn't help but think during our work out on Tuesday that Joe is trying to lean me out with muscle. Normally we do 3 sets of most exercises of 15 reps & then reduce to 12 or 10 reps depending on how I'm feeling, but on Tuesday we did 2 sets and at least 20 reps on all of them. I never wished for 15 reps more in my life! Maybe that's going to be part of our new regime? If it keeps me from settling at this plateau, I'll suck it up.

I am getting increasingly bored with my food. I eat pretty much the same thing all the time... not every day but within a week there are many of the same things. I think I am in need of some new recipes to shake things up. Luckily, BBQ season is upon us and I can start using my grill again, which I love. Still, one of my biggest struggles is being a late night eater. I'm not sure what it is, but I LOVE to eat late night. Around 10, I feel that little bit of hunger creeping up in my stomach & I usually end up peering into the fridge hoping to find something. I end up fighting with myself for several minutes because what I really want is a bowl of ice cream or a bowl of cereal or some cookies, but I realize those aren't the right choices so I usually settle for some Greek yogurt or peanut butter on a graham cracker with my cup of green tea. So boring. I'm thinking that my body is in need of some kind of shock in an effort to kick start my metabolism a little bit more. I'll have to see what I can come up with.

Unfortunately, much of the next few days are going to require me to spend time with this paper, but at least by Monday afternoon I'll never have to look at it again. Tomorrow is supposed to be another beautiful spring day, which is perfect because I'll be heading to Yankee Stadium for the first time of 2011 with my cousins :) Most definitely looking forward to that! Before I go, here's comparison picture that made me feel better about my progress...

June 2010...yes, I'm sitting down, but that roll still existed.

April 2011...holding out my size 10 skinny jeans which are now too big on me. I like the number 8 better anyway!

Until next time...

Marisa

Fat Bottom Girls

2011-04-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

First off, let me apologize for the delay in posts. Things have been busier than normal the past two weeks. My grandma fractured her hip & ended up having it replaced so after all the hospital drama, getting her into a rehab center, & then getting her out, it’s been lots of long days. Thankfully, she is recovering nicely & will be back to her jovial self in no time!

This Tuesday was supposed to be weigh-in week, but Joe had to cancel and we couldn’t get together another day this week, so I’m stuck waiting until this coming Tuesday. Normally that’s not a big deal, but I would’ve preferred to get weighed BEFORE Easter.

I don’t feel much different from last month, and it’s not because I’m eating whatever I want or anything like that, but I fear that I am inching toward one of the things I HATE the most… a plateau. It’s as if when my body nears a certain weight, it just says, “Sorry, you’re not going any lower than that!” How incredibly unfair is that?

My other concern is that I’ve been hungry more often than I was a month or so ago. I’ll eat breakfast, maybe have a banana or something like that before lunch & I’m fine. Then I eat lunch & it seems that for the rest of the day I just feel hungry & it’s really getting on my nerves. I eat protein at lunch so it’s not like I’m eating a bunch of carbs, which burn up quickly & then I’m hungry. I was talking with my friend Ryan about it & we concluded that my work outs, which have me putting on more muscle, are probably to blame for my added hunger. Yes, I realize that’s perfectly normal, but as a former fat girl the added hunger & possible weight gain don’t sit well with me.

Before you go & think that I’m a psycho for thinking this way, you have to understand that when you’ve battled your weight your entire life, being hungry more often & the number on the scale going up are two things you NEVER want. I know that any added weight would likely be due to the muscle, but I have a very hard time with the number going up. I’m well aware that this is my issue that I’ve gotta find a way to work through it, but I’m sure a lot of people can relate. That's why the title of this week's blog is the great Queen song that Glee is re-popularizing (Fat Bottom Girls). The song sort of glorifies "bigger girls" if you will, but really what girl wants to be known as a fat bottom girl? Not this chick...

I’m sure a lot of people can also relate to having a family (especially my fellow Italians) that is obsessed with food… cooking it, eating it & talking about it most of the time. We’re always talking about things we want to make, the place where we ate something really good, or we were watching a show & they were making blah blah & it looked so good. How is anyone, especially someone with a naturally slow metabolism supposed to stay thin in that kind of atmosphere? I mean, I could start another whole blog on food alone! Food is great… I love my heritage, I love my family’s traditions, & I love cooking, but I’d be flat out lying if I said that sometimes loving food like this can be problematic.

On a positive note, all of my clothes are too big so I guess that's a sign that I'm doing something right. However, that leaves me loathing everything in my closet & taking forever to get ready because I can't find anything that I'm not swimming in. The other thing about losing weight & your clothes not fitting is that those clothes represent the "old you"... the stuff you had to wear to cover up what you didn't want everyone to focus on. Sure, there's a whole new world of clothes out there for the "new you", but it takes a while to build up a closet so for now I'm just hating my clothes.

I've made it to the gym twice this week & am definitely going to try to get there tomorrow morning. I'm cooking Easter dinner so tomorrow is prep day. The BEST part of this week has been the return of Chris & John from the island! I LOVE having them home! I'm definitely looking forward to them being around for the next couple of weeks! I will be sure to report back with the results of weigh in! I hope that everyone has a great Easter!

Marisa

Time...

2011-04-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite Hootie & the Blowfish songs (Time) reminded me just how fast the time goes by. Also how I never seem to have enough time to do anything...not enough time to read my books, get to the gym, SLEEP, work on my book, make new recipes & did I mention sleep? Somehow it's already April! I have about 3 weeks left in my semester & I can't wait to be done! Chris & John return from the islands in less than 2 weeks which I'm very excited for!

The past 2 weeks of working out have been a bit of a struggle. Joe hasn't put me through any crazy work outs since the plyos work out from hell, but the lifting work outs have just been painful. It's rare that I wake up and something or several things don't hurt or ache. At this current moment, I have an ice pack on my bad shoulder but the rest of me is pretty sore too. I feel like I should be covered in lidoderm patches from head to toe. Or I'm just in serious need of that massage package I got for my birthday...

So this week's work out was another modified man work out, which I like just fine for the most part. I did full dead lifts with a 40 pound barbell, bench press, squat & single arm row, wood chop, tricep presses on a bar, & then this ab exercise where I had to lay down & keep my feet straight out in front of me raised off of the floor while holding a 20 pound barbell and bring my legs to the right, down, to the left and down. AWFUL. All I kept thinking was please don't let my sweaty hands drop this bar on my face. Luckily Joe was right above me so he had it covered.

Part of me has to laugh because Joe doesn't know my spazzy side. Sometimes when he asks me to do a certain exercise that's somewhat complicated I have to really force myself to think about what I'm doing so I don't look like a bumbling fool. Tuesday my spazziness came out a little bit even though I tried to cover it up, I had to just say, "I'm a bit of a spazz". He got a kick out of that & told me the better my core gets, the less of a spazz I'll be. I don't know if that's completely true, but it's definitely a nice thought.

Food... I'm starting to get very bored. I try to shake things up and spread it out so I don't have too many carbs on one day. Still, it's mostly the same stuff all the time... chicken and salad, oatmeal, eggs, yogurt. I think I need a few new recipes and that might help. 2 more no meat Fridays to go and I think I will make it without putting myself in a total carb coma. I've had a massive craving for soft chocolate ice cream on a cone & I have to give myself kudos for suppressing the urge, but I feel that sooner or later I'm gonna have to satisfy the urge otherwise I'll go crazy.

Tomorrow it's back to the gym before game 2 of the Yankees/Red Sox weekend series. I dragged myself to do some cardio today even though I'm sore and exhausted. Luckily, the Yanks/Sox had an afternoon game so I caught the end of it which kept me entertained on the treadmill. Unfortunately, the Yankees pitching couldn't hold it down today nor could the offense back them up so I was feeling more anxiety while walking at my 10 degree incline than normal. Going to try to pick it up a notch despite my aches & pains because in 2 short months summer will be here & I've gotta be prepared!

Until next time...

Marisa

Getting to the Dance...

2011-03-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

It is officially one of my favorite times of year... March Madness! This year's tournament has been full of big upsets & nail bitting games. VCU is the 2011 Cinderella team & they just advanced to the Elite 8 for the first time in their school's history which is pretty exciting. BYU was also fun to watch especially Jimmer Fredette & it was kind sad when they got eliminated Thursday night. Luckily, 2 of my Final 4 teams are still going strong... UNC & Kansas. UNC is my team so I'm always happy to see them do well. Today it gets down to the Final 4 so I'm crossing my fingers!

This week was weigh in week so naturally I was a nervous wreck all day Tuesday. I don't know why I get so crazed about weigh in, but that number on the scale messes with my head so bad, but our culture is obsessed with numbers & females are just conditioned to think in the case of weight less is always better hence my panic. Here are the results with last month's in parenthesis...

Weight: 152 (153)
Hips: 39 (40)
Waist: 30 (31.5)
R Thigh: 21 (21)
R arm: 10 3/4 (10 3/4)
Shoulders: 39 (39)
Body Fat: 27.4% (27.6%)

That's 2.5 inches & another pound this month for a grand total of 9.5 inches & almost 16 pounds since October! I was definitely feeling pretty good after that, but I can't lie, I would have liked a little more loss on the weight. Joe reminded me that now is when it's going to start to get hard because I don't have that much more to lose, but for my own personal comfort, I would prefer to be no more than 148. Maybe that's a bit of a reach, but I'm gonna give it a go. Just to show how much has changed since the end of the summer check this out...

End of summer 2010

March 2011 w/Stella

I guess I don't really notice the difference because I'm looking at myself, but just looking at these 2 pictures was a huge lift for me. People have started referring to me as "skinny" which I have to say almost makes me feel uncomfortable. That adjective isn't one I'd ever use to describe me. Someone else said that I've gotten "tiny" & I was like, "No way." There is nothing "tiny" about me. I'm a 5'7" girl that wears a size 10 shoe so tiny just isn't me. I think it can be hard to feel comfortable in your own body, but I'm trying to get there...

So Joe thought it would be a good idea to focus on core this week & I should've known that was going to be a problem. However, what I ended up getting was a plyometrics work out! AWFUL! I had to jump onto a platform and squat down & do that for a minute, girl push ups with my hand on a sand bag ball & as I go down had to push the ball to the other hand for a minute, one handed swings with a medicine ball for 30 seconds each, jumps side to side & touching my foot to the sandbag ball for a minute & last but not least the inch worm (Not to be confused with the dance move). You start standing straight up & then walk your hands all the way out so that you're in a push up position & then walk your feet to your hands & repeat. HORRIBLE.

I've had some rough lifting work outs a.k.a. "the man work out", but this work out actually made me want to cry because I was so upset that he would make me do that. I am not training for a sport so as far as I'm concerned my speed & agility are not high on my list. Sure that kind of work out burns a lot of calories but I was really annoyed that I had to do that. My goal is to sculpt my body & be fit, not be able to jump side to side really fast to impress the soccer scouts. Hopefully next week, he will get back to lifting.

Food has been good lately. I'm trying to inject some more protein into my diet, which is kinda challenging with Lent. I would like to say that I have cooked fish 2 out of the 3 Fridays... that's right I cooked it. I hate it, but I cooked it. We had swordfish this week, which I have to say is the fish I tolerate the best. Lunch on Fridays is tough because I don't want to just eat carbs, so this week I settled on a salad and some Greek yogurt. I know there are only 3 more Fridays to go, but it's not easy when you aren't a fish fan.

Well, I've got a busy couple of weeks ahead. I've gotta try to make it through school in one piece & then I will have 3 glorious months of not having to report to Seton Hall woo hoo!! And next week baseball season officially gets under way, which is the best part of spring! Did my fantasy baseball draft last night & I need a serious bounce back year so cross your fingers I get off to a good start!

Until next time...

Marisa

Take You Back...

2011-03-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Hump Day to all! This week is spring break for many college/graduate students. How am I spending my spring break you ask? Oh why I am staying in New Jersey waiting on the massive rain storms that are supposed to hit & flood the area over the next 3 days & working. I LOVE not having to drive to school, but since I can't be on a tropical island drinking really high calorie fruity drinks while getting a tan I'm just going to pretend that I'm on a beach somewhere really amazing.

I spent most of the weekend cleaning out my computer room so that the rug could get ripped out & while doing that I stumbled upon lots of stuff that has been collecting dust on shelves and in drawers. Some of what I found was old pictures & all I could think of was, "Why did I think it was okay to go around looking like that?" In the last edition I mentioned about being a chubby kid... well here it is...

Yeah that's 4 year old Marisa...

Sometimes it's really hard to look back on how I used to be because I'd like to just kick myself for letting things get so out of control. I can't help but think maybe it wouldn't be such a challenge right now if I had started taking better care of myself younger? Grammar school & middle school were pretty bad, but those pictures are deep in the archives so this is the next best thing. Ready for another one...

And it just kept going... me at 21

But I think all we can do as people is try to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. Maybe the constant battle is a reminder of why I don't want to repeat any of those mistakes? I have to have some kind of reason to justify all of this pain, right? Ha!

Okay so onto the work out routine... I think Joe gets such a kick out of the "man work out" that he enjoys making modified "man work outs" now. My first exercise was climbing up onto this squat machine with shoulder rests and weights on the sides and I was up on a platform. I should've known that was a bad sign... that lead to hammer curls/shoulder presses, chest press laying down on a bench w/my feet elevated, the DREADED unassisted bench dips, assisted reverse grip pull-ups, lunges with a 10 pound weight that I had to rotate every time I took a step, finished with supermans/bananas. If you don't know about supermans/bananas they are incredibly challenging core exercises that I'm sure some man came up with just to torture women with. When it was time to start another set, Joe kept referring to it as "going back into the gauntlet" & I couldn't help but laugh because the gauntlet is EXACTLY what it felt like! I was totally spent when I left there, but at the same time I felt really accomplished. Sure, I feel beat up all the time, but I'm proud that I can make it through these difficult work outs.

I'm in such a different place now than I was even five years ago... I want to challenge myself & I'll deal with pain because I know it's necessary. So I'll sit with an ice pack on my shoulder like a pitcher that just threw 8 awesome innings & keep going. I'm also really focused with my food right now & that helps a lot. However, now that Lent has set in, I'm up for even more of a challenge because fish & I aren't friends & I obviously can't eat pizza/pasta THAT much. I think I'm going to have to (gasp) cook the occasional swordfish over the next 6 weeks or so. I can tolerate that, but man do I hate cooking fish! I'm gonna try not to think about it for the time being...

Well, my bed is screaming my name right now so I'm gonna try to fall asleep before midnight. These weeks just keep flying by & they're all starting to blur together. One more picture before I go...

26...healthier & wiser :)

Until next time...

Marisa

How Winning Is Done...

2011-03-02T21:03:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe I'm actually 26! It was an a good weekend of celebrating & I just want to thank everyone that came out to celebrate & to those who couldn't be there you were missed! Also, all the Facebook messages, texts & calls also really made my day which may sound lame, but it really did.

Ok so birthday celebrations aside, everything has been really busy, but before anything else, I must report on the weigh in and measurements from last week as I promised... The previous month's results are in parenthesis.

Weight: 152.5 (154)
Hips: 40 (40 3/4)
R Thigh: 21 1/2 (21)
R arm: 10 3/4 (11)
Waist: 31.5 (31.5)
Body Fat: 27.6% (27.6%)

That's 2 more inches down & almost 2 more pounds for a grand total of about 7 inches & 14 pounds since October! Joe was happy with my results & I have to say it's nice to see that all the hard work is paying off. I would've liked a little change in the waist & body fat, but Joe told me not to get hung up on that. Good results are good results. Still, that doesn't mean the work outs slow down. My biggest challenge that night was doing a girl push up & with one hand on the ground & one hand on a ball filled with sand and as I pushed up i had to shoot the ball over to my other hand before going down again. UGH. While the weight lifting and core exercises cause the most pain, for me, cardio is the biggest torture.

It really is a struggle to get myself to stay on the treadmill for at least 15 minutes especially on the days that I don't lift, because I just find it unfulfilling. Although, the other day I had the pleasure of watching Jake Gyllenhaal in "The Prince of Persia" while I walked at an incline so that was a very nice distraction that made the time go fast, but on the whole it's awful.

Last night, we did a modified "man work out" which was just about as challenging as the man work out... bench press on an incline, single leg presses, arm flections kneeling on one leg on a cable machine, dead lifts with a curl, tricep extension with a barbell over my head while laying on a bench with my feet raised & the final one... squatting all the way down to the ground so my butt was on a bosu ball while holding a medicine ball, extending over the back, coming up all the way and throwing the ball back to Joe. I really wanted to know if he had something against me. Almost every muscle hurts today... but no pain no gain, right?

During my cardio last night, I noticed a girl about 4 treadmills down from me... she must've been about 10 and I saw her walk in with a woman I'm presuming was her mom. The girl reminded me of a younger version of myself. She was a little chunky and I'm guessing she was trying to get a head start on a weight problem no doubt other people had pointed out to her. I can remember being that age, being told I was chunky and wanting so much to not be. I tried different things... I would go for walks around my neighborhood, or ride my bike, & then for one Christmas I asked for the Fast Track (it was a machine that you powered yourself by sliding your legs back and forth on somewhat of a slope... but like many kids, after awhile I got bored or distracted and my weight loss path got lost. The real problem was my head wasn't in the right place. How could it be? I was a kid & I didn't think about how much harder it would be to lose weight as I got older. I guess a part of me felt like it would just go away on it's own. Part of me would love to go back in time & tell that little girl not to worry and that it would all work out when I was ready. Since it's impossible to go back, all I can do is keep moving forward.

Well, it's about time I call it a night... the Yankees have started playing spring training games & that means that spring really is creeping up so there's no time to slow down! Back to the gym Friday & Saturday. Hopefully next post I'll have some updated pictures to share. Until next time...

Marisa

Something For the Pain...

2011-02-17T21:05:00.000-08:00

I am happy to say that it is officially one of my favorite times of year... the start of spring training! By next week all players will have reported to camp and baseball will be underway! It has always been one of my biggest dreams to go down to Tampa & go to the Yankees' spring training facility and see all of my favorites (especially #2) up close & personal, but unfortunately I haven't made it there yet. I am determined to go in the next 4 years (before Derek Jeter's contract is up!)

Currently, I am sitting on my bed watching "Grey's Anatomy" with an ice pack on my left shoulder & a lidoderm patch on my lower back & that is because Joe decided to put me through a man work out on Tuesday. Now, I'd like to consider myself a fairly tough chick when it comes to my work outs. I enjoy lifting more than just standing on a cardio machine, but this pain is just unnecessary. The work out started with full dead lifts with a 40 pound barbell & since my form was so great Joe decided to bump it up to 70 pounds (3 sets), then I got to do a bench press with the 35 pound barbell & thankfully he didn't throw any extra weight on that (3 sets), squats with the same bar behind my neck so it was resting on my shoulders (3 sets), half dead lifts with a bicep curl (3 sets), lateral extensions (3 sets) & to finish it all off... UNASSISTED DIPS (3 sets). I can't wrap my head around WHY a girl would ever need to do unassisted dips? Assisted dips sure, but having to hold my whole body weight up on the edge of a bench and drop down and come back up after everything else is just awful. And 3 sets of everything! I literally feel like I've been hit by a truck. I don't know if ALL of those exercises were necessary in the same work out. Muscle soreness is fine, but I'm going on day 3 tomorrow & I doubt I won't still be sore.

I try to remind myself that it'll all be worth it, but when my body is screaming I can't necessarily think about the big picture. Tuesday is weigh in and measurement day so naturally I'm nervous for that. I've been trying to get more protein in my diet so I've been alternating oatmeal and eggs in the morning and salad and half a sandwich at lunch. I'm just so bored with my food! I think this weekend I'm gonna check out some recipes and see what I can find. I need a little something different or I'm going to go crazy. Until Tuesday I'll be drinking as much green tea as possible & loading up on asparagus to help flush all the toxins out of my body. Tomorrow is cardio day & Saturday I'll get in another round of lifting. I like how I've been looking even though I'm not completely happy yet and that's why I'll keep on pushing myself. When you're a former fat girl, there's just no other way.

I will definitely report back with the weigh in & measurements after Tuesday. Everyone keep their fingers crossed for me & hope for good results! Until next time...

Marisa

Summer's Just Around the Bend...

2011-02-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

Another long week is almost in the books! I hope everyone is surviving the cold, snow & ice that winter has been giving us an abundance of. This weather just makes me want to stay under the covers, watch movies and eat... but obviously that can't happen. All I can do is throw on a bunch of layers of clothes and head out to the gym and get my body ready for summer!

Unfortunately, the change in my school schedule makes getting to the gym a little bit harder, but I'm still doing it. Sure I feel like falling on my face, but no pain no gain, right? Tuesday is my day to train with Joe & then I'm left with Friday and Saturday to go on my own. The other day while I was on the treadmill there was this girl with a PERFECT body running of course and all I could think was that some people are just blessed to be born with amazing bodies. I am not one of those people, but they do exist! Those are the people that LOVE doing cardio and eating really healthy food and I would like to just force feed them cheeseburgers!

The food can be even harder than the working out in my opinion. We tend to fall into patterns with food and eat basically the same thing ALL the time. Almost every morning I eat oatmeal... not because I enjoy it, but because I know it's good for me. Occasionally I'll switch it up with eggs or some Special K but for the most part, oatmeal is my breakfast date. Lunch is usually some form of chicken either over salad or with veggies...although occasionally I'll have a half of a sandwich or something left over from dinner the night before... dinner can vary but I end up cooking a lot of chicken. Chicken, chicken, chicken! Sometimes I just want to throw the chicken across the room, but I know I've got goals so I've gotta eat the it.

I'm still feeling the pain from Tuesday's work out, but more than just regular muscle aches, the pain in my shoulder has not been fun times. Joe decided it would be a good idea to do an upper body work out. Ugh. If my left shoulder didn't get tired so quickly it wouldn't be so bad, but since it does it makes 15 reps feel like 40. Reverse pull ups should be outlawed. Chicks don't exactly have a ton of upper body strength as it is and when you have to hold up your entire body weight and pull your chest up to a bar you are reminded why girls suck at doing those kinds of things. Today I did some cardio and tomorrow I'll do full body work out.

I started thinking about how tight my muscles are and how yoga would probably benefit me A LOT. 2 years ago I started doing yoga (purchased one of those cheesy DVDs) and it helped me get out some of those unwanted knots and actually relax a little bit, but I haven't done it in such a long time because trying to do yoga at home never works out well because I always get interrupted. I wish they had it at my gym, but maybe one of these days I'll get back into it. If you're thinking it's just a bunch of deep breaths and weird positions with weird names while that's kind of true, it's actually really good for the body.

Well, it's time for me to call it a night. I hope everyone has a great weekend & a Happy Valentine's Day. For those of us in the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band... here's to better luck next year! But until then, I'll just imagine that I'm snuggling up with this...

Joshua Jackson... my first celebrity crush & even better looking now!

Until next time...

Marisa

Getting It Done...

2011-01-25T19:31:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since I've posted so I figured now was a good time. Work has been absolutely insane & as my responsibilities grow every day, I know it's only going to get more and more crazy. I also started school again last week so adding classes to my craziness is sure to be a fun time.

So last week was supposed to be weigh in and then we got hit with a nasty snow/ice storm so Joe had to cancel, which I was completely bummed about because I was SO ready for it. I decided that I would just weigh myself when I went to the gym and then Joe could just do my measurements the following week. Well, I sent myself into a panic because it appeared that the number stayed the same from the previous month. Naturally, I flipped out. I couldn't believe there was NO change... my clothes are big on me and I can feel the difference so how is it possible my weight didn't go down?

Yes, I realize that muscle weighs more than fat, but I couldn't help but be obsessed with the number. What is it about the number that gets us all into a tizzy? Society seems to be a fan of people who are smaller sizes etc and that gets into all of our heads. Especially if you're someone who has battled their weight... the numbers basically rule your life. It's borderline crazy, but if you've been there you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I spent the rest of the week really watching everything & I went to the gym almost every day. So today was the day of truth... Here are the results:

Weight: 154.5
Body fat: 27.6% (28)
Hips: 41 1/4 (41 1/2)
Thigh: 21 1/2 (21 3/4)
Waist: 31 1/2 (32 1/2)
Shoulders: 39 1/2 (40)
Bicep: 11 (11)

WAHOO!! In 3 months time I'm down 13 pounds, lost a total of almost 7 inches, and dropped my body fat 8%! Apparently all that chicken and veggies are paying off! Not to mention all those awful cardio sessions! Joe talked to me about my food to see if I've really changed anything in the past month, and I really haven't. He is concerned that I am not eating enough calories in a day. He is probably right... actually I know that he is right, I don't eat enough in a day.

I'm not fool enough to think that you can consume a whole bunch of extra calories and expect to just lose weight, but I do know that when you're weight training you have to feed your muscles and I'm definitely not doing that as often as I should. So I have to keep a food journal for 2-3 days and then Joe will come up with some ways to interject a couple hundred extra calories in a healthy way. I have to get past the number obsession and realize that as long as my measurements and my body fat continue to drop, then if my overall weight isn't quite as low as I would prefer, I'm still getting the job done.

I have been ordered not to work out until next Tuesday as part of the rest my body so I don't hit a plateau and so I don't feel like I've been hit by a truck on a daily basis. I do feel kind of guilty about not working out for a week, but Joe insisted it has to be done. Maybe it really will do me some good.

I'm feeling really focused, which is a good thing & I've got my goal in sight. Jessica Biel body here I come!

Until next time...

Marisa

Falling Apart?

2011-01-14T20:04:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone in the tri-state area made it through the second snow storm of the season all right. I HATE snow & will be happy when spring rolls in. Sure the snow looks pretty while it's falling, but after that it's just one big mess. Especially when there's too much snow and no where to put it. Trying to park is absolute hell because the snow covers up too much of the space so perfectly good parking spaces can't be utilized. AWFUL.

Okay, enough of my snow bitching. The start of the week was definitely sad because Chris & John headed back to the caribbean & don't come back until April. It's just not the same when all 4 of us aren't together, but I'm hoping the time will go by fast.

I would like to say that after almost 4 months of serious working out my body feels great, but it feels anything but that. I literally feel like I've been hit by a truck and everything hurts, my left shoulder in particular. It's so incredibly frustrating because I can't lift the way that I want because my shoulder gets tired so quickly and then starts to hurt. My right side feels perfectly fine, but then there's my left shoulder not holding up its end of the deal. The pain is pretty intense at times & I've tried everything from ice packs to heat packs to anti inflammatories and nothing is doing the trick. Joe said that since I haven't really taken a break since we started training back in October, it's time I take a week off.

A WHOLE WEEK?! I couldn't believe my ears, but apparently it's good to rest your body completely every 12 weeks give or take. The body gets used to doing certain things & then hits a plateau & plateaus are the WORST. You feel like you are working hard, but the numbers aren't changing. Joe explained that by allowing the body to rest and recover when it's time to start up again, it's almost like a shock and the body will respond better. I'm all for a positive response & there's no doubt that these muscles could use a break, but considering I am after all a former fat girl, it makes me a little nervous to shut down even for only a week.

Then I thought about it... one week isn't really THAT long in the grand scheme of things & considering I've been doing well with my portions and what I've been eating I should be able to keep things under control while resting my body. The plan is to do weigh in and measurements on Tuesday & then rest up until the following Tuesday. I've been trying to get a little more cardio in the past couple of weeks due to the holidays & I wish I could say at this point I was starting to tolerate it a little better than before, but alas I loathe cardio. There was a girl on a treadmill next to me the other day running at full speed like it was absolutely no big deal. Meanwhile, I'm sucking wind after a 30 second sprint. She looked like she could go all day on that treadmill & I just couldn't wait until my time was up.

Today I enjoyed a long overdue day off that wasn't a national holiday or a state of emergency! I treated myself to an upper body massage to try & get my shoulder fixed. Turns out my left scapula (basically the whole shoulder blade) is not only inflamed but full of knots that aren't easy to get rid of. LOVELY. The massage therapist advised that I have it worked on again soon. Considering how long it took me to get this day off I can only hope it doesn't take as long for another one.

Tomorrow I'll be hitting the gym again & then Tuesday is the big weigh in. I will make sure to report back with the results. I'm hoping they'll be really good & just maybe I can snag myself this guy...

The one & only Tim Tebow <3 I'll keep working hard.

Until next time...

Marisa

Push...

2011-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011 everyone! I hope that everyone enjoyed the holidays. I definitely did which is why there has been such a delay in posts. Santa was very good to me... I got my very own punching bag & a kick ass set of boxing gloves that I can't wait to use! Danny has already headed back to his base in California & in less than 5 days Chris & John go back to the caribbean so I'm trying to make the most of the time.

Despite the extra opportunities for eating non healthy food & drinking, I have to say I've been pretty solid on my program. I even went to the gym on Christmas Eve to get a last minute cardio session in before two straight days of eating. Portion control has been something that I keep in the front of my mind at all times. Since there was so much food, I decided to break things in half or eat a small amount at a time. My aunt makes this killer pepperoni bread & on NYE I had to remind myself eating half of it was enough. It's really difficult when something tastes SO good to just have a little bit isn't easy. Still, I have to remind myself the ultimate goal & stick to small portions.

My work outs have been going well even though Joe's obsession with the number 15 is starting to get to me. It's always a good sign when you're dripping sweat, right? Unfortunately, my shoulder has been bothering me for several weeks now & I've kept that from Joe because I didn't want to seem like I was being a wuss. I hate looking weak & saying I can't do something because of a nagging pain. I know structurally there is nothing wrong my with shoulder... my bones are all where they're supposed to be & nothing is torn, but despite that, it still hurts. It very well could be a very big knot or a pinched nerve or both, but either way it's hanging around a lot longer than I would've liked. I've been spending a lot of time with the heating pad & Icy/Hot patches are my new best friend.

Yesterday, I finally broke down & told Joe that my shoulder has been giving me trouble so rather than do the regularly scheduled focus on upper body work out, we did a full body work out & tried not to aggravate my shoulder too much. It seems right now just about everything aggravates it, but I'm determined to push through & keep going. Joe advised that I try to go for a massage to maybe work out whatever has tightened up within my shoulder blade. There is nothing more I would like right now than a day at a spa, but I really haven't had the time to do that. I'm thinking of taking a day off next week before the semester starts up again & a massage just might have to go on the agenda.

Tomorrow I'll hit the gym & probably again on Saturday. The weekend will be full of birthday & farewell celebrations aka lots of food & alcohol, but I'm determined to remain controlled. Weigh in is less than 2 weeks away & I won't get off my path. Jessica Biel body here I come!

Until next time!

Marisa

It's the Holiday Season...

2010-12-22T20:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays to everyone! Sorry for the delay in posts but I was finishing up school for the semester and work has been exceptionally busy. At long last I am done with school until the second week of January & if I pass my finance final I will be a very happy girl. I'd also like to give a huge welcome back to my cousins who are back from med school in the caribbean for 3 weeks! And my best friend Danny, a CECB in the US Navy was granted leave for Christmas & got home this morning! Santa out did himself already!

Well, last week was my weigh in & here are the results with November's numbers in parentheses.

Hips: 41 (42)
R Thigh: 21 3/4 (22)
Waist: 32 1/4 (32 1/2)
R Arm: 11 (11 1/4)
Shoulders: 40 (40)
Body fat: 28.1% (30.8%)

In two months I'm down about 10 pounds, my body fat went from 34% down to 28.1% and I've shed around 6 inches. I have to say I'm pretty happy with those results. When you are overweight, you can feel like you will never lose that excess weight. Once you start to lose it, you feel pretty incredible, but most of us know that once you see results, that doesn't mean you can slack off.

Joe was concerned that perhaps I'm not enjoying my food as much as possible, but instead of sounding like a psycho I just said it wasn't so bad, when the real truth is I have to be tough on myself with my food otherwise I'll start to slip. When you're watching what you eat, the food can get boring after awhile. Joe suggested that maybe I try some new recipes, which I'm always up for and even offered some suggestions. For example, for lunch or dinner he recommended having a piece of pizza with a side of chicken and vegetables or salad. It basically hits all of the food groups and is a nice change of pace from the standard turkey or chicken and salad.

Now for anyone who has struggled with their weight, you know how your wardrobe changes throughout the battle. When you're overweight you wear things to hide yourself and not draw attention to your problem areas which to you usually feels like everywhere on your body. Once you start to lose weight you hate all of your old clothes because they don't fit you right or they make you look bigger than you want to look. Getting dressed becomes a problem not because you're trying to cover yourself up, but because you are trying to show off a little more of yourself so you just hate everything in your closet. Then there's the whole idea of "getting a new wardrobe" but how realistic is that? Most of us spend a long time piecing together the clothes that make up the closet, we can't just go out and purchase a whole new wardrobe.

My work outs have been full of sweat & pain. 15 is officially my least favorite number right now. Joe loves to make me do 15 reps of some of the most challenging exercises. Whatever happened to 10 or 12? Why should they be neglected?

Yesterday was no different. 15 reps on a chest press with my legs extended in the air, 15 on the bent over rows with the barbell and so on. The good thing is Joe does tend to decrease the reps in some of the sets, but needless to say by the 3rd exercise and all those reps my arms were shot. Then came the worst part... Joe thought it would be a good idea to do some core exercises with the upper body, which I figured wouldn't be so bad. WRONGO! I had to do forward AND side planks! No one should have to do forward & side planks in the same work out! I was shaking so much I could hardly hold myself up. My shoulder has been bothering me lately and I haven't said anything, but after you've had one cortisone shot it kinda lingers in the back of your mind that another one could always be necessary. I don't think I'm at that point, but one thing is for sure Icy/Hot patches are my new best friends.

I hope that everyone has a fantastic Christmas & enjoys good food and family and friends! I will probably post before the New Year after the Christmas feast. Until next time...

Marisa

The Great Escape...

2010-12-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

As the week is winding down, I am feeling extremely burnt out. I'm used to being tired, but my energy level has pretty much bottomed out. I haven't been sleeping all that well & I know that is never good for the whole health crusade. It's the last 2 weeks of the semester, which means getting ready for finals. The thought of my finance final actually gives me chest pain. It is take home, but he has made it clear that it will be the entire semester worth of material and that it won't be easy to figure out. LOVELY.

Work has been busy to say the least & we've been down a man here & there which makes it even better. (That's sarcasm in case you were wondering) The other night in my community health care class my professor asked how we handle stress... some people said they go for a run, or they sleep, or they read the Bible... my reply : Red wine (& baseball when its in season). Since drinking large quantities of red wine isn't good for my weight loss plan, I've gotta try & deal in other ways. What I'd really like to do is take a bunch of books & my notebook, go sit on a beach for a couple days and just veg out. I wouldn't mind throwing a few massage treatments in there too :)

The whole stress thing got me thinking... so many people (myself included) turn to food in times of stress. When you're stressed all you want to do is feel better. Food tends to be a quick relatively non damaging fix that can make you feel better. How many of us have drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a pint of Hagen Daaz? Or demolished a plate of fries or cookies in the blink of an eye? It temporarily makes us feel better & eventually we're left with extra weight that somehow makes us feel worse. Logically, most of us know that eating out of stress is only gonna do more harm than good, yet we rationalize that it's okay to feel better for a little while and pay for it later. Too many "pay for it laters" & all you're left an awfully high bill.

Okay, onto the good stuff. Tuesday was my first day back in the gym after the Thanksgiving festivities. Joe came up with a new combination of stuff for the full body work out. 15 reps is honestly his favorite thing. Damn me for having good form! I can't help but think back to a time when I had terrible form. I had a hard time doing more than one thing at the same time. I could barely do a squat, I had terrible balance & my core strength was non-existent. It makes me feel pretty good to see how far I've come. I was sweating like a whore in church and I felt like I was going through a detox. It was definitely a good, worth while feeling. Tomorrow I'm going in for another full body beating & then will return Saturday for some good ole' cardio.

While I was on the treadmill on Tuesday, I saw someone boxing with one of the other personal trainers and I found that I was staring at them. I never thought I would get into boxing considering it all started out as a joke. I REALLY miss it. I loved the challenge of it, and it was a great release. I'm hoping Santa brings me a punching bag and some boxing gloves for Christmas :)

Hope everyone has a good weekend!! Until next time...

Marisa

Thanksgiving Edition...

2010-11-28T08:48:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I hope that everyone enjoyed time with their family & friends & of course some good eating! Clarence, our Thanksgiving turkey was a very good bird. Yes, I like to name the turkey. After you spend time seasoning & stuffing the turkey you bond with it (mom cleans it not me) & therefore I kinda feel like it deserves a name. He cooked perfectly & I couldn't have been happier with the taste.

Before I forget, I promised a review of Rascal Flatts new CD & the new Harry Potter movie. Rascal Flatts new album "Nothing Like This" is pretty awesome. I can't say it's my favorite... I think "Unstoppable" probably wins that title. However, it's a very solid album. "Easy" which features Natasha Beddingfield is probably my favorite track with "Sunday Afternoon", "Nothing Like This" & "Red Cammaro" as my other favorites. If you're a country music fan I recommend downloading the album.

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. WOW was all I could say when I walked out of it last weekend. They did an amazing job sticking to the book, and it really was exactly how I imagined it in my head. This movie is by far the most intense and the darkest of the saga. It definitely had me at the edge of my seat & made my sister jump a few times. Really, really well done & I can't wait for part 2 in July!

Okay, so onto the quest... I currently feel like I got hit by a truck. Joe decided to change things up a bit on Tuesday & I am feeling it everywhere. We did a full body work out with a little more focus on upper body... He had me do a kneeling chest press, an alternate pull up (I had to walk my feet out in front so my legs were straight, arms were straight on a bar that was on a bench press bar & had to pull my chest to the bar), shoulder raises and bicep curls while kneeling on a bosu ball & triangle planks (hold yourself in a plank position on your forearms and then push yourself up one hand at a time and back down on your forearms). The last one in particular was absolutely awful. By the 3rd set I could only crank out 5. I pretty much dropped right on my face. Trying to do that after doing the majority of the other exercises was rough. As I went to do my cardio afterward, I couldn't help but think of how sore I was gonna be the following morning. Still, I reminded myself that you're supposed to feel that muscle soreness after working out, which was something I had missed for a long time.

Carrying Clarence fully stuffed in a heavy pan down two flights of stairs with sore arms certainly was a challenge but it was worth it. The shin splints however, were NOT worth it. I was very proud of the dinner I put out with mom's help, but I was constantly hearing Joe's voice in my head saying, "Eat small portions!" When you're the one cooking the dinner you are usually inclined to eat less because you've already spent so much time preparing the food, worrying about how it'll turn out that by the time it hits the table you don't really wanna look at it anymore. I definitely enjoyed what I ate, it was just less than everyone else at the table. Portion control is a big issue for those of us who like to eat. You tell yourself you're just gonna have a little bit of something, and then you find you're staring at it so you decide you'll just have a little bit more, and all of a sudden you've eaten way more than you intended to. That is how the vicious cycle of over eating starts. It is difficult to remind yourself that eating that little bit extra is damaging and will only make things worse. Realizing that is probably the hardest part.

Unfortunately, the rest of the week & weekend were full of activities so I didn't make it back to the gym. (Friday night saw Michael Buble <3 & Saturday hit NYC with dad & my sisters to see Promises, Promises--which I highly recommend & have dinner) Next week I'll be back in my normal work out routine so I can step it up before Christmas rolls in. Weigh in should be next week so it'll be good to get that out of the way before Christmas. Joe told me Tuesday that I look like I'm losing weight so that's definitely a good sign!

I hope that everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving & a great weekend! Until next time...

Marisa

Start Me Up...

2010-11-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

First order of business... there are a few things I need to bitch about. Last week was absolute HELL. The office was insanely busy, which meant cranky patients, cranky staff all of which wasn't helped by the fact that we were short staffed. I'm just curious if people think coming up to the window 5 times to be rude to the receptionists is going to help anything? It just felt like we couldn't do anything fast enough, couldn't get ahead with anything... by Thursday night I wanted to take a big straw & stick it in a double magnum of red wine. Factor school into this equation & I wanted to scream. The end of the semester is full of the nonsense professors try to cram in before classes wrap up & then there is the annoyance of trying to register for the next semester.

Although the icing on the cake happened this morning. I was at the drive thru at Dunkin Donuts waiting patiently to order my coffee & as I approached the window I noticed my order was waiting at the window. This wouldn't seem strange except the person in front of me decided that she wouldn't use the standard talk into the box to place your order method. She waited until she got up to to the window so the cashier would be unprepared for her to place an order. This held up the line even more. I was absolutely enraged! Who goes to a drive thru and does something like that? There should be a sign displaying drive thru edict because clearly some people have no idea how to properly utilize a drive thru!

Okay... rant is over. So after putting up some good numbers at the weigh in last week, I was feeling pretty determined to improve for next month. I got in the newly revised full body work out on Thursday & then did a cardio work out on Friday. Yesterday we went through a core work out. For those of you who have never done a core work out do not for one second think because you aren't lifting heavy weights that it is easy. Personally, I think core is much more difficult than weight lifting. I had to put my forearms on a bosu ball (that's half a stability ball with a flat hard rubber bottom) and hold up my entire body weight for a minute. Doesn't sound so bad? I dare you to try it. Next I had to hold myself up on one arm... and since I was reminded we have two sides I got to do it on the other side next. Absolutely awful. There is no satisfaction in doing those. Talk about dripping sweat. There were a total of 5 core exercises followed up by some treadmill time. By the time I walked out of there, every part of my clothes were sticking to me. I suppose that's a sign that the mission was accomplished.

Today my entire body hurts, but it's the good kind of hurt. I won't get back into the gym until Friday, & I'm planning on doing a full body work out with some core added in. Saturday will probably be a cardio day... yay. I miss boxing so much that I asked for a punching bag for Christmas :)

Food has been good although I am so fed up with oatmeal, chicken, salad, chicken, oatmeal, & did I mention chicken? I probably should be eating a little more than I have been, but I've been so busy I usually just postpone it. It usually takes me more than the morning to finish my coffee so that's just an idea how the rest of the day goes. Food gets boring & sometimes it's hard to come up with new & exciting HEALTHY alternatives. While I'm on the hunt for some new stuff, I will deal with having to eat the boring healthy stuff because it helps the whole process along. Why couldn't there be no calories in bagels? Or cream cheese?

I still can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week. I finalized my menu on Monday night and pasta making commences on Sunday. I've always loved Thanksgiving... we get to combine our Italian traditions with a classic American holiday. Even though it's a lot of work, I really do enjoy cooking for Thanksgiving. I do not enjoy having to go to work the day after though. Back in the day, mom & I used to hit the mall & do a bulk of Christmas shopping on Black Friday. Believe it or not, we always hit it just right & never got caught in any kind of rush. I would definitely prefer to be doing that than be at work, but this is all part of being a grown up... ICK.

I'm glad tomorrow is Thursday... that means the week is almost over! The other night I purchased my Harry Potter tickets for me, dad, & 2 of my sisters! So excited! Deathly Hallows was my favorite book in the Potter saga. Also gonna preview the new Rascal Flatts cd tomorrow. Definitely looking forward to that. I'll report back on both. The one thing I've been thinking about the past few days other than Derek Jeter's contract negotiations is the spa in the Borgata hotel in AC. It is like a little piece of paradise. After an amazing massage they have this room with 2 big jacuzzis, a steam room & lounge chairs all around as if you were sitting at a pool. Total relaxation. I'll just keep pretending I'm there instead of here.

Until next time...

Marisa

Hips Don't Lie...

2010-11-10T20:09:00.000-08:00

It's pretty hard to believe this week is almost over already. Last weekend is kind of a blur with all the sadness of Bill's passing. Mom & I headed out to Long Island on Saturday to pay our respects. I still don't believe that he's gone, but there is one thing I do know & that is that I'm so lucky to have had him in my life. There's that quote about how people come into your life & you know right away they were meant to be there... that's how it was for me with Bill & probably everyone else in the Wildwood crew. He won't ever be forgotten.

Well this week was the week of truth... my first weigh in and measurement check since I started my new work out regime. Scales make me nervous... It's easy to say the numbers don't matter, but in this present society when you're a female more when it comes to weight is definitely NOT better.

The first round of measurements were done on October 5th and the second were done November 9th. The October numbers are in parenthesis.

Body Fat 30.8% (31.8%)
Hips 42 (42 1/2)
Thigh 22 (22 1/2)
Waist 32 3/4 (33 1/2)
Right Bicep 11 1/4 (11 1/2)
Shoulders 40 (41)

After BMI calculations etc turns out I lost a total of 3 inches and over 2lbs of fat!! My weight is down 5 pounds, which goes to show despite putting on some muscle, I'm still shedding the unwanted pounds. I was definitely very pleased with the results. I know that I still have a long way to go, but it's nice to see that the hard work is paying off. A girl has to eat a lot of chicken to achieve those numbers.

Tuesday's training session was a full body work out, but modified from the first time Joe put me through it. I made it through round 2 a lot better than round 1. Cardio after that was not so fun, but I forced myself. It feels really good to be going in the right direction again. Clothes are starting to feel better, so that is usually a tell tale sign that something is going right. It's still a battle every day when I force myself to eat oatmeal instead of picking up a bagel with cream cheese on my way to work. I know this whole thing would be easier if I didn't have such a deep love for chocolate, but alas it's a flaw I just can't shake.

Through all this though I find that while I feel extremely motivated I most definitely miss boxing. It was such a big accomplishment for me to get coordinated enough to punch and move at the same time that I really looked forward to the challenge of doing harder punch combinations. It's been nearly 3 months since I've put the gloves on, and the urge to hit something is pretty strong. I've been told I have a lot of pent up rage, but we all have to find out outlets so I think I'll be asking for a heavy bag for Christmas :)

Tomorrow I'll be back at the gym and I plan on getting in there over the weekend. My short term goal is to drop at least another 5 before Christmas, but I think I'll be a little greedy and hope for a little more! With a lot of hard work & a little luck I just may get the Jessica Biel body I've been hoping for.

One final note... I heard this on the radio today & I thought I was hallucinating because I was half asleep but apparently the New Kids on the Block & the Backstreet Boys are teaming up for a concert?! Turns out... it's the truth..

The Right Stuff & I Want It That Way at the same concert?! Heaven for a boyband lover. I do hope they come to NJ or NYC :)

Until next time!

Marisa

Hello/Goodbye...

2010-11-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

It's good to be back! Sorry for the delay in posts, but the past 2 weeks have been kinda crazy. Between midterms, the gym, and work and the baseball playoffs I've been going non-stop. I'm sad to say my Yankees didn't make it past game 6 of the ALCS, which naturally didn't sit well with me. They got outplayed by Texas, & it was good to see two really deserving teams like Texas & San Francisco make it to the World Series. I will say though that the high light of the ALCS for me at least was sitting and watching Game 5 with my dad. Yankees played awesome that night & I felt like a little kid again just sitting there with him even though I know more about baseball now than he does :)

I made it through midterms... by some miracle I passed finance & I rocked my community health midterm! I wish I could say I had a bit of a break until finals, but that would be highly unrealistic. It's flu season at work, which means a busy office which is a good thing but sometimes the chaos is overwhelming especially when the next day off in sight is Thanksgiving.

Workouts have been going well. Last week I was on my own because my trainer had an event to go to the night of our normally scheduled session. I definitely feel like I am pushing myself more than I have in awhile. Joe suggested that I do my cardio after I lift, which normally would've been the last thing I wanted to do & even though I LOATHE cardio, it's honestly not so bad. I definitely think that is helping me.

Tonight we focused on the lower body. I'm not gonna lie... I was kinda nervous for it. Considering after my upper body work out I couldn't put my hair up in a pony tail for almost 2 days, I was imagining that I wouldn't be able to sit for almost 2 days. Luckily, it wasn't quite so bad. I did squats with a 20 lb straight barbell across my chest, one leg leg presses, straight leg dead lifts with a 20 lb barbell and hip extensions on a stability ball. I was very thankful that Joe realized that any more exercises than that would've completely killed me. I was just glad that my knee held up through it all because that was another worry in the back of my mind. He had me finish up with some cardio, but reminded me to take it easy due to the fact that my legs were feeling like jello. Needless to say, that was one of the most challenging treadmill workouts I've had in quite awhile. When you feel like you can't get your legs underneath you, it makes it pretty difficult to feel like you are in a good stride. I was able to walk off the treadmill in one piece which is really all I can ask. There was a guy next to me on the treadmill and he was running with such ease and I have to say I just wanted to smack him. How do people do that? Just looking at him made me feel tired and he was running like it was nothing at all. I have accepted that I will never be one of those people, but kudos to him for doing it so well.

Food has been good. This time of year is when it really starts to get hard. We do a lot of pre-holiday baking in my house to try things out before the holidays and it is very difficult to steer clear of the sweets. Still, I have been really good and watching my carb intake. Lots of eggs and veggies! Although I have to say, I'm at the point where I'm ready to divorce oatmeal. I can barely get it down these days, but I keep reminding myself it's all for the greater good. I've also had it with chicken, but I know for my best interest I can't give it up. Next week should be time for remeasuring and a weight check so I'll have a better idea of where I'm at. Clothes are feeling good. Pants that felt a little snug a few weeks ago are feeling great now. I guess that has to be a sign that I'm doing something right.

Before I sign off, I would like to mention the loss of a truly amazing man who touched so many lives just by being a part of them... Bill Waldron. You were such a big part of my childhood & you made all of us in the crew feel like one of your own kids. I am grateful that I had the pleasure of spending so many summers around you. You will never be forgotten by me or by anyone else who's life you touched. We will never be the same without our fearless leader, but we will do our best to keep alive what you helped create... a group that loves spending time together & comes together when it matters the most. R.I.P. <3

Busy next couple of days... how is it November already? I'm definitely going to be looking forward to gaining an hour of sleep this weekend. Until next time...

Marisa

Making Strides...

2010-10-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already the middle of October! Where does the time go? Last night I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair with my cousin. UNREAL. Getting to see them in a small theater setting was really cool. It felt like we were right on top of them. They have been one of my favorite bands for 15 years now and like my cousin said even all these years later songs of theirs that we liked at age 10, 12, 15 we still love now. That's the mark of a good band.

I'm happy to say despite my intense soreness after my full body work out last Tuesday I was able to lift again... just not until Saturday morning. I'm proud that I pushed myself, but I probably should've said something at the time. There's pushing yourself and then there's taking it too far and being sore for 3 days is taking it too far.

I think what makes this whole thing even more difficult is that I'm working with someone that's trying to get to know me, and I'm trying to get him. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining or trying to tell him how to do his job, but at the same time I know myself slightly better. After going back and forth over it in my head several times, tonight when I saw Joe I told him how sore I'd been and that maybe doing arms and legs for EVERY exercise was probably not the best way to go since I need to function in a reasonable amount of time. Luckily, he was really cool about it. He agreed that I definitely shouldn't be sore for that long and that we could definitely modify the work out so that I wasn't in so much pain, which I greatly appreciated. We did mostly an upper body work out but also focused on using the core, but I do think lifting my arms to put my hair up in a pony tail is going to be a problem tomorrow. At least I can sit to pee without any problems.

I wrote down my measurements and body fat that got taken 3 weeks ago. As much as I hate numbers I figured it was probably a good idea to post them so I can see the progress...

Body Fat: 31.8%
Hips: 42 1/2 inches
Right Thigh: 22 1/2 inches
Waist: 33 1/2 inches
Shoulders: 41 inches
Right Bicep: 11 1/2 inches

My best numbers were 2 years ago... body fat was 23.5 %, hips were 39, waist was the same as were my thighs and biceps. Today when I checked my body fat it was down to 30.4% so I gotta take that as a good sign that I'm doing something right! Still have a long way to go, but I'll definitely take the progress. My current schedule doesn't help me get into the gym any more often, but I'm making a good effort. As much as I don't like the numbers, they have been a lot worse and they can only improve!

Well, Game 4 of the ALCS is giving me chest pain. We started off so well and it went down hill so quick. Our bats aren't coming alive when we need them to and our pitching can't seem to hold it all together. To make matters worse, Mark Teixeira suffered a hamstring injury tonight & I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you it didn't look pretty. We certainly don't need him out, but it looks like that might be the case. Yankees are mustering an 8th inning rally! Time to go cheer on my boys! Until next time...

Marisa

No Pain No Gain?

2010-10-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in posts but things have been pretty crazy. Flu shot season is in full swing & it just seems like there aren't enough hours in the day to get stuff done. Add school into that and I'm completely spent. On a happy note, the Yankees have advanced to the second round of the playoffs & start off the ALCS tomorrow night in Texas! I <3 October baseball.

The past two days I've felt exceptionally cranky... Yesterday I left the house at 7:30am--we had a full schedule at work and I was trying to accomplish about 5 different things at once. When I finally got to my desk, I realized I was going to have to bill out 94 people without any papers to go off of (we were trying an experiment of using the sheets in the computer for billing as opposed to the paper ones... with 94 patients that's nearly impossible). I left for school at 5 and had a lovely finance midterm to take. My entire body hurt from the workout I did Tuesday and I had to sit in a desk made for a high school freshman for over 2 hours and take the most ridiculous midterm ever. 2 hours wasn't enough time and I felt like I was speeding through it trying to finish the questions. Got detoured on the way home (stupid road pavers) so I pulled into my garage at 8:47 pm. UGH. All I wanted was a stack of pancakes to ease my woes, but alas I had a bowl of oatmeal instead. Oatmeal and I have a very close relationship these days, but I'm at the point that I'd prefer to throw it across the kitchen instead of eat it. Today was equally as crazy, but without the midterm, but a visit to Happy Hour with Michelle definitely made it better :)

Last week kicked off my new work out program and Tuesday night was part 2 of the new workout regime. I happen to enjoy a full body work out, but when I say lifting my arms to put my hair in a pony tail right now is painful I kid you not. 3 sets of squats & rows (15 reps), step ups on a bench one leg and shoulder press with 10 lb. weight 3 sets (15, 12, 12), 3 sets of dead lifts with a 15 lb. barbel (15 reps), and then 3 sets of lunges with a 10 lb. press (15 reps). I was sweating like a whore in church and with almost no recovery time I'm not really sure how I made it through that. I'm trying to be open minded... new gym, new work out programs and the trainer they paired me up with is nice & definitely knows his stuff... but I have to be honest, I wanted to scream "SLOW DOWN!" but I figured yelling at someone that hasn't known me for more than a week would probably not be a good idea.

I really think the number of reps is what did me in. The exercises were good, but when you're doing single leg and single arm and you have to do 15 reps on EACH side it becomes tiring pretty fast. All you crazy weight lifting people can stop laughing at me now. I enjoy weight lifting a lot, but all those reps and all the pressure on my knee not good times. Most guys I know don't do THAT many leg exercises and they don't have to sit to pee. Needless to say I had some bonding time with an ice pack when I got home.

Today I went back to the gym...but there was no way I could do all that lifting again so I settled for some time on the treadmill. 12 minutes and for the first time I did 5 intervals (30 second running) and the rest I was walking at a max of 6 degrees on the incline. I burned 108 calories and then did some ab work before calling it a night. Hopefully tomorrow I'm not as sore and can get another lifting routine in. Food has been good... definitely not feeling as hungry as often which is always a good thing. Still thinking about those pancakes... such quality late night food.

All I can take from that pain and sweat is that soon enough I'll start to see some results. They just showed a commercial for pancakes... that's just the universe laughing at me again. So ready for the weekend. Until next time...

Marisa

Here I Go Again...

2010-09-29T20:41:00.000-07:00

Let me start off this blog by welcoming home one of my best friends from his five long months at Navy boot camp & electrician training!! So proud of you Danny & even better to have you home even if it is for a short stay!

Also, a big congratulations to my friend and co-worker Lauren and her husband John and their new addition...the adorable Braeden! I look forward to the pictures of the little guy every day. It really is amazing how a baby can just brighten your day.

Okay, so now down to business. I've been getting tons of suggestions from all the way down in the caribbean to right here at home about what I can do to lose the weight I need to lose. I appreciate all the advice and tips. Let me be clear. I am not looking for a quick fix. This is a LIFESTYLE. Yes, I seem to have lost my way a bit over the past several months, but I haven't veered off track completely and I can get back to where I need to be. I am aware that eating less is a way to lose weight, but I am not a believer in just eating a piece of fruit for breakfast and a yogurt for lunch. When your body goes into starvation mode and yes, for most people who eat that way that's what happens, your metabolism shuts down and stops burning fat. I don't need my metabolism to be slowed down any more than it already is.

I may work in an office, but I certainly don't sit down ALL day. I'm up and down the stairs several times, reaching and bending for charts so being stationary isn't something that happens for long periods of time. Even when I'm home, I'm up and down the stairs, bustling around the kitchen, cleaning (which you can burn close to 100 calories just by doing moderate housework) so I don't come home and constantly lay around even though I'd like to.

I joined a new gym in town... Retro Fitness and I have to say, it's nice to be in a gym where there are actually people! It's always a little strange going into a new place where you have no idea where anything is or what the general vibe of that place is. Saturday I went in to do a work out which was good. I signed up for the complimentary fitness evaluation that is part of the welcome package they offer. The GM of the trainers was really cool and I like the over view he gave me of what they try to do there. To my complete joy he showed me statistical evidence that shows that doing excessive or primarily cardio for a work out is NOT the way to keep weight off. Weight training and nutrition are the best ways to get rid of unwanted weight with some cardio that requires you to hit your target heart rate. THAT made me feel so much better considering I loathe cardio and love lifting. I'm a little bit out of the loop, but I think this was a really good change for me and in no time I'll be back in the full swing of things. I'll be keeping track of my work outs over the next month so I'm definitely gonna try to post them as a way of keeping track of my progress.

It's time to take back control over my life and my body and considering this former fat girl doesn't want to go back to trying to cover herself up and hiding, change is gonna come. This is my fitness icon...yes, it's Jessica Biel (don't laugh) but the girl is toned and slim. She has an athletic yet feminine look to her which is exactly what I want. Her body is killer in "Blade Trinity" so that will be my inspiration.

Got a busy weekend ahead, but I'm looking forward to it. October baseball is on the horizon! Yankees clinched a playoff spot...they're just waiting to see if they win the division or the wild card. I'm crossing my fingers for the division. Maybe by then, the pitching staff will have sorted themselves out and if Girardi knows anything he will NOT start AJ Burnett in the division. Him and Vazquez are such a mess I think they must pick up on each other's bad habits.

Look for work out reports next week. I'm officially exhausted so I'm packing it in for the night. Until next time.

Marisa

No Time Left For Losing...

2010-09-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

Another weekend has come to a close and another week has started. I've been getting suggestions from people to keep track of my weight and measurements as well as keep a food diary. I've done the food diary thing many times in my day and I don't really mind it. I do hate the idea of recording my weight. Look, I know that it's only a number, that weight is just my relationship with gravity, but to be honest, gravity and I have had mostly a hate relationship. I'm also a believer that the number doesn't necessarily mean anything because for those of us that want to be muscular (and not in the body builder kind of way), we're going to weigh more because of the muscle. That being said, I am not under the delusion that I can weigh 180 pounds because I want to be muscular. But I know that I will never weigh 130 pounds and even 135 might be pushing it because I'm a tall, muscular girl. As long as I can give off the appearance of 135 or 130 I'll be happy.

Sunday I headed down to south Jersey for my great aunt's birthday. I was getting ready to leave and as I was drying my hair I caught sight of myself in the mirror and I almost dropped the hair dryer. I felt like my skin was just hanging off the sides of my shirt over the top of my pants and I literally had a melt down. I almost started to cry because I couldn't understand why this is happening. I did a really dumb thing and got on the scale yesterday morning and I think the number still had me rattled and that made me even more upset. I went back in my room and changed my shirt to something that covered me up slightly better and all I could think was, "I can't get back to a place where I'm covering myself up." It's a very scary thing and for those of you who know what I'm talking about, you understand the fear.

I am fortunate for the most part to have a good support system around me. My best friend Michelle reminded me how far I've come and that I will always see myself with imperfect eyes. That's probably true. For me, my weight is always going to be an obstacle. Even once I get to where I wanna be I'm always going to have to fight to keep it, and I guess that's okay.

Today was good with food. I made myself eggs for breakfast, had some salad and chicken for lunch, had an apple and a piece of cheese before hitting the gym... I managed 10 minutes on the stair master at level 3 and all I could think about while I climbed was how much I HATE that machine. Then I had the brilliant idea to go on the new elliptical, which by the way is a lot harder than the old one. Within 2 minutes, my legs felt like jello but I kept on trucking thanks to "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna :) I finished with 3 sets of abs before going home to cook. Made some pasta with sausage, peas and some melted mozzarella as a change of pace. Not eating at night is hard, but I'm staying away from food after dinner unless it's an apple.

Last night was the premiere of Dancing With the Stars and every season I watch it I always think about how much I want to learn to ballroom dance. I LOVE the Latin dances. I don't know how I'd feel about someone throwing me around a dance floor but it always looks like so much fun! Not to mention great exercise! One of these days maybe I'll find someone to dance with and go take lessons. If the Situation can do it, I should be able to do it too!

Tomorrow is gonna be brutal...full day at work then class from 6-8 which means not getting home until around 830. AWFUL. Thankfully, my Yankees are now 2 1/2 games up on Tampa Bay. They still have 2 games left against them before Boston. I would just be happy if we could clinch already. By the way, I gotta take a second to shout out "Boardwalk Empire", HBO's new series which is occupying my "True Blood" void. Really, really good show and I'm saying that after one episode. Can't wait til Sunday night. Okay, way past my bed time! Until we meet again...

Marisa

To Be Who You Is, You Gotta Be Who You Are...

2010-09-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying there is a lot of awesome new music out right now, which is making life a little more tolerable. The Goo Goo Dolls new CD "Something for the Rest of Us" is a really good listen. With the exception of two tracks I love it. It's nowhere near "Dizzy Up the Girl", but it's slowly creeping into second place. Sara Bareilles, one of my favorite female piano players/singer/songwriters new CD Kaleidoscope Heart is also a good listen. I've only listened through about four times and while I like her first CD "Little Voice" better, there are still some really awesome tracks on it. Michael Buble's new single "Hollywood" is one of those songs that you find yourself tapping your foot to without even realize it. I'm definitely looking forward to new music from Maroon 5 and Rascal Flatts in the near future. Music really makes the day a lot better.

School and work have been crazy and I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get stuff done. I really like my managing community healthy systems class... I actually feel like I can apply some of work experience to the class. My financial management class is a nightmare. My brain just doesn't compute numbers very well and to try and do that at 6 o'clock at night after I've been at work all day is not a good situation. Luckily, my friend Joe teaches finance so he's been really helpful. I can write papers or read book after book, but numbers and I aren't friends. Hopefully Joe will be able to translate for me, otherwise I'm in trouble.

So the stair master is my new best friend. I hate it but I'm trying to love it. On Tuesday I managed to do 10 minutes on there which if you've ever been on a stair master you know feels like a lot longer. I decided to do a full body work out after that which was good...tiring but I felt good. Today I managed another 10 minutes but at level 3. I get through it by reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels on my Kindle while I climb and I tell myself it will all pay off in the end. I followed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill and some abs. I also hit one of the standing heavy bags in the aerobics room for a few minutes but it didn't feel as good as when I hit the focus mitts. I need to find a new boxing partner because I am missing it like crazy. I never thought I would love boxing as much as I do but it's such a rush to hit something stationary that can't hit you back. I've been told I may have some rage issues but I just chalk it up to good old fashioned aggression.

I've been working really hard to control my sugar intake. It's soooo hard! You'd be surprised how much sugar is in things you'd never think. I've been eating oatmeal with just a bit of brown sugar and LOTS of chicken. I wish I could get into cottage cheese, but I just don't like it. I LOVE the Greek yogurt I eat, but I'm trying not to eat it as often given the fact that it has at least 13 grams of sugar. Apparently lemon juice helps burn calories and just a few drops in water can help get the job done so I've been doing that too.

I wish I could just flip a switch and not love food so much, but it's just not possible. I wish that I didn't love to cook so much, but it is what it is and I've just gotta deal. There are just so many things I wanna make right now. It's coming into apple season so I wanna make apple pie and apple crisp. I also wanna learn how to make potato soup and chicken murphy. So I'll make the various sacrifices that I have to so I can enjoy just a little bit of those culinary delights!

A guy came into work yesterday and he was cute and I couldn't help but notice he was in good shape, but he had a very small waist and all I could think about what how I'd have to never eat again to have a waist that small. Sometimes I feel like guys only like girls with perfect bodies, but I'd like to hope that's not true. Still, I'm determined to work hard and look better than I do. It's good to have goals!

Well, I'm definitely ready for the weekend. I'm hoping the Yankees can take the series in Baltimore and regain their spot in first place. Everyone needs to step it up. I can't believe the season is winding down. I do love October baseball, but I hate to see it end. I'm gonna try to get some pictures up soon. I know it's been awhile... Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! Until next time...

Marisa

Come Back Summer...

2010-09-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

It has unfortunately slipped into that time of year when school starts again and the weather starts to get cooler. YUCK. I don't hate the fall, that would be the wrong thing to say, but the fall leads into the winter and that is something I'm not a fan of. I like football season and I LOVE October baseball, but the thought of the summer being behind me is never a good thought. Not to mention, Chris and John headed back to the caribbean and don't come back until December :( I'm sure the time will go by quickly, but right now it feels like an eternity. It was so great having them home. Last week we headed to the city twice--once for lunch at Circo which was really nice and then we went in Thursday night and visited Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, which was also really good. The weekend was full of BBQs which went perfectly with the nice weather. Nothing better than sitting outside on a deck with good food, good company and comfortable temperatures.

It's definitely been challenging watching my diet the past week due to all the going out to dinner and BBQs and my mom's birthday. I made sure to go to the gym on Saturday morning and got a full work out in. I took my mom to breakfast afterward and I refrained from eating French toast and settled for an omelette and some oatmeal. Saturday night, I didn't eat any bread at dinner and just had a bite of cake for good luck. Sunday was my biggest challenge. I was at a BBQ and I'd done well all day...but then during the "after hours" part, out came the potato chips and cheetos...not just any cheetos but crunchy cheetos. For anyone who is a fan of cheetos you know just how easily you can go from "I'm just gonna have a few" to the entire bowl is gone. I am proud to say that after much debate I decided not to put my hands anywhere near those bowls. I know how awful they are for me and God knows how many chemicals are in those things but let's be honest, they taste really good. Some people may not understand the harm in having "a few" but if you're a weight battler you know exactly why a "few" can become a very BIG problem.

Monday night as I was winding down from the weekend, watched the "Real Housewives of NJ" reunion part 2 (gotta love the TV drama!) and then caught Bravo's new series "Thintervention" with celebrity trainer Jackie Warner. I tend to be slightly obsessed with Bravo reality shows and back a few years ago Jackie Warner had her own show called "Work Out" which showed how she and her staff trained their clients blah blah. To be honest, Jackie is a bit of a drill sergeant, but she deals with a lot of obese people and I suppose she knows that being tough is the only way to get things done. Her methods do seem to work, but only when the clients actually listen to what she tells them to do.

On this show, she has a bunch of clients that are setting out to lose at least 30lbs and some people more. Her first assignment to them is to get rid of all the sugar in their house. Anything with more than 4 grams of sugar has to get tossed. One of the guys is a sugar addict so he really struggles with it and I have to say I can completely identify with that. I LOVE sugar. Sugar is in just about everything and it is really hard to cut out completely. I have to say though, it definitely got me thinking... if I can cut out at least half of the sugar I'm currently consuming that just may help my cause. I will try to follow Jackie's rule and keep it to 4 grams and under. That is a big step for me, but I'm willing to do it.

I had a really good work out today. I did 18 minutes on the treadmill and then I decided to hit the stair master, a machine I haven't gone near in years. 5 minutes on that thing is like 20 minutes on a treadmill! I challenged myself and would skip steps or let it go down farther before stepping up again. Definitely worked up a sweat. After that, I decided to do a full body work out. I was tired after, and my knees were definitely feeling the effects of the cardio, but overall I felt good. No pain, no gain, right? I'll deal with the knee pain for the time being.

I haven't boxed in over a month and I've gotta be honest, I miss it terribly. My boxing buddy has been otherwise engaged with other things so I've had nothing to hit. I think it's about time I get myself a heavy bag. I like hitting the pads better because you have more motion not only with the punches but with your entire body, but hitting something is better than nothing. I'm definitely gonna have to look into that.

Tomorrow I've got a long day ahead of me...work all day and then class for 2 hours. Fun times. I probably won't get to the gym until Friday, but that's my goal. Until then I'll be watching my sugar and increasing the cardio. A necessary evil. Until next time...

Marisa

Take It To the Limit

2010-08-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

I have hit an all time frustration level this week. I can't stand liars nor can I stand being accused of lying. As a result, I am now fired up. I've basically been accused of lying about my current weight and now I am on a mission like never before. I have been saying for awhile that I'm not happy with how I look. Maybe I was eating too many calories in a given day? Maybe I wasn't pushing myself hard enough in my work outs? It makes no difference now because I'm changing everything.

I stopped my morning and afternoon snack (unless I'm going to the gym I'll have some fruit or a yogurt beforehand). I stopped having a cocktail before dinner so all I'm drinking is alcohol. The other night we had a family outing for Chinese food and I LOVE the noodles they put on the table to be dunked in duck sauce and I did not have ONE noodle. My meals have consisted of oatmeal for breakfast or eggs, chicken and salad for lunch, and then protein of some sort for dinner. I stopped eating after dinner too. I made it to the gym twice this week due to all the stuff going on with my cousins being home from medical school and several family members' birthdays. I'm trying to make cardio my focus as well as abs, but I just can't stay on a treadmill or bike much past 20 minutes. The new gym I joined has some good classes like cardio kickboxing and zumba. Unfortunately, the gym is undergoing some renovations and I've gotta wait another week before I can get in there. Luckily, my membership at my old gym is standing for a few more weeks so I still have a place to work out.

All I know is that I'm being more disciplined than I have in a long time. Today I was over my dad's for Sunday dinner and we had steaks, baked potatoes and salad for dinner. I opted to pass on my potato and I had no cheese when it came time for fruit and cheese. I had a half a scoop of this new ice cream flavor I made instead of having a bowl of it and when I came home I didn't eat anything. It's time to get the lingering weight off and if that means I've gotta be strict for the time being then that's what I'll do. I've always hated all the focus my family has put on weight my entire life, but I'm at the point where I won't back down from a challenge.

I had some negative comments after my last blog post and all I can say is I knew when I put myself on a public blog such as this that I was opening myself up to people that might not share my opinion, which is completely fine. If you have never battled with your weight, I suggest that you take a step back before you open your mouth to criticize. On the outside looking in it may appear to be relatively uncomplicated, but I guarantee if you've walked in these shoes you know how complicated it can be.

Tomorrow I'm only working half day (YESS!!) and then I'll be heading into the city with my cousins for restaurant week. Some of the really well known restaurants in the city participate in restaurant week so that lunch is $24 each instead of costing the usual prices. I still plan on sticking to my strictness at least to the best of my ability tomorrow. It's supposed to be another nice day so I'm really looking forward to going in and enjoying a nice afternoon. School starts up for me again this week (Boo!!) but it's an unavoidable thing. I am officially on a mission so hopefully this fire keeps me going.
Until next time...

Marisa

No Easy Way Out

2010-08-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a long week, but I'm happy to say Chris and John have FINALLY returned from medical school!! They've been gone for about 4 months but some how it seems longer than that. It's just good to have them around again.

The downfall to that though is all the big dinners and going out we do for the 2 weeks while they're home. Don't get me wrong, it's really fun, but my waist line certainly doesn't appreciate it. Not to mention my dad, my sister and my grandma's birthdays are all this week coming up so that means more dinners out than normal... oh and my mom's birthday is the week after. I know that I have to really try to watch myself over the next 2 weeks but I also know that I have to enjoy it a little bit too.

Over the past couple of weeks I haven't been feeling very happy with myself and how I look. Maybe it's just a complex I have, but I'm incredibly frustrated. I made a really good coffee chip ice cream and the other night I was looking at the container of it on the counter. I was staring down into it thinking about how I could polish off that entire container without even thinking about it, but I opted to just have a spoonful. I definitely think about the food I could be eating or that I'd like to eat, but then I snap back to reality and remember that since I'm a former fat girl it just can't happen.

I have to take the time to mention that my 14-year-old sister commented on my last blog entry and gave me some suggestions that might help me drop the bit of weight that I'm complaining about. She just recently dropped about 15 pounds in the past 3 months and I'm really proud of her because I know how hard it can be especially for us girls that like to eat! While I appreciate the suggestions I have to say that there is a big difference in a 14-year-old's body and a 25-year-old's body. How many of you ladies out there around this age see those teeny boppers with perfect bodies that make you want to puke? Not to mention, our lives are completely different.

When I was her age, I was home all day during the summer so there was more time to exercise, etc. Now it's completely different... I leave the house early, work a full day and sometimes depending on the day, don't get home again until almost 8 pm. It definitely becomes more challenging as you get older because you don't have the free time that you used to and you're definitely more tired at the end of the day. Another difference is that I drink and she doesn't. I am not a heavy drinker by any means, but I have wine almost every night--at least one glass. Some nights I'll have a cocktail followed by wine at dinner, or if I happen to go out and have a drink with one of my friends that also makes a difference. Over the past 2 weeks, I have cut back on my cocktail intake... I try to only have one if I am out to dinner and just opt for wine. Those are added calories that a 14-year-old doesn't worry about. Still, I love the fact that my sister took the time to read my blog and offer suggestions... they are definitely very appreciated :)

I also have the pleasure of having a naturally slow metabolism... if I don't stimulate my metabolism it will completely shut down which is why I eat several small meals a day. Friday morning for example, I made scrambled eggs, had a yogurt for snack, had salad for lunch, followed up by some watermelon before I left the office. Dinner was... well, minus the appetizers we had for the table... pretty decent. I had some turkey chili which was awesome as always followed by some roasted chicken with a balsamic glaze, which was very well done. I ate no potatoes, had no bread and no dessert. If I ate every time I was hungry I'd be as big as a house, but I also don't like eating a lot at one time, which is why I'm also a fan of eating smaller meals. I would love to be more active, but there just isn't as much time for it as I'd like. That's a sad reality of getting older... you really have less and less time for the things you want to do.

This weekend took an unfortunate turn. Early Saturday morning our 10 1/2 year old golden retriever Remi died. We sat with her as she took her last breath and she went peacefully. As hard as it is, I'm grateful that we were with her. I made myself go to the gym and do some other errands before Chris & John's return bash. Party was great and definitely needed after the morning I'd had. Today was my sister and my dad's birthday celebration. I don't even want to think about all the things that I ate, but everyone has to have a cheat day. Granted, over the next 2 weeks I'll have more "cheat days" than I normally do, but Chris and John are only home for a short time so I make the most of it. I'll also be back in the gym tomorrow probably doing some serious cardio and abs.

Until next time...
Marisa

Cha, Cha, Cha, Cha... CHANGES!

2010-08-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

Change, change, change... that is the most dominant word in my vocabulary right now. I've been home for a week and all I know is that things need to change. Last week, I got moved upstairs at work to start learning more and getting involved in more things. I started off downstairs, went upstairs, then came back down and now I'm back up. It's definitely a good thing that I'm moving up and starting to learn more things, but I definitely miss being downstairs. I liked dealing with people, even though patients can be a bit much at times and I liked being around the staff downstairs. The staff upstairs is great, too it's just things are a lot more quiet up there, which I don't know if I'll be able to get used to. Luckily, I do get to go downstairs here and there so I'm not completely disconnected.

I decided to leave my gym that I've been at for the past 7 years. There are new owners and the place is dead, run down and I'm just bored with it. After much considering, I decided to join a gym in Montville with my cousin, which will work out well for both of us. They have a bunch of awesome classes to take and I think it'll be good to just be somewhere new. Yoga and kickboxing is something I need in my life.

I am just not happy with my body at the present moment. I'm a former fat girl, I'm always going to have body image issues, but I've gotta be in control of this otherwise I'll be walking down a road I don't want to be on again. For the way that I eat and how I work out, I feel like there should be some more progress. I felt like I was making some awhile back, but I feel completely stagnate right now and I don't like it. Couldn't something come a little bit easy? I don't mind having to work out, I actually enjoy it, and I like eating healthy, but I've about had it with grilled chicken and salad. There are mornings I wake up and I just want to eat a bagel with cream cheese rather than scrambled eggs or a yogurt. I'd LOVE to have a really good sandwich at lunch and I would be very content with having some pasta and perhaps some kind of meat as my dinner on a nightly basis. However, I like to consider myself a realist and I know that's not something that can happen in my world.

Food was good today... whole grain English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast, yogurt for snack, chicken and salad with a little cheese and cherry tomatoes, some corn soup (made by me!) and chicken for dinner. I ended the night with a yogurt even though I wanted a big bowl of the coffee ice cream I made yesterday. Yesterday was my cooking day so I made corn soup, eggplant caponata, asparagus salad, barley salad, and chicken so I'm pretty set for the week. Unfortunately, I won't get to the gym until probably Thursday but I'm looking forward to starting at this new gym. Went in tonight and I think I'll be just fine there.

In less than 2 days my cousins will be home from medical school until Labor Day and I'm so excited I can't even express it! There is nothing like when the 4 of us are back together so I'm looking forward to some awesome dinners, good parties and just fun times! I've got my head on straight as to what I need to do to get myself in order, but a little added inspiration wouldn't hurt either. Time for bed... another long day tomorrow! Until next time!

Marisa

Hate This Place...

2010-08-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

It pains me to say it but I'm back from vacation. Wildwood 2010 will go down as one of the best 10 days in Wildwood EVER. We had the most perfect weather that I can remember in a long time, which always makes the vacation even better. Everyone got along and just enjoyed being around each other. I would wake up every morning and look out at the beach and just think how lucky I am to have this amazing place and even more amazing people to share it with. Growing up and getting to be there every summer around that group of people has meant so much to who I am as a person. We're all so different, yet we mesh together so well and it really is a very special thing.

Okay, so down to the heart of the matter... I have said from the beginning that I am a fan of full disclosure so let me just say that I did NOT end up at the gym while on vacation. Instead, I walked half a mile on two separate mornings and worked my abs. We ended up doing a lot more walking than usual... over a mile almost every night on the boardwalk so at least I kept active.

On the mornings I ate out for breakfast I had omelets with whole wheat toast so I wasn't eating too crazy. If I cooked breakfast in the room I made cinnamon raisin French toast and would usually eat that with a yogurt for some extra protein. With the exception of a couple of days, I made myself a sandwich at lunch time so I was usually eating a Turkey BLT on whole wheat or a PBJ on whole wheat and one day I had salami which was glorious. I did accompany my sandwiches with some baked Lays which were quite good. I definitely ate less during the day than I did last year. I was definitely hungry when it was time to eat, but I wasn't snacking as much as I did last year. Dinners were pretty good for the most part... we went for Hibachi one night and I'm very proud to say I ordered a cucumber roll and ate it! The hibachi chicken I had with the veggies and rice was also very good. I did have ice cream just about every night and it was soooo good! If you can't enjoy your vacation, what's the point in all the hard work leading up to it?

I did have the benefit of getting to do some thinking while I was down the shore and I've come to the conclusion that now is the time to make some serious changes. For awhile, I've been unhappy with the gym I'm at. It's very outdated, there aren't really any personal trainers out on the floor anymore, and there's really no sign of it improving much. It has suited my purpose for the most part, but I feel like I have hit a plateau. I think I need new surroundings and different ways to push myself. Being in a bathing suit for 10 days really gave me perspective and something has to change because I put out a lot of effort and I feel like there isn't enough change. I'm just not totally happy with how I look. Being honest with yourself is hard, but if I don't do it, who will? There are a lot of things I want for myself and getting myself in the best shape possible is one of them so it's time to do it. Even though that may mean change, I've just gotta suck it up and do it.

Well, tomorrow is my first day back at work... BOO! I already have a salad set for lunch and my gym bag is packed. Cardio will be my priority tomorrow and I'll probably do some light weight lifting as well. I hate being home and wish I could do Wildwood all over again, but I've just gotta be thankful that as always that place has given me so much. Until, next time!

Marisa

There's No Place I'd Rather Be...

2010-08-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

There are NO words to describe how amazing it feels to be in Wildwood. Not only does being here make me feel so good, but being around this amazing group of people is what makes it even better. It's kind of hard to believe that I've been coming down here since I was five and a half months old and now I'm an old lady at 25! Ha!

One of my favorite things to do down here is walk by the beach or right on it in the morning. Since I know I'm going to be ingesting a ton of calories between food and alcohol this week it's important that I get my cardio in! I walked a little over a half of a mile yesterday morning, which was really nice. And while I am on vacation, I still try and keep myself somewhat in check. For breakfast I've been eating scrambled eggs with whole wheat toast, turkey clubs on whole wheat at lunch and my favorite Greek yogurt as a snack. Of course I've had some potato chips and ice cream in between but what's a good vacation without those things?

However, I will say seeing the girls with the perfect bodies definitely makes me feel self conscious. Sometimes I will look at myself and think I look pretty good and then I see some of these girls and I'm like, "You are definitely NOT working hard enough!" Being in a bathing suit really gives you perspective on where you're at. It can also make you really uncomfortable and if you've struggled with your weight like I have, you know what I'm talking about. I have just come to the conclusion that I will NEVER be one of those skinny girls and you know what, maybe that's okay. I like food way too much to ever be like that, but the battle is always raging on.

Today is my day off from cardio, but tomorrow I'll either walk again or go visit my gym down here. I definitely plan on getting some abs in tomorrow one way or another. Not sure what the dinner plan is for tonight... it's looking like some rain might pass through and we do tend to order in on Sunday, which I don't really mind. I have to say, I do miss cooking. This morning I whipped up some cinnamon raisin French toast which completely hit the spot. I promised my cousin John if I was going to indulge in ice cream every night I was going to have some different flavors... I'm happy to say that I have kept that promise. The first night mom and I went to Kohr brothers and yes I know it's frozen custard but it tastes just as good as ice cream! I had strawberry on a cone with chocolate sprinkles. The next night I had chocolate with chocolate sprinkles and last night I had strawberry and chocolate on the same cone with chocolate sprinkles. There are no words for how amazing that tasted. I didn't feel so bad because I walked a good distance to get the ice cream and walked back so at least I wasn't a complete blob! Tonight I'll have to get something different because I'd hate to disappoint John.

We've got some more people making their way in today so it should be a fun filled next couple of days. I probably won't blog again until I get home on August 7th. No new pictures until then. My body is gonna need a detox when I get back! It's about time for cocktail hour to commence to I gotta run back out there but I'll catch you all when I get back :)

Marisa

Take Me Home...

2010-07-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

It is officially upon me... the week leading up to Wildwood! It's pretty hard to believe, but as usual it has snuck up on me and in less than three days I will be back in my second home. There really are no words to describe my excitement about being down there, but most of all about being with some of the BEST people EVER!

Needless to say this week is gonna be crazy. I've got a lot going on at work that I need to get done and I've got two days to do it. The weekend was busy and as a result I'm barely packed. I'm in the midst of trying to pack while watching the Yankee game in anticipation of Alex Rodriguez hitting his 600th HR. I did have an awesome work out yesterday morning so that made me feel better. I can definitely see a difference that the extra cardio is making. I'm not quite as winded during my work outs, unless I'm boxing because your lungs are at a whole other level when you box.

I decided that today would be a cardio day with just some ab work since I had a heavy work out yesterday. However, while I was working out yesterday I felt a strange pull in my left elbow that radiated up my forearm into my wrist. It seems that I have strained 2 of the larger tendons... let me tell you that is NOT a fun thing to strain. Any bending or pulling motion sends an electrifying pain up my arm. I knew there would be no lifting today, which was fine. And then this morning I woke up and I realized I tweaked my left hamstring at some point yesterday which of course didn't surface until today. Regarding these two injuries, I should've gone home and done a yoga DVD to stretch out my muscles and let my body relax, but instead I went to the gym. I told myself that the elliptical would be a better option than the treadmill with no incline and going at a slower speed. Well, it might've been a better option, but it still wasn't a very good one. I did three sets each of two ab exercises and headed home. So now, I'm trying to pack and hobbling around like an old lady. This is what happens though... I have it in my head that missing out on a work out is a problem. The fact that I'll be away for ten days I have to push myself to the max before I leave otherwise I'll feel like I don't look my best. Yes, I realize that is slightly twisted, but when you are a former fat girl this is unfortunately how your brain works.

Food hasn't been bad. I've definitely upped the protein and added more veggies into the mix, but I have unfortunately discovered the M&M pretzels which is going to present a BIG problem. I was popping them in my mouth as if they had no calories last week and while I crave them, I'm kind of glad that the bag is empty. Tomorrow night I'm going down to PNC Bank Arts Center to see the Goo Goo Dolls with my cousin so the food will not be as good as I'd like, but Wednesday I'll be back to normal before vacation starts. Even when I go on vacation I don't let everything go to hell. There's actually a gym not far from the hotel that I've been going to the past 2 years so I plan on making an appearance there. I definitely kick back more when I'm on vacation, but I don't completely let myself go either because then I'd really be a lunatic. I would like to cook more when I'm down there but somehow that never really ends up happening and ice cream is mandatory every night so thank God for that gym. I plan on blogging at least once from the shore... I found out last weekend that even my hair stylist reads my blog! I can't even tell you how much that means to me that people actually look forward to reading what I have to say. I certainly hope I don't disappoint! Until next time...

Marisa

The Glory/Curse of Being Italian...

2010-07-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

It's pretty difficult not to discuss food in this blog since well if you're a fat girl or even a former fat girl you have a deep love of food. Let me just say, being Italian makes the battle so much worse. My family centers around food. We love cooking it, eating it, talking about it, and dining out to eat... so needless to say, trying to stay in shape is A LOT harder than if it wasn't such a huge part of our culture. As detrimental as the whole food thing can be to my figure, I love my heritage and I love my family's love of cooking and how it has been passed down. My father's mother comes from a region in Italy...the Emilia Romagna region and it's known for food so yesterday we had left over Bolognese sauce tossed in a pan with a touch of cream. That my friends, is a small slice of heaven. I didn't feel too bad about it because I had a killer work out Saturday. I learned a new ab exercise and it's SO challenging so naturally I love it! Plus, after a two week hiatus I got back into the boxing groove. Man, did that feel good.

Today was a standard busy Monday. However, I had the misfortune of getting slipped a caffeinated iced coffee this morning and by early afternoon my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. For anyone who can't handle caffeine, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The feeling is so uncomfortable and the next thing you know you're sweaty and you can't sit still. And for anyone who thinks that means you have an outburst of energy... WRONGO! You basically feel like your insides are about to jump out of your skin and it takes HOURS to go away. I debated for awhile, but I decided that I wasn't going to skip my cardio session at the gym. My cousin John has been encouraging the increase in cardio, so to show I respect his future medical opinion, I've been doing so. I did feel much better when I left the office so I took that as a good sign and hit the treadmill and elliptical. I really wish the gym had a pool...that would be much more fun cardio than just standing on those machines.

After 20 minutes of that and my new ab exercise, I'd had enough. Food was pretty good today. Whole grain English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast, a small taste of the new pound cake recipe I made for work today, chicken with asparagus, beans, tomato and mozzarella salad for lunch, some fruit for snack, and dinner... well that goes back to the whole curse of being Italian. My dad had some left over spaghetti carbonara which is also a little slice of heaven in a dish, and a stuffed pork chop for dinner tonight. I know how that wipes out a lot of what I did today but while I was eating it, it didn't seem so bad. The double edged sword of being Italian rears its ugly head again.

I've already got my eggs ready to scramble for the morning so I'll be kicking the day off with a nice healthy dose of protein. I plan on doing a combo of cardio and lifting tomorrow. As of tomorrow, Wildwood will be 9 days away so I gotta keep up my pace to be in the best shape possible before I get there. CAN'T WAIT! Until then, I'll keep on trucking. Hoping to have some new pictures by the end of the week! Stay tuned!
Marisa

Stepping It Up...

2010-07-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

The last week has been pretty busy but I didn't want any of my faithful readers to think I forgot about them (love to my readers down on the island!) I did manage to drag myself to the gym last Thursday after work and did a heavy lifting work out. I learned the hard way the week before that trying to do weighted lunges and kettle bell swings in the same work out is NOT a good idea. When you're a girl you have to sit for the most BASIC of functions so needless to say sitting down was somewhat painful for a few days. I modified my work out so I was able to sit down last week which worked out pretty well.

We're still dealing with the heat wave/humidity here which hasn't been fun. All you really wanna do is sit in air conditioning and not move. I was so happy to get some pool time in this weekend. It was while I was in my bathing suit that I got to thinking how important wearing the right type of clothes for your particular body type is. I don't think guys have to worry about that as much as the ladies do. If you wear low cut jeans and you have a little bit extra in the love handles area those low cut jeans are only going to make it stick out more. Same goes for a bathing suit... wearing a bathing suit bottom that's cut a little lower may not be good because when you sit down your stomach roll tends to show and who wants to see that? See guys, all the things you DON'T have to worry about?! I hate to say it but I am one of those people that really can't wear low cut pants or bathing suits. That's fine, but after I came to terms with that I decided that I needed to adjust my wardrobe accordingly. I think a lot of my body image issues were that I wasn't necessarily wearing all the right type of clothes for my body. I ordered a higher cut bathing suit and I wore it on Sunday and I wasn't freaking out as much about my appearance so I guess that did have something to do with it.

A new week started and Monday I was back in the gym. In an effort to improve my cardio, I dedicated 20 minutes to cardio... 10 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the elevated treadmill. God awful but I did it anyway. I really wish I was one of those people that could slap on my iPod and go out for a run or jump on a treadmill and just run on there for a half hour but alas I am NOT one of those people. I made sure I did an ab work out before heading out for the day. Yesterday when I normally would've skipped the treadmill in favor for just heavy lifting, I made sure I got on there for 10 minutes at the end of my workout. Did some dead lifts, lat pull downs, shoulder presses and of course abs.

Food has been decent... I've really been making an effort to eat more than a yogurt for breakfast and have yogurt or fruit as my morning snack. Lunch can be a bit of a challenge at times. To tell the truth, there are days when I just want a big, fat sandwich and having to settle for grilled chicken and salad just doesn't do the job. But I am happy to say that I have not given in to the cravings and have been sticking with my chicken and salad with the occasional chicken club sandwich. Dinners are good, but it's the after dinner that's the hard part. That's the time when I want to eat cookies or ice cream and I have to convince myself that eating a yogurt is the better way to go. Tonight I cheated a little with a scoop of some homemade strawberry ice cream (Kudos to my aunt for showing me the secret recipe!).

Tomorrow will be another long day... day 4 of computer training for the new system we're trying to implement so we can FINALLY go paperless. If we can get it to work for us it will make my life so much easier, but there is no guarantee on that one. Hopefully I make it through. Even though I'll want to just come home, flop on my bed and take a nap, my intention is to hit the gym for a cardio session after work. Wildwood is TWO weeks away so I'm trying to stay as strict as I possibly can. Check out some of my most recent pics and note the progress... Also, I have to mention a RIP to Bob Sheppard and George Steinbrenner who passed away this week. The baseball world is truly at a loss...

Until we meet again...
Marisa

About a month ago...

Yesterday :)

Burn Baby Burn...

2010-07-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Start of another week. I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday weekend. I spent 2 days eating and drinking some awesome food and wine. The heat was BRUTAL and it still hasn't let up. While mostly everyone spent Monday recovering from the weekend, I had to be at work bright and early. Not fun times. This weekend I was reminded just how much I love food and cooking...not that I need to really be reminded. Sometimes I think that I missed my calling in life. Maybe I should've gone to culinary school, but then I'm reminded that I hate fish and the thought of cooking it or worse having to clean it makes me gag. Not to mention the idea of being in a hot kitchen all day does not sit well with someone like me who gets warm very easily. And the restaurant business has some of the worst hours EVER and I'm more of a day time person anyway. I got some major kudos on the food I made for the weekend which made me feel good. I have been blessed enough to inherit a cooking gene AND a baking gene so I'm more well-rounded in the kitchen. However, sometimes I feel like everyone on the "cooking" side of the family only acknowledges my baking and it's forgotten that I can cook. Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot to learn on the cooking end since this family sets the bar so incredibly high, but I don't like being viewed as one dimensional. I really enjoy both. Some people can't stand the exact science aspect of baking while others don't like the demands of cooking. Personally, I enjoy both. I like knowing I made a killer dinner, but I also like knowing that my dessert is complimenting a meal. This is also why being around food all day would not be a good idea.

In an effort to detox from the weekend, I decided against doing my heavy lifting program today and went with some cardio. It was over 100 degrees today and going into the gym already sweating and then getting on an eliptical and treadmill was probably not the best idea, but it had to be done. I also did two sets of four ab exercises before heading home. Thursday I can heavy lift so at least I'll get it in this week. I know that cardio is going to help me reach my goal it's just soooo boring! I contemplated going on the stair master but then I thought to myself... what's the point of all that climbing and getting nowhere after ten minutes of sweating like a beast? Sure, you don't really get anywhere on a treadmill or on the eliptical but you're looking out straight and can kinda picture whatever you want. I always picture the beach in Wildwood...that's about the only thing that keeps me going.

My food was relatively good today. I made eggs for breakfast, made sure to have a yogurt at 10:30 this morning. Lunch was turkey on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato and mayo. I did have a square of chocolate espresso bar that I made and some fruit before the gym. For dinner I made chicken on the bone with some mozzarella and prosciutto, had some eggplant, and a couple forkfuls of pasta. I fought the urge to eat a piece of the caramel/chocolate covered apple that my mom got from Rocky Mountain Candy Store and opted for a yogurt instead.

Sugar is my drug. I LOVE sugar. I can't even imagine being diabetic and having to be without it. I can remember being a kid and eating Pixie Sticks...the rolled up paper filled with sugar. Don't even get me started on Fun Dip. Yes, I know all of that stuff is horrible for you and I can't even recall the last time I ate either of those things but sugar is soo good! Over the past few years I've really cut back my sugar intake which definitely helps in the weight loss department. Still, I refuse to completely give it up because life is too short to deprive yourself of all your guilty pleasures.

Tomorrow is an off day from the gym, but I plan on being back in there on Thursday. By Friday this heat is supposed to let up a little bit which will be a huge relief. Yankees are on the west coast which means I'm up way later than I should be. Hopefully there will be some pictures by the end of the week!
Marisa

Long Way Down...

2010-07-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I made it through to the end of the week. This week has been packed full of stuff and it seemed like every night I got home later. Tuesday night I made a quick run into the city with mom to help my cousin clean out more of her stuff from her apartment. There's nothing better than hauling what seemed like countless black garbage bags in the humidity and throwing them into the back of my car. We did get a lot out of her apartment which was helpful...I got in after 9 and then Wednesday had an equally long day. Thursday at least I got in late for a good reason... went with my sister to see "Eclipse". *EDWARD CULLEN* is all I have to say =)

Being that I've been so busy this week, my work outs have suffered. I haven't worked out since Monday, but the plan is to hit the gym tomorrow morning before 4th of July festivities commence. It's supposed to be REALLY hot the next couple of days so I'm hoping to sweat off a pound or two. I've been pretty good with my food this week. I notice that I feel better on the mornings when I make eggs or have toast with peanut butter rather than the days that I just eat a yogurt. I was raised with the concept that if you eat less you lose weight and stay thin and to a point that's true, but I subscribe to the philosophy that eating many small meals throughout the day is a better way to go. However, sometimes I find that I try to convince myself that I can survive on eating less. Those are the days when I just eat a yogurt and skip my morning snack and every time I do that I'm a beast by lunch and I wonder, "WHY didn't I just eat something two hours ago?" Sure, sometimes I get busy and don't have time to eat, but in favor of full disclosure there are times when I just think I can get by on less and that's not really the case.

I got to thinking about emotional eating this week. Some people like to drown their sorrows in a gallon of ice cream while others prefer to steer clear of food when they are feeling upset or stressed. Being a former fat girl you can bet that I am not the type that usually passes on comfort food at emotional moments. It may sound slightly crazy but somehow eating that ice cream or those french fries really do make you feel better. Some people don't necessarily feel guilty when they indulge in their comfort food, but I have to say I do. Okay, maybe not right away, but a little while later I'll say, "Why did I eat that crap? Now I've gotta work even harder to lose what I just ate!" It's a vicious cycle. Does there have to be a consequence for EVERYTHING?

I have such a fear of becoming a fat girl again I think that's probably why I agonize so much. I've seen how I can lose weight and then pack it right back on and then take FOREVER to get rid of it again. I refuse to let that happen. For people who have battled their weight, you understand this is something you have to fight every single day. You can't let up for too long otherwise you find yourself in a really big hole that is really hard to get out of. Life is short it should be enjoyed, but for people like me, you can't get too comfortable otherwise you'll find yourself with the short end of the stick.

There are officially 26 days until I leave for Wildwood and I CAN'T WAIT!! That means that I really have to bare down and make sure over the next 3 weeks I eat as well as I can and get my workouts in so that I'm in beach shape for vacation. It honestly cannot come soon enough.

Special shout out to my cousins Chris & John down in St. Vincent's Island at medical school who take the time to read the "Diary of a Former Fatty Blog". Hope this installment didn't disappoint! Hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend! Next week we kick it into high gear...
Marisa

School's Out For the Summer!!

2010-06-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm officially DONE with school for the summer. Last night I handed in my final so now I have two glorious months to not do school work. Now I can spend my nights watching baseball, working on my book and reading--yes, I know that sounds really lame.

The end of the week was rough, but I was very much looking forward to my Saturday morning workout. Okay, so after seeing myself in a bathing suit, I discovered that my thighs are an issue. I can't always do as many leg exercises as I'd like or at the intensity level I want because of reoccurring knee issues, but I'm just gonna try to grit my teeth and bear it. It was a kettle bell swing, squat and curls, push-ups, crunches and BOXING. I really do love hitting stuff. Some of my friends chalk that up to me having a bit of a rage issue (Ha!) Okay, maybe I do have some rage issues :) It just feels really good to be able to get your frustrations out, plus it's really challenging which I LOVE.

I made a trip into NYC to help my cousin move some stuff out of her apartment. It was insanely hot and humid out so we definitely worked up a good sweat. We decided to treat ourselves to some fro-yo (that's frozen yogurt that tastes like ice cream and is only 100 calories). It's all over NYC so I highly recommend trying it if you are an ice cream fan. It definitely hit the spot. When it's that hot all I want to do is eat ice cream, which obviously is not allowed considering I'm on a mission. But I did have to deviate from my mission slightly...I decided to make cookies and cream ice cream to bring over to my dad's for Sunday dinner. I've mentioned before my Oreo addiction so I've been wanting to make this ice cream for weeks. I found a killer recipe and crossed my fingers hoping for the best. Luckily, the ice cream gods smiled down upon me and according to everyone that ate it, I completely nailed it :) I also have a recipe for a chocolate Oreo ice cream that I'm VERY excited to try next! It really is a problem when you LOVE ice cream this much.

I've been slacking on my breakfasts lately...I haven't been taking the time to make myself eggs and have just been eating a yogurt in the morning and I know I need to up my protein. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating it to be quite honest. Lunch I had turkey on whole grain bread with some lettuce, tomato & mayo. I've been trying to increase my hydration so I've upped my water intake. I had some fruit and a piece of cheese before hitting the gym.

I wrestled with doing just cardio and abs or doing a full heavy lifting work out... I went with the full heavy lifting work out. Even though it was hot in the gym, it felt really great to lift today. I did something I haven't done in a long time.. I flipped a bo-su ball over (it's a half stability ball and then rubber on the bottom that lays flat) I turned it over so the rubber side was up and I stood on it and did curls and shoulder presses. I used to never be able to balance myself and do an exercise so it's rewarding to be able to do it now. I'm not cool enough or coordinated enough to do anything on one foot, but that's next! Dinner was veal chops in a balsamic glaze, string beans, salad, and a little rice pilaf. Ending the night with some Greek yogurt with some mini chocolate chips so I can have my chocolate fix.

Below are some of my recent work out pictures. Definitely planning on working on the arms a little bit more. I have so much respect for chicks with killer arms like Jessica Biel in Blade Trinity. Here's to that happening :)
Marisa

Triceps are on their way!

Reality Bites...

2010-06-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Miami came and went too fast as it always does. We survived the heat, got some relaxation time in, and ate some killer meals. I didn't make it back to the gym, but considering the amount of sweat I produced and the fact that we walked back from dinner two out of the three nights I can't feel too bad. Every time I'm there I really feel so blessed that I have such a beautiful place to go to with so much at my finger tips.

The first day back is always brutal. To kick things off I woke up 45 minutes late this morning. Luckily, I am not one of those girls that takes FOREVER to get ready and was still out of the house by 7:35ish and got to work by 7:50. I choked down a yogurt before I left the house and was so busy all morning that I didn't snack until I remembered I had a Special K bar in my bag. Now, I try to avoid eating them because of the sugar content, but it was that or nothing and by that point my stomach was screaming for some food. For lunch I had some chicken salad over salad and I'm sorry to say a bag of Baked Lays potato chips. Sometimes SALT is just necessary... ladies, you know what I mean. I also had a couple mini oreos, but then I headed to the gym. Lately oreos are my weakness. I have been dying to make a chocolate oreo ice cream. I don't even like cookies and cream but for some reason I can't get the taste of an oreo ice cream out of my mouth.

For dinner I had a cheddar burger (no bun), some string beans, and a few fries. I wanted to eat the whole package of oreos but I decided against that and came up with a semi-compromise. I had some vanilla Greek yogurt with some mini chocolate chips. Not the healthiest choice but not the worst either.

Today I made sure to really push myself. Kettle bell swings, squats with curls, cable pulls, and some core exercises. After seeing myself in a bathing suit I am determined to get my mid section in shape. I took a lot of time to think while I was in Miami and the truth is I may never be one of those girls with a super flat stomach no matter how hard I work. I always imagined I'd have at least a semi-glamourous life. I imagined myself having a really cool career as either an attorney for super star athletes or working for the Yankees, but I'm not doing any of those things. I can recall being told that no one would take an overweight female attorney seriously or that no one would want an overweight woman so visible in a franchise like the Yankees. I guess that kinda stuck with me. Most of my day is spent in what I like to call my cave considering my office is towards the back of the building. I don't hate my job and I know that I'm being groomed for eventually being someone in the business, but I couldn't help but think that it's always been easier for me to hide in the shadows. I've never been the front and center girl and I guess when you're trying to hide your weight you just tend to hide the rest of you as well. I guess the truth is at 25 I'm still not really comfortable with myself. Call me crazy, but that's also the purpose of this blog...figuring out what to fix and trying to fix it.

So in true Fat Girl fashion, here are my most recent bathing suit pics. I already know what I need to fix so I plan on reassessing for next weeks workouts. Saturday I get to box and after a week of missing it I'm sooo excited! Hopefully I'll figure out how to get some shots of my boxing work out. This weekend will be spent on my final for my Healthcare Ethics class and after Sunday I'm off from school until September WOO HOO. Until we meet again...

Marisa

Front view...the abs are coming!

Side view...getting flatter but seriously it's all about my awesome braid in this pic! :)

Welcome to Miami...

2010-06-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

I'm baccck in Miami! It's pretty hard to believe it's been over a year since I've been here to my third home (Wildwood is my 2nd home!) I'm sitting at the kitchen table looking out at the gorgeous bay as the supply ships head towards the marina. It was another scorcher today, but luckily there was a bit of a breeze on the beach. Seeing all these skinny girls on the beach makes me never want to eat again. There were 2 girls next to me today that were probably 90 pounds and as I sat there sweating all I could think about was how I would kill for an ice cream cone. WHY do I have to like food so much?

After one of the BEST meals I've had in quite some time last night at the gorgeous Scarpetta in the Fontaine Bleu hotel (Hats off to chef/owner Scott Conant for his AMAZING menu) I felt insanely guilty for everything I ate. This morning the first thing I did was hit the gym. A little treadmill action followed up by some heavy lifting... kettle bell swings, stability ball jack knives, some pulls on the cable machine and some killer ab machine. Naturally, I was starving when I got back upstairs. If I were in the condo alone I would've scarfed some Greek yogurt and made myself some eggs. However, my dad aka the food police was here so I settled for some Special K and some fresh fruit. My dad gets so crazed about what I'm eating that I find myself sneaking things so I'm not being judged for what I'm eating. Yesterday morning we went food shopping & he was hassling me about making sure the half and half I was getting was fat free. So I was forced to get fat free half and half and I had to hear about why I needed Gingerale. This is why I have learned from a young age how to sneak food... I hate to say it but it's a way of life in my family.

For lunch I had some smoked chicken in a whole grain pita with some honey mustard/mayo and lettuce and tomato which completely hit the spot after being out in the heat for almost 3 hours. Again, I could've totally gone for an ice cream cone, but instead grabbed a water and headed back down to the beach. The ocean felt like bath water which wasn't exactly refreshing from the heat, but it felt better than just laying out in the sun.

There was this guy sitting 2 chairs over from me and my sisters... he lives in the other building here and is definitely a Matthew McConaughey look a like. Slamming beach body and was enjoying the ocean as well as spending time working on his tan. Now here comes my point about being a former fat girl.. Ok, so before I mentioned about the two 90 pound girls... well, they couldn't have been more than 20-21. This Matthew look alike starts to talk to the two sticks sitting next to me. Now, for the sake of being fair he could've been talking to them because they were closer to him but my theory is that he was talking to them because they were petite/cute looking girls. All I could think was that if I was a "thin girl" he might've thought to talk to me rather than those two. Of course I could be completely wrong, but I've seen a good looking guy go for the stick figures too many times in my day to truly believe otherwise.

Tonight we are going to another awesome Italian restaurant for dinner--the sisters that own the restaurant are Bolognese (they come from the same city in Italy that my grandma was born in)... also one of the BEST cooking regions in Italy so needless to say the food will be awesome. Tomorrow I'll feel guilty again and make an effort to hit the gym for some cardio in the morning. I probably won't blog again until I get home which will be Wednesday night. Until we meet again...

Marisa

Running on Empty...

2010-06-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

If I were to say this has been the week from hell I don't think that would do it justice. Aside from being insanely busy at work yesterday was one of those days when EVERYTHING was my fault. That's one of the downfalls of working for your father. I just felt like nothing I was doing was right and I get tired of hearing how I'm the one that constantly needs to readjust my way of being. Thankfully, I have some amazing people in my life that allow me to complain & vent whenever I need to. You know who you are :)

Okay, so like I said...insane schedule this week. I lifted on Monday which was great, but I haven't had the time to fit the gym in any other day this week. And the worst part is today I was out of control hungry. I ate a yogurt for breakfast, chicken club on wheat bread with a little mayo for lunch and then I started thinking about all the things that I wanted to eat like a salami sandwich, an egg and cheese on a roll with ketchup, soft chocolate on a cone, a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. See, that's the problem when you LOVE food. Every item I mentioned is completely different but all deliciously good in their own right. Luckily, I fought the impulse to eat any of that stuff. I ate a piece of cheese and a forkful of rice and peas when I get home. I went and had dinner with my dad...had some turkey, black bean and corn chili followed by a burger (no bun) topped with blue cheese, bacon, and bbq sauce. Sounds weird but when I tell you it's worth trying believe me. Let me also say that I'm normally repulsed by turkey as a substitute for beef or pork but this turkey chili does taste just like beef. I've been trying to add just a little more fat to my diet in hopes of satiating my hunger. Today nothing is working so I've just gotta chalk it up to being a chick. To the ladies reading this blog you know what I'm talking about there are just days when your hormones just make you want to eat certain things and you just can't help it. I have also learned that if you have a craving for something it's better to have it and get it over with rather than let it build up and then pig out on it.

It's slightly after 10, the Yankees are losing so I'm planning on calling it an early night. There is some homework I can be doing but I'm too exhausted to make my brain work much more. I leave for Miami on Saturday...don't have a thing packed. I'm so looking forward to having 4 days of no work. I will do an update from Miami. I always hit the gym there despite how depressing it is to see all those people with their fabulous bodies. Seeing people like that makes me never want to eat again but then all the fabulous Miami restaurants make me remember just why I love food so much. This is what makes it a struggle every single day.

I got a message on facebook from an old friend telling me that I've been slacking on my blogs. It made me feel really good that people ARE actually reading this blog! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I'm sorry for the lack of updates this week... just been swamped with homework and feeling exhausted. I'm gonna try to get some cardio in tomorrow and then get ready for Miami!
Until we meet again...
Marisa

Not Enough Hours In the Day

2010-06-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well the weekend came and went in the blink of an eye and it's the start of another week. There are always so many things I want to get done and there just never is enough time for all of them. I've been writing a book for the past year or so and I wish I could say that it was finished. Life gets in the way & I don't necessarily have the time to sit and write the way that I want...not to mention I'm old school so I hand write everything out before I type it. Perhaps that sounds strange in this age of technology but it's just something I've always done. I have 2 weeks left of my summer class and the amount of work due each week is just ridiculous. So much for it being summer!

Last week I finished strong with a killer work out on Friday. I am determined to get my back into Hilary Swank like shape so I increased the back exercises. I've also been trying to get my lungs into better shape so that I can get through longer boxing combinations. I like to do a set of exercises, box and do it in a continuous cycle. I survived it pretty well this week so I felt like that was a step forward. One of these days I'm gonna figure out how to take pictures of my boxing session. I never thought that I could ever box or that I would love it. It all started out as a joke about me just wanting to hit something and it turned into me absolutely falling in love with it. I am not a coordinated person so trying to get me to throw multiple punches at one time was quite the challenge. We won't even mention my inability to move and throw a punch at the same time (scary stuff). Over time, I started to get the hang of it and now I hate when I miss out on boxing. There's just something exhilarating about being able to get our all your frustrations on a bag.

I took Saturday and Sunday to recoop. Unfortunately, Sunday was my sister's birthday and my other sister's graduation party so needless to say not exactly a good day of eating. I can tell you it all tasted really good but I doubt my hips are happy about it. This morning I woke up late so all I managed to get in was a yogurt...skipped the snack, had a chicken BLT on whole wheat with a little mayo for lunch, fruit for snack and a piece of cheese before heading to the gym.

I was feeling really tired and it was an insane day at work but I managed to get myself to the gym. I had a good circuit and focused on a lot of pulling type exercises today trying to get my back and my core taken care of at the same time. I did some assisted pull-ups...I never thought I'd be able to do a pull up in my life. I can remember being in grammar school and when we had to do the physical fitness tests and doing pull-ups was one of the requirements. What overweight 9 year old girl wants to be tortured trying to do a pull-up? I could barely hold myself up on the bar! So embarrassing! Assisted pull-ups though are pretty cool. I started out having to use like 130lbs of weight as the assist...I'm down to 85lbs now :)

I came home and sauteed some veal, made an asparagus salad with some tomatoes and mozzarella, and a little bit of risotto with some peas for dinner. Had to make my heavy carb be enjoyable. And let me tell you it was mighty tasty. Getting to the gym the rest of the week is going to be tough just because of my schedule, but I'm going to make an attempt. I leave for Miami in 4 days so I'm really trying to behave. Finishing off the night with a Greek yogurt and hopefully getting to sleep before midnight. Below are some of my recent work out pictures. I want to use them for when I get my back where I want it to be as a means of comparison. Until we meet again...signing off...
Marisa

Some 2 handed swings...

Ugly face I'm making but 1 handed rows are awesome!

Working those muscles! (Trying to!)

The Looking Glass...

2010-06-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

While I was at the gym Tuesday, I got to thinking about how self-conscious I really am. It kind of goes with the territory... when you're over weight so all you do is cover yourself up. You feel like you always have to hide your imperfections. This example may seem dumb to any of the guys reading this blog, but the ladies will know exactly what I'm talking about... When I work out I always wear a "long" sports bra/work out shirt whatever you want to call it. I'm just not comfortable bearing my whole stomach when I'm working out. Well, by some stroke of bad luck, I forgot to pack my long shirt and was left with only a sports bra...AKA I had to work out with my stomach bared. At first, I was mortified. How was I going to go into the gym like that? It sounds crazy but when you're insecure about something you just feel like everyone is going to be staring at what you don't want them to see. After much debating, I decided it wasn't a big deal and I needed to just get over it. It actually gave me a lot of perspective about how far I've come. Yes, I'm not where I want to be but I'm not where I used to be either. Getting to see myself that way made me feel really proud for how far I've come.

Okay, reflection aside...now to the important stuff. Tuesday was my heavy lifting day. I like to work out in small circuits....basically I group together a bunch of different exercises and do them in a row as one set and then I take a break. Kettle bells are my best friends in the gym. I use them for just about everything and I find them to be a lot more challenging than just free weights. I've upped the amount on my weights which is causing the extra soreness but it's worth it. I really want to start working on my back...my inspiration is Hilary Swank from her role in "Million Dollar Baby". Okay, maybe not quite as sculpted as Hilary's but something along those lines. I can see more definition in my arms and abs so I guess it really is paying off.

Made chicken for dinner along with some left over pasta (my big carb treat) and some vegetables. Ended the night with a greek yogurt topped with strawberries. Wednesday was my long day so I tried to keep my eating on target since I knew I wouldn't have time to work out. Eggs for breakfast along with a yogurt for that extra bang of protein, chicken salad over tossed salad for lunch, fruit for snack, and surprise surprise chicken for dinner. I did cheat a little with a sliver of pound cake...My aunt's pound cake is kind of unavoidable. Ended the night with some fresh fruit.

Today I managed some cardio which I had to force myself into. I got out of work late and I just wanted to go right home, but I dragged myself to the gym anyway. I wish I liked cardio, but I just can't get excited about it...it just seems like you get no where... you run on a treadmill and after ten minutes you're still in the same place. Food was good today...whole grain English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast with a yogurt, chicken and salad for lunch, fruit for snack and a burger (no bun) with some cheese along with veggies for dinner. I think I'll finish things off with a yogurt or maybe some melon. Tomorrow is Friday (YAY!) and my big work out which I'm looking forward to. Anytime I get to box aka hit stuff I'm a happy girl.

Since I promised pictures no matter how embarrassing check out the picture from about 5 years ago to now. Until next time...
Marisa

I Don't Like Mondays...

2010-06-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

Mondays are absolutely brutal. I woke up feeling the soreness from yesterday's work out. I always take that as a good sign but it doesn't feel too good. I was determined to up my protein intake so I started the day off with some eggs and a Greek yogurt. Lunch was some chicken and salad followed by some fruit later in the day.

Today was cardio day, my least favorite day of working out. I just can't get excited about running on a treadmill or being on an elliptical. Still, it had to be done. I usually barely make it through 15 minutes of cardio mostly because I'm bored but today I pushed myself to 22 minutes between the treadmill and elliptical. I've been dealing with a little bit of a knee issue so that has kind of been limiting the amount of incline I've been doing. My breathing was a lot better than it's been so I was happy about that. For anyone who has been over weight before, running is the bane of our existence. When we used to have run the "Mile" in gym I used to seriously want to cry. A mile seemed like an eternity of running and I could never handle it. I would almost always finish last or close to it and I hated the feeling of my lungs burning. It wasn't until I was 15 that someone pointed out to me that I was running on my toes rather than my heels which was putting more pressure on my shins/knees. I'd like to think if that had been pointed out to me sooner maybe it wouldn't have been so bad...maybe. I still get the lung burning feeling but it's not nearly as bad. I guess that's something to be glad about.

After the cardio and some stretching I did a light ab routine. I head to Florida in 2 weeks so I'm really trying to behave myself. Tonight for dinner I made steak, asparagus salad and eggplant caponata (sauteed eggplant in a tomato sauce). There are always so many things I want to make. I think that's what makes "being good" even harder. I've been having a craving for pie so I started thinking about the kinds of pies I could make...but then I reminded myself Miami is just 2 weeks away. Finished the night off with some fruit instead of the cookies and cream ice cream that has been calling to me from the freezer. Tomorrow is my big lifting day which means I get to eat some heavy carbs at dinner... YAY! It's sad when the thought of eating carbs makes me that happy. Time for some sleep...until tomorrow...
Marisa

Working It Out...

2010-06-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well it's no secret that I've had the hunger of a teenage boy the past few weeks and it's been driving me crazy. When you battle your weight something like constant hunger makes you worry. After my awesome day in NYC yesterday, I planned on making up for it today.

For breakfast I had some cantaloupe and two egg whites and one egg scrambled with some cheese. I washed it down with some coffee and then got ready for my work out. Today was my serious work out day & my favorite of all because it was a boxing day. In an effort to step up my calorie burn, it was a combination of weight lifting and boxing. If you've never boxed before it kills your lungs no other. If you don't learn to put your whole body into a punch your arms will feel like someone gave you a dead arm. Needless to say by the time I was done I was a sweaty mess and exhausted. But I had to drive up to my aunt's house to get all the stuff out of my car from my cousin's apartment. In this gross humidity my cousin and I took all her stuff out of my car and into the house and up to her room. Dripping with sweat seems to be a state of being these days. She told me I should be happy her stuff was giving me a second work out. I guess I gotta give her that one.

In an effort to deal with my insane hunger, I was advised to up my protein in take and add a little more fat to my eating. I wish I liked those protein drinks..I've tried about 3 different types but they all make me gag. I've been told to try them with some fruit so I may have to venture down that road again. In the mean time I will be eating more eggs and chicken. I didn't think it was possible to eat more chicken but I guess I'll find out. Lunch was a chicken club on whole wheat with a little bit of mayo. For dinner I made pasta with sausage, peas and some mozzarella. When you're Italian having pasta on a Sunday is an unspoken rule. Having the sausage in it definitely held my hunger longer than usual. I finished off the night with a Greek yogurt. Tomorrow is a cardio day... my least favorite part about working out. Below are some pictures from my work out today. I used to not be able to hold myself up on a stability ball and do a push up at the same time but now I can which is a pretty big deal. Doing a push up like this really makes you use your core and I'm all for any exercise that forces me to make my core work even though it's usually hard as hell. I like a challenge.

Well, until tomorrow and my dreadful cardio work out!
Marisa

The Heat Is On...

2010-06-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

The past several days we've been going through a heat wave. It wouldn't be so bad except that there's this lingering humidity in the air that makes you feel like everything is sticking to you. Needless to say, when it's this hot out working out is not at the top of my list.

Thursday was my off day and Friday I planned on going to the gym for some cardio. However, given the heat/humidity and how hot the gym has been this past week I opted to go home and start cooking since I had to get to my sister's graduation by 7:30. Another long day so by time I got home I was beat.

Let me start by saying that today was not about watching what I was eating. There just are going to be days like that and the sooner you accept that eating well and taking care of yourself is a lifestyle choice rather than some "diet", the sooner you realize you are going to have "cheat days".

Today was a really fun day. My cousin has been living on the Upper East Side in NYC for the past 2 years going to grad school. This is her last month there so she's trying to accomplish things she had on her list of NYC things to do. Two of the things on her list were to have brunch at Sara Beth's Kitchen and go for pedicures at the Dashing Diva. She had been asking me to go in so I decided to go in for brunch and pedicures and also to help her move some stuff out of the apartment.

By 11 am it was already close to 90 degrees out which meant it felt like 100 in the city. We took a cab to Sara Beth's because it's too far of a walk on a day like today. There was a half hour wait so we walked up a couple blocks to a street fair and perused tables of books. Even though we only walked maybe 3 blocks in that heat it felt like a lot more. The sweat just drips off of you in no time and we decided right then that we would be eating INSIDE the restaurant rather than at an outdoor table.

Brunch was AMAZING. We split a spinach & goat cheese omelette & lemon/ricotta pancakes...may sound weird but don't knock it until you try it. So light and fluffy they really just melted in your mouth. We topped it off with Orange Flower/Pomegranate/Banana Mimosa. From there we walked 9 blocks and one avenue over to the Dashing Diva. By the time we got in there I felt like I had partially melted. The pedicure totally made up for that. They seat you on these couches and give you a menu of all their services and I have to say not only was it the most luxurious pedicure I've ever had it was also just really nice sitting there. Everyone was very pleasant and it was definitely a really cool experience even though I should've went with my gut and gotten a DARK color on my toes :)

Back in the cab we went and headed over to the other side of town where we hit up a fruit stand and Tasty D'Lite. The fruit stands are ALL over the city. There is just something about being able to pick your fruit from a stand that some how makes it seem better (AND it's cheaper!). We stopped into Tasty D'Lite for some froyo (it's soft serve frozen yogurt with the consistency of soft ice cream & it only has 100 calories). Definitely the perfect treat on such a hot day. Our last stop of the day was to Agata & Valentina...an AMAZING Italian market on the Upper East Side. We made a few quick purchases and walked back 6 blocks to my cousin's apartment. A store like that is KILLER to someone who likes to cook and eat. I had to remind myself that I'm on a mission for a slammin beach body & I couldn't just buy everything I wanted. The paranoia that settles in is ridiculous, but it's there none the less. You start thinking "Okay, so I'll eat this just this once, and then it tastes SO good that you figure okay if I eat it another time it's not a big deal and then you just keep on eating it and before you know it you're having trouble getting into that cute summer dress you've been dying to wear. At least I felt satisfied that we did so much walking so I didn't feel guilty about not making it to the gym. On top of all the walking I helped my cousin move some of the stuff out of her apartment and into my car which also added to the melting feeling.

Once I got home the only thing on my mind was a shower and to figure out what I was cooking for dinner. The heat really can take effect on you in strange ways. I opened the fridge and NOTHING was appealing to me. I knew for certain I didn't want to be standing in front of my grill, but there was nothing else that I really wanted to make. After an hour long debate, mom and I decided on some chicken club sandwiches. I fried up some bacon and we had a sandwich and a half each of chicken breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato and a little mayo on whole wheat toast. I have to be honest, it completely hit the spot. It was refreshing and very tasty. I'm about ready to crash so I'm thinking of finishing things off with this new brand of Greek yogurt I picked up in the city. Tomorrow morning I've got a work out scheduled (BOXING DAY LOVE IT!) and then I'll be spending the rest of the day cooking/doing homework. I'll definitely be stepping it up in the work out tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll have some more recent pictures to post so I can compare them to ones I plan on taking in a few weeks. Until tomorrow...
Marisa

Long Day's Journey Into Night

2010-06-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

For most people, Wednesday is hump day... the middle of the week and one more day closer to the weekend. For me, Wednesdays are my longest day of the week. I usually leave the house around 730am, work from 745 until about 430, head to my dad's for dinner, drop my grandma off at home and end up back home usually before 8 pm. Needless to say by the time I get home, I don't want to do anything.

This morning I was out of bed before 6:30, which is never easy, but I was determined to make myself eggs to go along with my breakfast. Tuesday was my heavy lifting program and usually the day after that I am STARVING. Without fail, this morning when I woke up I was feeling the hunger so I had 2 egg whites and 1 egg scrambled with some cheese and a Greek yogurt. I figured that would hold me over, but alas, by 930 my stomach was screaming for food again. I managed to back away from the 2 boxes of munchkins that the pharmaceutical reps brought in, and only had a half of a corn muffin I made. For lunch I had some left over chicken, sausage and peppers that I made for dinner the other night. I steered away from the potatoes at the bottom of the tupper ware in an effort to try and eat less carbs. Why are carbs SO good & so damaging at the same time? If broccoli were a carb, there would be far less people on carb free diets. I am completely fine admitting that I am a carb addict... give me a potato, pasta, rice or bread and I'm a happy girl. Of course those things don't agree with my hips so I try to avoid it when possible.

Dinner was some London broil, salad, and corn on the cob. I did have a few fries (My dad has this awesome potato cutter that makes McDonald-like-fries...pretty hard to pass up.) The meal was made complete by a glass of red wine. I am not one of those people that believes in completely cutting out alcohol. Being Italian means learning to have a love for wine so wine is almost as important as food is in my family. I thoroughly enjoy a glass or two of wine with dinner and that's not something I'm willing to give up so if that means a few extra minutes of the treadmill or some extra crunches I'm okay with that.

I got home a little before 8 and did a quick ab work out. I have become slightly obsessive over my abs. It's almost bathing suit season and I don't know about everyone else but it feels like you are more on display in a bathing suit than in regular clothes and you feel like everyone can see EVERY fat roll and every ounce of cellulite you have on your body. I always hated wearing a two piece because it wasn't exactly flattering...now I feel a little bit better about it but I definitely feel slightly paranoid that everyone is looking at my mid section come summer time. There wasn't time for a full work out by the time I got home so the least I could do was get in an ab work out. I'm ending my night with some Greek yogurt even though I'd rather dive into the pint of Cookies and Cream in the freezer... Tomorrow is my give the body a rest day so that I can actually feel my body by Friday. Bed time absolutely beat so until next time...
Marisa

Then & Now

2010-06-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd try something a little bit different for my blog. I got to thinking the other day that the thing that I struggle with the most as well as so many other people is managing my weight. This blog is called "The Diary of a Former Fat Girl" because I was for most of my life a "fat girl". This isn't one of those situations where I deluded myself into believing I was fat because I was. I'm the type of person that calls a spade a spade so yes, I was fat. That's not to say I was obese, but I was always trying to lose weight.

When I was 11, I managed to drop 25 pounds & I kept it off for a few years, but then I got into high school & it all went down hill. I spent most of high school & college trying to lose the weight that I had put back on, but for one reason or another I got lazy and never dedicated myself to the cause the way I needed to. I LOVE food. I like cooking it and eating it. I'm Italian, it's kind of in my blood and my family almost centers around food. There is always something not on the diet laying around and it's always so appealing that it's hard to pass by. If you're Italian I don't even have to explain what I mean about there ALWAYS being delicious food around. Someone is always trying to get you to eat something and after awhile you just give in. It wasn't that I didn't exercise either. I belonged to a gym, I had trainers but I just couldn't dedicate myself the way I really needed to.

A year after I graduated college, I became so disgusted with how I looked and how I felt that I decided to really dedicate myself to eating well and working out. At first, it was pretty awful. Every muscle in my body hurt and I thought I was going to turn into a piece of poultry from all the chicken I was eating. Slowly, it started to pay off and I started to drop weight. In just 6 months I was down almost 30 pounds and was on a mission to keep my figure. I'm tempted all the time to forget about my salad and just eat the salami sandwich. I have a HUGE weakness for ice cream so I know all about wanting to lose yourself in a pint of Hagen Daaz. There are times when I have to talk myself out of reaching for the cookies in the cabinet...I wish I could say that was a lie but there would be no point in lying.

Okay, so that's my back story. The purpose of this blog is to show where I started, where I'm at and where I hope to go. For those of you out there that struggle with your weight (especially the ladies) you will understand the daily battle you have to have with yourself. For the past 6 weeks I have increased my mission to get a slammin beach body for the summer. This blog will document my progress and hopefully encourage other people as well as make them laugh as they go about their daily battle with trying to keep off the weight... So while this may be slightly embarrassing to put myself out there here it is for you to see...

This is at the start of 2007

This is the start of 2010 more than 30 pounds less
Stay tuned for daily updates & progress pictures as I aim to get the body I'm after. Until next time...
Marisa

How A Trip to A Pool Hall in February Changed the Yankees' Season

2009-09-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

2008 marked Joe Girardi's first year at the helm of the Yankees' ship. After his first year in spring training, Girardi was viewed as somewhat of a drill sergeant with his emphasis on drills, and making sure that all his players were in top shape before leaving camp.

After missing the playoffs for the first time since 1995, the Yankees decided to try and return to some of the ways that helped them win four championships over fiver years in the late 90's. They spent the off season signing some high end starting pitching as well as some other key players to improve their team.

The new and improved team had a new goal coming out of spring training. Girardi sought to inspire more than just physical fitness, but team unity. He made his team take a break from their workouts, and put together a field trip to a pool hall in Tampa. It was an opportunity for the new guys to get familiar with their teammates, and get away from baseball before the long season started.

It's highly unlikely that Girardi could have anticipated just how well his players would get along, but there is no question that the field trip to the pool hall helped cement a good sense of team unity.

While the Yankees have had their share of ups and downs this season, they have rarely looked like a team that didn't think they could over come whatever odds were thrown at them. No matter what the deficit, they always have the look that they feel like they're going to come back and win the game, and usually they do.

Of course success is built on a lot of different variables. Everything has to be clicking at the right time in order for a team to be successful, but the difference between this Yankee team and teams of the recent past, is that while a player or two might go through a bit of a slump, there are a number of players that are on the right track. One player isn't trying to carry the whole team, and therefore no one is getting burnt out.

A lot of the team's success also has to do with the fact that the players on the Yankees genuinely like each other. That doesn't mean that everyone gets along with everyone all the time. I'm sure some guys like some players more than others, but there is still that sense of unity that hasn't existed since the late 90's.

There will be those who will argue that team chemistry is not an important factor for a team to be successful, and that is most likely true. The championship Oakland A's teams of the 70's were known for their fighting with each other, and the '77-'78 Yankees weren't called the 'Bronx Zoo' for nothing. Those teams were successful, and they certainly weren't all going out and eating dinner together, but it seems that when that sense of togetherness exists on a team, there is a greater chance for big things to happen.

The Yankees have posted thirteen walk-off wins this season, and with each win, they make it look like it's their first. Guys jumping out of the dugout and rushing to home plate to greet the player responsible for the winning run, the tossing of the batting helmet in the air, and of course the pie in the face courtesy of A.J. Burnett have all become customary in the Bronx.

There is also "Kangaroo Court" that has been in session twice so far this season, where Mariano Rivera resides as the judge and various players are fined for "crimes". A "crime" can consist of showing up late for practice, not wearing a shirt during an interview, or giving up a hit in a game.

Some people may view something like "Kangaroo Court" or the Yankees' players bonding as unnecessary details in order for them to win in October. There is no doubt that to make it in the playoffs, the Yankees have to pitch will and hit when it counts, but there is also something really nice about seeing a team that genuinely likes each other.

Perhaps Girardi sensed that was the final piece of the puzzle. For years, the Yankees have had talented players on their teams, but they haven't been able to take that talent and translate it into a championship.

If the Yankees are able to go all the way, there are going to be a lot of reasons why they were able to do so. However, one of the reasons that will undoubtedly be overlooked, is the day that Joe Girardi brought his team together for an afternoon at a pool hall. That day helped spark something the Yankees have been missing for a long time; team unity and appreciation for every guy on the roster to get the job done.

How Will the Yankees Regain Their Championship Form This October?

2009-08-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

Throughout the 90's, the Yankees ruled October baseball amassing four championships in five years. However, they haven't been to the World Series since 2003, and they haven't made it past the ALDS since 2004.

Despite their efforts to bolster their team to return to postseason glory, the Yankees have fallen short in 2005, 2006, and 2007. 2008 was the first time that the Yankees weren't in the playoffs since '94.

Falling short is what made Brian Cashman step up his efforts in the offseason this year. Cashman's goal was to sign some legitimate pitching, have a solid bench, and have someone who could actually play first base.

He landed free agent aces CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, he traded for 1B/OF Nick Swisher, and he signed free agent Mark Teixeira, the switch hitting first baseman who can actually throw and catch the ball.

As most seasons go, injuries happened, people under performed, and the plan that Cashman and the Yankees had envisioned for returning to October baseball seemed like it might not happen.

The bullpen couldn't hold a lead that the starters had struggled to keep, nor could they get the ball to Mariano Rivera. The big aces, Sabathia and Burnett, weren't living up to their hype, Wang was a mess mentally and physically, and Joba Chamberlain could barely get through four innings every time out.

The lineup was struggling without Alex Rodriguez for the first month or so, and the depth that the Yankees thought they would have was relatively nonexistent.

And then, things took a turn for the better. The rotation got its act together, and Sabathia and Burnett started pitching up to expectations. The bullpen got turned over and Alfredo Aceves, Phil Coke, and Phil Hughes started shutting down opposing hitters, and turning the ball over to Rivera with great ease.

Alex Rodriguez returned to the lineup which ignited Mark Teixeira and the rest of the Yankee hitters. The Yankees started scoring runs, and put the fear back in opposing pitchers.

More than any of that, the Yankees started to show something that fans haven't seen since the championship years... team chemistry and unity. From Kangaroo Court to the pie in the face after walk off wins, the Yankees look like a team that genuinely enjoys playing baseball together. That may seem like an unimportant aspect, but it has made a huge difference for the Yankees this season.

If the Yankees want to return to October glory they need to keep with all the things that have earned them the best record in baseball.

The pitching staff needs to keep the Yankees in the game. Good pitching is usually the key to teams prevailing in the playoffs, and the Yankees have been without it for some time. Now that they finally have some, they really have a chance to go the distance.

The offense needs to not drop off the face of the earth. They have to manufacture runs when possible and realize that the long ball isn't going to win them a championship.

The years that the Yankees won their championships, they did so not only with home runs, but with bunts, hit and runs, base stealing, and clutch hitting. Those things really matter come October, and the Yankees need to keep them in mind if they want to win.

The team finally has a decent bench to call on. Brett Gardner should be returning from his thumb injury within a week or so, and with him in the lineup, he can steal bases and provide a spark the Yankees may need late in a game.

Not to mention, they have Eric Hinske and Jerry Hairston Jr, whom Cashman traded for in July. They can play a multitude of positions and provide a little pop with their bats. Girardi is going to need to utilize these players correctly, but the fact that he has them at his disposal makes the Yankees that much more of a threat.

The bullpen needs to keep doing what they've been doing since June. Aceves, Coke, Robertson, and Hughes have been pretty much lights out. Bruney has flashes of brilliance and then deflates. If he's not cutting it come October, Girardi is going to have to stick to the guys that are able to get the ball to Mariano, and if Bruney can't be effective he's going to have to deal with sitting on the bench.

For the first time in years, the Yankees have a well put together team that can fend off opponents in a variety of ways. They have a real chance to return to post season glory, and everyone around baseball knows it.

There is no doubt that the Yankees and their fans were starting to wonder if we'd ever see the semblance of a championship team, and it looks like we might finally have one.

Innings Limit Will Land Joba Back in the Bullpen

2009-07-29T17:13:00.001-07:00

Organizations are all about protecting their young arms. They heavily monitor pitch counts and usually set an innings limit so that there is less chance of them over working their prized arms.

Joba Chamberlain is considered to be a future No. 1 starter for the Yankees, which is why the team has been so careful with him. He went from being a starter in the minors to a reliever, to limit the number of innings he was throwing.

The following season, Chamberlain was being stretched out in the bullpen to be converted back to a starter. By going about it in that manner, Chamberlain's innings total wasn't as high as if he had started the season in the rotation.

Despite their best efforts not to overwork Joba, he ended up on the DL last August with a tired shoulder. Maybe he really wasn't cut out to throw 200 plus innings in a season?

Chamberlain started the 2009 season in the starting rotation, and for the majority of his starts, he hasn't lasted past the fifth inning. As a result, his innings total is not as high as it would have been if he had been able to go deeper into his starts.

Still, the Yankees have Chamberlain on a tight leash, and have his total number of innings for 2009 around 160. That total is what's going to end up taking him out of the rotation, and land him back in the bullpen.

With Chien-Ming Wang likely lost for the rest of the season, the Yankees need to fill his spot. As of this moment, Sergio Mitre has been filling in for Wang, but if Chamberlain is taken out of the rotation, the Yankees are going to have to try to find someone to fill his spot as well.

There's nothing wrong with organizations trying to protect their young pitchers from injury, but does the constant switch from starter to reliever and vice versa help or hurt them?

Some players aren't able to make the transition from starter to reliever or the other way around. A lot of the time, these young pitchers aren't taken out of a role because the organization feels that they would be better suited doing something else, but because of keeping the innings total down.

Chamberlain was great as a reliever, and one of the best set-up men Mariano Rivera has had in years, but he has also had success as a starter. While it's clear that he can succeed in both roles, all this back and forth seems unnecessary.

Being cautious is one thing, but perhaps being too careful is also a detriment to the team. If the Yankees put Joba in the bullpen for the sake of his innings total, they are going to be down another starter, which would put them in a worse position.

Nobody Does Tradition Like the Yankees:Old Timers' Day Still a Hit

2009-07-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

When it comes to traditions in baseball, no other organization is as well-known for their way of keeping with traditions like the Yankees.

Some of the greatest players in the game have worn a Yankee uniform at one time or another, and it is because of the reputation the Yankees have for bringing the best to the Bronx that past and present players have said that donning the Yankee pinstripes is like nothing else.

One of the greatest traditions the Yankees have is Old Timers' Day. Yankee greats of the past gather where they are greeted with loud applause from the fans who remember what they did in their day or who have heard all the stories. The former players are split into two teams, and they play a short game.

No team could hold an Old Timers' Day and have the likes of Whitey Ford, Reggie Jackson, Goose Gossage, Ron Guidry, Yogi Berra and countless others on the same field.

John Sterling and Michael Kay shared the MCing duties, and it's pretty remarkable when they read the list of accomplishments of the Old Timers. At today's celebration there were four Hall of Famers on hand (Yogi Berra, Whitey Ford, Goose Gossage, and Reggie Jackson). Not to mention two pitchers who pitched perfect games and one who pitched a no-hitter during their time in pinstripes (Don Larsen, David Cone, and Doc Gooden).

Beyond their personal accomplishments, once the cameras panned to the dugout, it was clear to see why they all love coming back for this particular tradition. These guys really enjoy being around each other.They love talking about their glory days and swapping stories about their experiences while playing for the Yankees.

Just because these guys have officially hung up their cleats, it doesn't mean that they've stashed their competitiveness away. They are out to have a good time, but they also want to prove they still have it, which is why Ron Guidry threw Lee Mazzilli a slider to strike him out instead of giving him something to hit.

At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter who wins the game, they are all Yankees, and will forever be a part of the organizations' great history. Each year brings new faces to the celebration, and this year, for the first time ever Old Timers' Day wasn't played at 161st Street and River Ave, but at the new stadium across the street.

The faces may change, the location may change, but what will never change is the way the Yankees' honor those who have meant the most to their organization and to their fans. Sometimes tradition is severely overlooked especially in these current times, but Old Timers' Day gives fans as well as players a chance to remember those who were a part of something special.

You really have to appreciate the past in order to appreciate the present as well as what's to come. Without traditions such as this, things and people tend to be forgotten, and seeing all of those players out on the field today is a strong reminder as to why those things and those people should never be forgotten.

The Fate of Phil Hughes: Will the Yankees Make the Same Mistake Twice?

2009-07-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Three years ago, the Yankees were all a buzz about one of their farm hands named Phil Hughes. Hughes was drafted out of high school, and was considered to be the future of the Yankees' starting rotation.

Hughes got his call up to the big leagues, and had flashes of brilliance, but ended up going through some growing pains and battled some injuries the past two seasons.

At the start of this season, Hughes began his season in Scranton as the Yankees had a fully stocked rotation with newbies CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett as well as Andy Pettitte and Chien Ming Wang with Joba Chamberlain filling in the fifth spot.

However, Wang was on the DL after just three starts, and the bullpen was a living nightmare. Hughes was called up to fill Wang's spot for at least a two-week time period, and went 3-2 in seven starts with a 6.59 ERA.

While those numbers are less than stellar, at the start of the season it seemed that every Yankee pitcher had an inflated ERA. Wang returned in June, and Hughes was moved to the bullpen. The Yankees figured they could keep Hughes' inning total down if he came out of the pen rather than go down to Triple A.

It seemed like once again the Yankees were taking a pitcher that they planned to be the future of their starting rotation and putting him in the bullpen (i.e. Joba Chamberlain).

Chamberlain was masterful as Mariano's set-up man, dazzling radar guns with fastballs that reached sometimes 99 m.p.h. and keeping hitters off balance with a nasty 87 m.p.h change up.

The Yankees were determined to make Joba into a starter and used the 2008 season to stretch him out enough so that he would be able to go back to starting. Joba's had mixed success as a starting pitcher. There are some nights that he looks amazing, like the night he struck out 12 Red Sox hitters, but more often than not he can't make it out of the fifth inning.

Hughes has made the most out of his time in the bullpen lowering his ERA from 6.59 to 3.76. Against the Tigers on July 17, Hughes' fastball topped out at 96 m.p.h., and in two innings of work, he didn't surrender a run. He has easily been one of the Yankees' most reliable relievers.

So now, the question arises yet again... does Hughes stay in the bullpen where he's had so much success or does he get put back into the fold to be a starter?

Brian Cashman has already said that the organization sees Hughes as a starting pitcher, and the only reason he's in the bullpen is because of his innings limit and to fill in due to the various injuries.

Last season, the Yankees felt as if they had stretched out Joba Chamberlain enough before re-inserting him into the starting rotation, but lost him to the DL in August with shoulder soreness.

Some people thought that after over a year of coming out of the bullpen, trying to push Chamberlain to throw 80 or even 90 plus pitches was too much for his arm. The argument is that Chamberlain has the make-up of a starting pitcher with at least four different pitches in his arsenal, and keeping him in the bullpen would almost be a waste.

Then again, there is the argument that the Yankee bullpen would be a lot stronger with Chamberlain setting up for Rivera based on the numbers he put up as a set up man. The argument could be the same for Hughes.

He has the make-up of a starter, but at times has showed that like Chamberlain, he has difficulty being economic with his pitch count, resulting in him not lasting past the fifth inning. A starter is supposed to be durable enough that they can pitch six or seven innings per start, not barely make it to the fifth inning.

The Yankees are going to need to do some serious thinking where Phil Hughes is concerned. Keeping him in the bullpen might be what's really best for the team, instead of trying to push him into the rotation because that's where they initially said he belonged.

It just might be better for the Yankees to say they were wrong in this particular case, and not try and make Hughes into a starter at this point. He's helping the team win games and having great success as a reliever, so why mess with a good thing?

Mariano Rivera started out in the organization as a starter and got moved to the bullpen for one reason or another. It's a safe bet that no one in the Yankee organization regrets leaving Mo in the bullpen, and Hughes has a shot at being really successful in his current role if the Yankees would leave well enough alone.

The Magic of the Home Run Derby

2009-07-13T20:49:00.001-07:00

Each year, when the All-Star break comes around, a lot of fans take the time to catch up on the TV that they miss during the baseball season. There are also a lot of fans who enjoy the majority of the All-Star festivities from the Home Run Derby, to the Celebrity Softball game, to the All-Star game itself.

Over the past several years, the Home Run Derby has probably ranked last on my list when it comes to the All-Star break. Sure, you get to watch guys hit monster home runs, but a lot of the time you see guys try too hard, and their time is up before they've even had a chance to dazzle the crowd with their home run prowess.

I always enjoyed watching the players interacting with each other on the field while there was someone hitting, or seeing the players' kids in miniature replicas of their fathers' jerseys on the sidelines more than watching them hit home runs.

However, last year I got completely sucked into the Derby. Maybe it was because it was taking place at Yankee Stadium, or because there was so much hype surrounding the Rangers' outfielder named Josh Hamilton.

Josh Hamilton's story had been spread around baseball like wildfire in 2008. He was a great prospect when he was drafted, and was thought to have a lot of promise as he worked his way up.

Hamilton ended up going down the road of drugs and alcohol, and was out of baseball quicker than he made it up to the big leagues. Yet, somehow he was able to pull himself out of that black hole, and find his way back to baseball.

Hamilton had an incredible start to 2008, lighting up pitchers all around the league. He earned a starting spot on the AL roster for the All-Star game, and was more than happy to compete in the Home Run Derby.

He was one of the last guys to hit in the Derby, but it quickly became a case of saving the best for last. For almost 45 minutes, Hamilton hit balls into the deepest parts of Yankee Stadium racking up a record breaking 28 home runs in the first round.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the TV; it's always impressive to see a player hit the ball over 500 feet, but what Hamilton was doing was much more than just hitting balls out of the park. It was like magic every time he swung his bat, and all of the All-Stars sitting on the field as spectators watched in complete awe as Hamilton advanced to the final round of the Derby.

One of the major flaws in the Derby is that once a player qualifies for the second round, their total from the first and second round get combined, and their total propels them into the third round. However, once they reach the final round, the slate is wiped clean and both players start at zero.

Hamilton ended up going against the Twins' slugger Justin Morneau, and while his total was higher in both rounds, Morneau ended up winning the Derby because he hit more in the third round.

It would seem that the person with the most home runs overall should win the Derby, but either way that night was all about Hamilton and how he managed to fight his way to the top.

For once, watching the Home Run Derby was about so much more than just taking up TV time during the All-Star break. There will probably never be another Home Run Derby like it, but like tonight, I'll keep watching, because you can never be sure just when that bit of magic will come along and dazzle you in ways that you never thought possible.

70 Years Later, Lou Gehrig's Farewell Speech Still Resonates

2009-07-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

70 years ago, a man stood on the field at Yankee Stadium and told the world that he was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. That man was dying, but no one knew it.

He told them that he was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. He spoke about the great teammates and managers he played with, how blessed he felt for the family he had, and how good the game of baseball had been to him.

That man was Lou Gehrig, and on July 4, 1939, the man more commonly known as "The Iron Horse," had to walk away from baseball.

He'd been suffering with what is now known as ALS; a disease that causes muscles to twitch and eventually paralyze the individual. Something as simple as combing one's hair becomes impossible; forget about playing baseball.

Gehrig never once mentioned all the pain he'd been in or the fact that he couldn't even lace up his own cleats. Doing that would have been giving into the disease, and Lou Gehrig was too much of a fighter to do that.

For years, Gehrig had protected Babe Ruth in the Yankees' line up. He had taken a backseat to the Great Bambino, but never made a fuss about it. He was a team player, who went out and did his job every day.

It wasn't as if Gehrig was just an average player. It was somewhat unfortunate for him to be on the Yankees at the same time as Babe Ruth, because if Ruth wasn't there, Gehrig would've been noticed a lot more than he was.

He won two MVPs, and six World Series championships with the Yankees. However, Gehrig's most impressive stat is probably his 2,130 consecutive game streak, a record that wasn't broken until 1995 by Cal Ripken Jr.

Gehrig's "Farewell Speech" is one of the most recognizable speeches not only in sports, but in history. He had nothing prepared before he got up to the microphones, he simply spoke from his heart.

What makes his speech so compelling is that he praised everyone from Miller Huggins, to his family, to the grounds crew, because somehow they made his career.

He ended his speech by saying, "I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for." If that doesn't give you chills or bring a tear to your eye, I don't know what will. Two years later, he was gone.

70 years later, Major League Baseball is honoring Gehrig and raising awareness for the disease that now bears his name. Gehrig meant so much to baseball, but his impact goes beyond the game, it extends out all over the world.

Lou Gehrig was a great baseball player, but the words written on his monument really say it all about who he was... "A great man, a great teammate, and a great baseball player."

He's honored today more for being a great man and teammate than anything else.

The Yankees Give a High School Softball Team Something To Smile About

2009-07-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday night, the damp crowd at Yankee Stadium was eagerly waiting for the start of the game after a 50 minute rain delay.

Michael Kay, Paul O'Neill, and Ken Singleton were announcing the game for the YES network, and as they were talking, the camera shots seemed to be avoiding shots of the field. Kay eluded that the Yankees had something special planned for the first pitch.

To honor Mariano Rivera for notching his 500th career save the other night against the Mets, the closer was going to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. The crowd roared with delight and the inconvenience of the rain delay and being soaked by the downpour was erased.

Mo threw his pitch like he does on most nights to Jorge Posada, and after a hug from his catcher, Rivera waved and headed off the field.

As nice as that tribute to Rivera was, what happened before Rivera threw the first pitch was pretty special in its own right.

A couple of weeks ago, the Westhill High School softball team from Fairfield County, Connecticut was playing in the state tournament when they fell victim to a technicality that led to them being eliminated from the tournament.

Yankees' GM Brian Cashman, who happens to be a resident of Fairfield County, got wind of the girls' situation. He and several other Yankee officials live in the area, and decided to pull some strings for the team.

Westhill's athletic director, Mike King received a call that the Yankees wanted to invite the softball team out to the stadium to take the field with the players for the National Anthem.

King thought someone was playing a prank on him, but it turned out to be the truth. The team was going to go to the stadium on June 18, but a five-hour rain delay pushed back the team's visit to the Bronx.

Last night, after only a 50-minute rain delay, the Yankees took the field accompanied by the Westhill softball team at their respective positions for the playing of the National Anthem.

To their credit, the girls kept their composure, and stood next to the Yankee players with their hands over their hearts like consummate professionals.

Once the National Anthem was over, the girls got handshakes from the Yankees before they headed off the field. Business as usual resumed, and the Yankees got their warm-up throws in before Joba Chamberlain threw his first pitch.

There is no way that missing out on a shot to win a state championship can be erased by getting the opportunity to stand on the field at Yankee Stadium with the Yankees, but it can certainly ease the pain.

Westhill's catcher, Lynette Martinez grew up watching Jorge Posada, and she was so overwhelmed standing right next to him that she couldn't even recall what the catcher said to her.

The Yankees did a good thing by acknowledging the Westhill High School softball team, and even though they couldn't change the outcome of what occurred in their game, they were able to give the girls a night they won't forget.

Sometimes it's important to not only recognize when people win, but when they manage to come through a difficult situation with poise and maturity.

Even big league players like the Yankees recognize that in sports things aren't always fair, and because they recognize that, those girls will not have to look back on their season with such disappointment.

Francisco Cervelli Has Earned His Spot on the Yankees' Roster

2009-06-27T09:21:00.001-07:00

Last year at this time, Francisco Cervelli was working his way back from a severe wrist injury. The young catcher, who has been a highly touted minor league prospect for the last couple of years, turned a lot of heads in spring training in 2008.

He ended up missing most of the season while his broken wrist recovered, and with Jose Molina acting as the steady back up for Jorge Posada, there was no reason for Cervelli to think he wouldn't be with Double-A for the rest of the season.

At the start of 2009, Cervelli was in Double-A. Jorge Posada's surgically repaired shoulder seemed to be responding well, and Jose Molina was taking his turn probably three times a week, leaving no room for Cervelli.

On May 5, Posada was place on the DL with a strained hamstring, and Kevin Cash was called up to back up Molina. However, just two days later, Molina was placed on the DL with a quadriceps injury.

Cervelli got a call that he most definitely wasn't expecting, but had been waiting and hoping for. The Yankees wanted him with the big league club to help while their starting catcher and back up were healing, and Cervelli was more than ready to prove himself.

Cervelli was likable from the start.

He wasted no time getting to know the pitchers on the Yankees' staff so that at a moment's notice they would feel comfortable with each other. While Cervelli has always been known for his stellar defense, his bat had been relatively non-existent in the minors. He came to the majors hitting under .250, but was eager to have hitting instructor Kevin Long fix whatever was effecting his swing.

Cervelli made a seamless transition to the majors. Pitchers like A.J. Burnett, CC Sabathia, and Joba Chamberlain couldn't say enough about Cervelli's work behind the plate and his ability to call a good game.

He was even contributing with his bat, something that the Yankees weren't expecting, but were more than happy to take. For a guy who couldn't hit over .250 in Double-A, Cervelli was hitting well over .300, and even higher with runners in scoring position.

Posada returned from the DL in the end of May, while Molina was farther away from making a return. The Yankees decided to keep Cervelli around as Posada's backup, and the backstop is still performing at a high level.

During the second game of the series in Atlanta on Wednesday night, there was talk on the broadcast that Jose Molina was nearing his return from the DL. It is unlikely that the Yankees would want to carry three catchers for the duration of the season, and since Molina is getting paid two million dollars this year, Cervelli would be the likely casualty.

That night, Cervelli hit his first big league home run. As the rookie rounded the bases, his smile and genuine excitement could be seen easily, and that is exactly the type of energy the Yankees want to stay around their team.

Jose Molina is getting closer and closer to making his return, and the Yankees are going to be faced with a tough decision. Do they send Cervelli down and lose all that he's established in his time in the majors, or do they keep him and possibly try and drop Molina?

Molina is a great defensive catcher, and he did great filling in for Jorge Posada for most of last year, but Cervelli is clearly the future catcher in the Yankees' organization.

The Yankees need to find a way to unload Molina and keep Cervelli around the big league club for the long haul. Cervelli has certainly earned his right to stay, and if the Yankees were smart, they would keep him right where he is, and start shopping Jose Molina before the July 31 trade deadline.

HBO Gives Joe Buck His Own Show: He's No Bob Costas

2009-06-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

Bob Costas has been one of the most notable voices in sports broadcasting for a long time. Costas has transformed himself from being just an every day sports broadcaster into a spectacular interviewer and host of shows such as "Costas Now".

From 2004-2008, Costas hosted "Costas Now" on HBO, which he wrote and produced. It featured segments with some of the top people in sports like Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, Hank Aaron, and many others.

He asked questions that maybe brought out a side of athletes that fans couldn't see on an every day basis, good or bad. He consulted with a group of sports panelists about a variety of topics, and they always seemed like a group of friends sitting around talking about the happenings in sports, rather than people forced to sit together and converse.

Costas had a way of establishing a good rapport with his guests, whether he knew them or just met them backstage. Bob was always that relatable guy who could make even the most up tight of athletes crack a smile while still sounding eloquent.

HBO recently gave Joe Buck his own show called "Joe Buck Live". The show is filmed on the same stage where "Costas Now" was shot, with a similar format. There is a severe flaw in the design, however.

The first episode aired last night. Buck opened the show doing a type of monologue as if he were Jay Leno or Conan O'Brien. There's nothing wrong with introducing the new show, but having Buck look through a telescope into "Bob Costas' house" to see Bob wearing a Hawaiian shirt and reading a book with his dog in a matching Hawaiian shirt is just plain stupid. Any attempt at humor was pretty much a waste, and Buck looked more like a fish out of water than anything else.

Buck's interview segments were the most tolerable part of the show. Considering he covers the NFL and MLB, where he is knowledgeable about the players and what goes on around the leagues.

His first guest was Brett Favre. It was Favre's first big interview since undergoing knee surgery. The question of the hour was if Favre was going to retire for real this time or possibly play for the Minnesota Vikings. Naturally, Favre didn't give a direct answer on whether he's hanging it up or not, and quickly, his segment was over.

The next part featured Buck interviewing the Mets' David Wright. They showed them talking over lunch in a restaurant in New York City, and walking around the streets to get a little bit of a sense of what it's like for Wright on a daily basis. It was a solid interview, because Buck wasn't outside of his element.

When the show returned to the studio, Buck was seated with NFL Hall of Famer Michael Irvin and Chad Ochocinco. Buck kept harping on the point that Ochocinco craves the spotlight, to which he kept saying he has his own spotlight (whatever that means).

Buck is used to being on the air and not having the person he's talking to sitting next to him. If he wants to keep bringing up a particular point and beat it like a dead horse, the person is not usually there to contest him. In a short interview, the audience doesn't want to hear the same question asked, especially if it is likely to produce no answer or information from the first time it was asked.

The final segment was with actor Paul Rudd, Artie Lange (a.k.a. Howard Stern's side kick on his radio show), and comedian Jason Sudeikis. Rudd and Buck are apparently old friends so that explained the actor's appearance on the show. Lange is a comedian known for being somewhat brash, to put it mildly, which didn't sit well with Buck for most of the segment. Lange seemed to take over that portion of the show, and while he was getting laughs from the audience, Buck looked less than happy to take a back seat on his own show.

More than that, there really was no purpose for those three to be on the show. If the show is supposed to be centered on sports, I'm not exactly sure where they fit in, aside from being fans.

Three more shows of "Joe Buck Live" are supposed to air throughout the year, and hopefully, as time goes on, Buck will learn how to roll with what his guests say. If he continues to come off as annoyed as he was last night, he's going to be out of the studio and back in the broadcast booth before he can shake his head.

Some people simply can't make the transition from a sports commentator to the host of an hour-long show, where the guests are going to say unexpected things.

Bob Costas made it look easy for the four years that "Costas Now" was on the air. Even though "Joe Buck Live" is filmed on the same stage as "Costas Now", it is clear that Joe Buck is not even close to the kind of host Bob Costas is, and would be better off in the broadcast booth where at least there are commercial breaks.

An hour of Joe Buck is just painfully too long. HBO would've been better giving Michael Irvin his own show;at least that would've been entertaining.

Why the Yankees Are Thanking the Baseball Gods for Luis Castillo

2009-06-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

The Yankees were seconds away from losing the first game of the Subway Series and their fourth game in a row.

As Alex Rodriguez's threw down his bat in disgust after popping up a pitch from Francisco Rodriguez, the Mets' reliable closer, something unbelievable happened.

The Mets' second baseman, Luis Castillo was attempting to settle under the pop up and as he was about to squeeze his glove on the ball, the ball dropped out of his glove, allowing Derek Jeter and Mark Teixeira to score.

The Yankees won 9-8 due to an error. A ball that should've been caught, that was almost caught, won them the game.

After a lousy performance by Joba Chamberlain who only lasted four innings, the Yankee bullpen came unglued. Brett Tomko gave the Mets the lead in the fifth inning by giving up four runs. Dave Robertson came in to relieve him, and held his own, followed by Phil Coke who also did a solid job.

The Yankees kept chipping away, and eventually the lead was cut to 6-5. The Yankees managed to tie the game at six, but with two outs in the eighth Mariano Rivera couldn't hold it there, and the Mets went up 8-6.

With one out, Derek Jeter singled to keep the Yankees hopes alive in the ninth inning. Johnny Damon came off the bench and struck out against K-Rod. Teixeira was able to work a walk, and with two outs Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate.

With all eyes on the slugger, he got jammed, and popped the ball up to Castillo. Castillo isn't a rookie; he's actually known for his skills with the glove, but for some reason he looked as if he was staggering under it and didn't have a good look at it.

Jeter and Teixeira were both off at the crack of the bat luckily, and both crossed home plate as the ball dropped out of Castillo's glove.

Rodriguez went from being the goat of the game to being the unlikely hero literally in seconds. Everyone was anticipating all of the Saturday Sports talk being about how A-Rod couldn't come through in the clutch again.

However, on Saturday morning, the negative attention was not on Alex Rodriguez, it was on Luis Castillo. While the Yankees might not have expected to walk away with a win last night, they certainly weren't complaining about it.

A win is a win no matter how pretty or ugly it is. The Yankees are thanking the Baseball Gods that Castillo dropped that ball, otherwise they would be three games out in the east, and the Red Sox don't need any more of a lead than they already have.

On behalf of Yankee fans everywhere, we thank you Luis Castillo for dropping that ball. It might be just what the Yankees need to keep things going in the right direction.

Thanks to Yankees' New Vibe, Pies In the Face Are Becoming Popular in the Bronx

2009-05-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

Most walk-off wins are met with jumping around home plate, hugs, a pat on the back, lots of high fives—and shaving cream pies?

The Yankees have taken to rewarding the heroes of their walk-off wins with a shaving cream pie in the face. A.J. Burnett started the tradition, and it's something that's apparently sticking.

What makes this even more unique is that the pie to the face occurs right before the game's hero gets interviewed for a post-game report. Who wouldn't want to give an interview with shaving cream all over their face?

Up until this season, the Yankees would've celebrated a walk-off win with excitement, but that would've been the end of it.

This season, however, the Yankees are making the most out of every victory that they get, a sign that this team is having a lot more fun than in the past.

The shaving cream pies to the face aren't the only thing the Yankees have incorporated as part of their clubhouse fun.

Burnett gave Johnny Damon a wrestling belt as a way of saying thanks for showing his kids some wrestling moves. The belt now gets passed on a daily basis to the guy who has the best game. Everyone wants the belt, so that little added incentive is another positive thing in the clubhouse.

However, the biggest sign that the Yankees are all enjoying the loose clubhouse atmosphere was the holding of "kangaroo court" in the clubhouse last week.

Players, coaches, and staff were gathered in the back room of the clubhouse for over an hour, where fines were issued for a variety of antics that have occurred during the first 39 games of the season.

Mariano Rivera served as the judge, while Derek Jeter, Burnett, and Damon acted as jury members. The fines handed out could be for just about anything.

Phil Coke was fined $30 for giving up a home run to Joe Mauer, Nick Swisher was fined $20 for agreeing to do a post-game interview and forgetting to put on a shirt, and Damon was fined for showing up late to court.

The fine that earned the most laughs throughout the clubhouse was when Mo fined Alex Rodriguez for not showing up until May 8 to start the season.

All of these things have nothing to do with playing baseball, but in their own way, they are important.

A loose, pleasant clubhouse atmosphere is good for the entire team. That's not to say that they don't focus on winning, because the victories are what keep the smiles on everyone's faces.

Many of the players credit the new feel to the clubhouse to the day back in spring training when Joe Girardi canceled practice and took his players on a field trip to a pool hall as a way to break up their schedule and to have some fun.

Another factor is that the players' families are now allowed in the clubhouse. In years past, families have been barred from the clubhouse, most likely because they are viewed as a distraction. This season, Girardi has changed that rule, and his players couldn't be happier.

While the pies, the belt, and kangaroo court may seem insignificant, they have brought the players together. Of course, if there was a lot of losing going on, this merriment would not exist.

Most people view the Yankees as an all business type of organization, but this group of players is showing that they know how to win and have fun all at the same time. The fact that there are new personalities on the team this year, like Burnett and Swisher, add to a new type of vibe surrounding the entire team.

Sometimes all it takes is something so small to keep a team going in the right direction. Over the course of the season, the Yankees will experience their share of wins and losses, but as long as there is the prospect of shaving cream pies and a championship wrestling belt, there is something that is bonding them in a way that hasn't existed in a long time.

Hopefully this band of brothers can translate their good vibes into a lot more success that will last all the way through October.

My First Visit to Yankee Stadium: Much More Than Just Watching A Game

2009-05-23T14:29:00.001-07:00

For the past couple of months, I've listened to other people's accounts of their visits to the new Yankee Stadium. I've looked at pictures, watched on TV, but hadn't experienced it for myself.

When the game I was supposed to go to on April 20 was rained out I wasn't sure when I'd get to the stadium.

Two weeks ago, I found some good tickets and was going to take my cousin to the game as his college graduation gift. One day after I purchased the tickets he informed me that he forgot that he had to attend a dinner at his girlfriend's school.

I was looking at the possibility of not being able to go again, and I had to figure something out fast. My dad happened to be sitting next to me when I got the word that my cousin couldn't go, and he offered to step in.

It's a rare occasion when my dad and I get to go to a game just us. I've been watching games with my dad for as long as I can remember. No one else is requiring his attention, and for a few hours it's all about baseball.

Tuesday night we headed to the Bronx, and were set to check out the Yankees' new house.
Over the past five years, I'd become so familiar with the old stadium that I could find my way through there with my eyes closed. Now I was in unfamiliar territory.

My friend, Joe, had warned me that I would feel somewhat strange when I stepped foot into the new stadium, and he couldn't have been more right.

I was in such awe of the stadium, I almost forgot I was going to a baseball game. As we walked through Gate 4 and into the Great Hall I couldn't believe how much space there was to walk. People weren't trying to squeeze past each other, and there was a clear view of everything in front and in back of you.

The banners of the Yankee greats that hang in there were probably one of my favorite things that I saw. The old time Yankees like Ruth, DiMaggio, and Gehrig appear in black and white, while more current legends like Jackson, Munson, and Mattingly are on the opposite sides in color.

Once we walked through there our first order of business was simple. Get a hot dog. The Nathan's hot dogs more than passed the test for a good ballpark dog, and now we could start our tour of the place.

For over an hour and twenty minutes we covered a lot of ground. We tried and failed to eat in NYY Steak and the Hard Rock Cafe. The lines for the museum and Monument Park were both too long, and we voted in favor of checking everything out rather than wait in line.

We sampled several concessions including pulled pork sandwiches at Brother Jimmy's BBQ (which I highly recommend), as well as the Lobel's steak sandwich. We rounded off our pre-game eating and drinking with a quick stop in the Tommy Bahama Bar, which is a very spacious bar with several TVs, and plenty of room to stand.

At 6:50, we headed to our seats on the second level. We were almost directly behind the Yankee dugout, so we had a great view of the entire field. The field looked exactly the same, which gave off the feeling like a part of the old stadium was still there.

Some things hadn't changed at all. The Bleacher Creatures still did their role call as the first inning was underway, the grounds' crew performed the YMCA while they swept the dirt during the sixth inning, and Kate Smith's voice still filled the stadium with "God Bless America" for the seventh inning stretch.

What I liked the least was that Monument Park is no longer in left center field but in straight away center field. You used to be able to see straight into Monument Park from the stands, but now it is somewhat hidden in center field.

I found myself looking out to the left field stands for the out of town score board, but all I kept seeing were advertisements. The out of town score board now resides in the monitor in right field and gives detailed analysis of each game in digital form.

It was a pretty spectacular night. Sabathia pitched a gem, despite giving up one run in the first inning.

My dad turned to me in the bottom of the sixth inning and said he had hoped that the offense would do a little more in support of Sabathia. I assured him that they just needed to hear "God Bless America", and then they'd score some runs.

Sure enough, the Yankees came alive in the bottom of the seventh. The captain broke the game open with a bases clearing double to make it 6-1.

Johnny Damon scored Jeter with a double of his own, and then Mark Teixeira hit a monster home run to put the Yankees up 9-1. Brian Bruney made his first appearance since coming off the DL, and the Yankees wrapped up their seventh win in a row.

The night couldn't be complete, however, without one more thing...

Before heading for the car, my dad and I got some Carvel ice cream in a Yankee souvenir cap. A Yankee win on my first visit to the ball park, a great tour of the new house, a game with my dad, capped off with some Carvel.

Not a bad night at all.

How Dropping Lots of Money Hasn't Helped the Yankees Win a World Series

2009-05-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

The other night I was talking to one of the guys in my fantasy baseball league, and he posed several topics to me to write about. One of the ones I found the most interesting is the difference in how the Yankees dealt with filling a position hole in the mid-late-'90's to the way they do it now.

That really got me thinking. It seemed like back then if the Yankees had a position spot that needed to be filled they rarely signed a high priced free agent. They made a trade or signed a seasoned veteran, and ended up winning four championships in six years.
Since 2001, they broke away from that formula and haven't won a World Series since. Obviously there are many factors that contribute to a team winning or losing, but there is something to be said for a change in the way of things being done as part of the reason.

After Don Mattingly retired, the Yankees needed to fill the hole at first base. They witnessed first hand the damage that Tino Martinez could inflict on his opponents, and decided that trading for the reliable veteran was the best way to fill Mattingly's spot.

Tino went on to play six seasons in the Bronx, won four World Series rings, and came through in some of the most clutch situations.

When the Yankees let Tino go after 2001, they went after the high priced and overrated Jason Giambi. Giambi couldn't match what Tino did for the Yankees. He played for the Yankees for six seasons and the Yankees never won the World Series while Giambi was there.
He ended up being involved in the steroid scandal, and spent much of his time in New York battling different injuries that prevented him from playing.

Giambi doesn't get re-signed after 2008, and the Yankees first trade for Nick Swisher. Swisher can play the outfield and first base, so the Yankees planned to use him in a variety of spots.
It appeared as if the Yankees were reverting back to their old ways by trading for a guy that wasn't necessarily an All-Star, but could provide the Yankees with a lot of options.

And then, the Yankees went out and managed to land the high priced free agent named Mark Teixeira. I happen to believe that Teixeira is a much better signing than Giambi was because he's a switch hitter and he can actually play first base.

However, there's always more of a focus on the type of contract that a guy like Teixeira gets than on anything else. If he's in a slump it always goes back to the amount that he gets paid, instead of just letting him make the transition.

If Teixeira ends up not helping the Yankees win at least one World Series during his time in pinstripes, the signing will be viewed as a complete bust.

The situation is the same for the position of third base. After the '96 season, Wade Boggs left the Yankees as a free agent, and they had a few guys like Charlie Hayes to fill the spot, but the team knew they needed more than that. Before the '98 season, the Yankees traded for Oakland third baseman Scott Brosius.

Brosius was a veteran who just came off of one of the worst seasons of his career. No one expected that he would contribute much to the team.

Somehow, Scott Brosius was able to shine in New York. He made plays at third that reminded Yankee fans of the days of Graig Nettles, and he came through in the clutch when most people would've counted him as an easy out.

Brosius became a fan favorite with his feats in the '98 World Series (He was the MVP of the series). Not to mention he helped the Yankees rally from behind during the 2001 World Series. He was a solid player who handled playing in New York with such ease that it looked like Brosius had been there his entire career.

Once Brosius was gone after 2001, the Yankees filled third base with a couple of people. One of those people was Aaron Boone and while he didn't have the same kind of success that Brosius did, he will forever be known as the guy that sent the Yankees to the World Series and the Red Sox packing with one swing of his bat.

Boone was going to be the starting third baseman for the 2004 season, but ended up blowing out his knee in the offseason, which allowed the Yankees to trade for Alex Rodriguez.

At the time, it seemed like the best thing that could happen to the Yankees, but five years later, a lot of people are questioning that move. During A-Rod's time in New York, the Yankees haven't made it to the World Series, and only once made it past the ALCS.

His post season production is nothing to speak of, and as a result, Yankee fans are left to wonder if they would've been better off with someone else.

Of course, there is the whole issue of hind sight, and if we all knew what we know now would the choice still be the same? Unfortunately, the trend of signing high priced free agents in the place of solid veterans is not yielding the results that the Yankees are looking for.

It is difficult to ignore this when teams like the Red Sox are putting together a competitive team year after year with a lot of solid veterans and farm hands and having success.

A team like Tampa Bay, with no where near the spending capabilities as the Yankees managed to win the AL east with guys that they had in their farm system and a mix of reliable veterans.
That's what the Yankees used to do. They brought up guys like Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, and Jorge Posada, homegrown players to mix in with a group of veterans that knew how to get things done.

Over the past couple of seasons, the Yankees have made moves to look like they are going back to the old way, with the promotion of Robinson Cano, Chien-Ming Wang, Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera, and Joba Chamberlain to the big league club.

Even this year, the Yankees have promoted guys like Francisco Cervelli, Brett Gardner, and Ramiro Pena to fill in for injured regulars. It is uncertain whether or not these changes will produce the positive results the Yankees are looking for.

Still, it's hard not to wonder if the Yankees had never messed with their way of doing things if there might be a few more championships banners hanging.

Just goes to show you, if it ain't broke don't fix it.

There's A lot More to Zack Greinke Than A Great Arm

2009-05-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

During my fantasy draft, Zack Greinke's name kept standing out to me. I didn't know a lot about him, but I felt like I remembered him having pretty good stats. I ended up drafting him, and to date he's been the best pitcher on my staff as well as the best pitcher in baseball.

A few years ago, when Greinke was drafted by the Royals he was considered to be a pitching prodigy. Early on he showed that he had the make up to be a No. 1 type pitcher.

However, he struggled with something that not only effected his game, but his life as well.

The thing about Zack Greinke is that he isn't the type of guy that dreamed of being a major league pitcher. He never wanted to pitch. He was more fascinated with hitting home runs than he ever was with trying to strike hitters out.

In high school, he took part in a home run derby, and pitched occasionally when his coach needed him to. His coaches pushed him into pitching because he was far too good not to pitch.

Most people who know Greinke will tell you that he is a little on the strange side. He's not the type of guy you will find sitting in the clubhouse talking with his teammates or talking to the media.

He's the one staring into his locker or looking bored when he's getting asked questions. He's likely to wander off on the days that he's pitching and fall asleep somewhere around the stadium.

In 2005, Greinke was having an awful season. Nothing was working for him the way it normally did. During one game, he told his manager that he planned on throwing a 50 mph curveball, and when he went out there, the radar guns confirmed the proclamation Greinke had made earlier.

Now, why would a guy with the capability of throwing in the mid-90s feel like all he could throw was a 50 mph curveball to get hitters out?

The truth was Greinke wasn't happy pitching. As a result, he was getting into arguments with his pitching coach and growing even more distant from his teammates. He didn't like having five days between his starts because he was unoccupied, and talked to his family about wanting to become a position player so he'd have more playing time.

Things got worse for Greinke the following spring. He was so unfocused he couldn't pitch. He couldn't throw strikes during his bullpen sessions let alone at any other time. He informed his pitching coach and his manager that he needed to take some time off from baseball.

The Royals allowed Greinke to take the time off, and it was then that he was diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder, a condition that occurs in high tension social situations.

Luckily with the help of everyone around him and medication, Greinke was able to get himself back in a good frame of mind. He pitched his way back into the Royals' starting rotation, and has been lights out so far in 2009.

Many people think that a social anxiety disorder is one of those made up diseases that people say that they have to mask whatever their problem is. However, as someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, I can vouch that it is in no way made up.

Anxiety can be debilitating. It can make you feel like someone is standing on your chest and you can't breathe. You feel trapped, you can't focus, and that only gets worse when you feel like everyone is zeroing in on you.

Thankfully, it can be dealt with in a variety of ways. Sometimes all a person needs is a little bit of time on medication to feel like they are in control of their lives again, and then they are able to function without it. There are lots of ways to try and eliminate stress or at least keep it at a lower rate and focus on one thing at a time.

I had difficulty feeling calm around small groups of people; Greinke had to pitch in front of thousands of people a night, and that alone can cause anxiety never mind if you already suffer from it.

Zack Greinke will never be the guy that is chatting it up in the clubhouse or laughing with his teammates in the dugout, but he will be able to help his team. He is fortunate that he was able to recognize his problem, and get help.

It is because of that that Greinke has been able to emerge as the dominating pitcher everyone always thought he would be. He still may not love to pitch, but he loves to compete, and that is what fuels his ability.

The Royals love what he's doing as does every fantasy owner who pencils him in every fifth day. It's always good to see someone overcome an obstacle and come out on top.

Keep up the good work, Zack!

A Jersey Boy Takes On the Yankees

2009-04-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

Throughout high school, our baseball team was not known for being successful. Sure, there were a bunch of talented players on the team, but that never translated into much.

Seton Hall Prep was the team we dreaded playing. Might as well start them off with a ten run lead because they scored runs quick and held down their opponents. When they played us, it was almost always a give me game.

The school produced good baseball players, which is why I wasn't surprised two years ago when Seton Hall had two players being heavily scouted by professional teams.

The stand out was Rick Porcello, a right-handed pitcher who at 18 was blowing hitters away with his fastball and killer change-up.

Porcello was drafted number 27 in the first round of the 2007 draft by the Tigers. He spent the 2008 season in the minors, and in 2009 made the rotation out of spring training.

Tomorrow night, Porcello will be squaring off against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. For most 20-year-olds that in itself would be a daunting task, but Rick Porcello is from New Jersey.

It is likely (although I'm not completely sure), that he grew up a Yankee fan, so facing not only his hometown team, but possibly the team he rooted for growing up could cause all kinds of nerves.

The scouting reports on Porcello are very good. In high school, his fastball sometimes would reach 96-97, but for right now he is keeping it between 90-94 m.p.h. What sets Porcello off from a lot of other young pitchers is that he doesn't rely on his fastball to get hitters out.

His best pitch in high school was his curveball, but if for some reason that pitch isn't working for him, his change-up tends to be his out pitch. What makes it such an effective pitch is that it ranges from 76-79 m.p.h. He gets a lot of swings and misses when he goes to that pitch, especially if he throws his fastball to set up the change.

Scouts have also noted that Porcello has great command for his age. He hasn't let all the hype of pitching in the majors affect him or at least affect his pitching.

Right now, he's at the back end of the Tigers' rotation, but he is a projected number one starter. If he keeps pitching the way he has thus far, he is likely to one day become the number one starter.

It will be interesting to see the match-up between Porcello and Chamberlain. Both pitchers throw hard and have several pitches in their arsenal. Chamberlain has more major league experience and has been pitching under the bright New York spot light for nearly two years so he is likely not to be nervous when he takes the hill tomorrow night.

Porcello, on the other hand might be feeling all kinds of butterflies when he faces his hometown team. A lot of eyes from New Jersey, Yankee fans or not, will be tuned in when the Yankees and Tigers play tomorrow night.

Part of me will be rooting for my fellow New Jerseyan, but my allegiance lies with one team only. We'll see how Porcello fairs when the spot light is really turned up on him.