Take Me Home...

It is officially upon me... the week leading up to Wildwood! It's pretty hard to believe, but as usual it has snuck up on me and in less than three days I will be back in my second home. There really are no words to describe my excitement about being down there, but most of all about being with some of the BEST people EVER! 

Needless to say this week is gonna be crazy. I've got a lot going on at work that I need to get done and I've got two days to do it. The weekend was busy and as a result I'm barely packed. I'm in the midst of trying to pack while watching the Yankee game in anticipation of Alex Rodriguez hitting his 600th HR. I did have an awesome work out yesterday morning so that made me feel better. I can definitely see a difference that the extra cardio is making. I'm not quite as winded during my work outs, unless I'm boxing because your lungs are at a whole other level when you box. 

I decided that today would be a cardio day with just some ab work since I had a heavy work out yesterday. However, while I was working out yesterday I felt a strange pull in my left elbow that radiated up my forearm into my wrist. It seems that I have strained 2 of the larger tendons... let me tell you that is NOT a fun thing to strain. Any bending or pulling motion sends an electrifying pain up my arm. I knew there would be no lifting today, which was fine. And then this morning I woke up and I realized I tweaked my left hamstring at some point yesterday which of course didn't surface until today.  Regarding these two injuries, I should've gone home and done a yoga DVD to stretch out my muscles and let my body relax, but instead I went to the gym. I told myself that the elliptical would be a better option than the treadmill with no incline and going at a slower speed. Well, it might've been a better option, but it still wasn't a very good one. I did three sets each of two ab exercises and headed home. So now, I'm trying to pack and hobbling around like an old lady. This is what happens though... I have it in my head that missing out on a work out is a problem. The fact that I'll be away for ten days I have to push myself to the max before I leave otherwise I'll feel like I don't look my best. Yes, I realize that is slightly twisted, but when you are a former fat girl this is unfortunately how your brain works. 

Food hasn't been bad. I've definitely upped the protein and added more veggies into the mix, but I have unfortunately discovered the M&M pretzels which is going to present a BIG problem. I was popping them in my mouth as if they had no calories last week and while I crave them, I'm kind of glad that the bag is empty. Tomorrow night I'm going down to PNC Bank Arts Center to see the Goo Goo Dolls with my cousin so the food will not be as good as I'd like, but Wednesday I'll be back to normal before vacation starts. Even when I go on vacation I don't let everything go to hell. There's actually a gym not far from the hotel that I've been going to the past 2 years so I plan on making an appearance there. I definitely kick back more when I'm on vacation, but I don't completely let myself go either because then I'd really be a lunatic. I would like to cook more when I'm down there but somehow that never really ends up happening and ice cream is mandatory every night so thank God for that gym. I plan on blogging at least once from the shore... I found out last weekend that even my hair stylist reads my blog! I can't even tell you how much that means to me that people actually look forward to reading what I have to say. I certainly hope I don't disappoint! Until next time... 

Marisa

The Glory/Curse of Being Italian...

It's pretty difficult not to discuss food in this blog since well if you're a fat girl or even a former fat girl you have a deep love of food. Let me just say, being Italian makes the battle so much worse. My family centers around food. We love cooking it, eating it, talking about it, and dining out to eat... so needless to say, trying to stay in shape is A LOT harder than if it wasn't such a huge part of our culture. As detrimental as the whole food thing can be to my figure, I love my heritage and I love my family's love of cooking and how it has been passed down. My father's mother comes from a region in Italy...the Emilia Romagna region and it's known for food so yesterday we had left over Bolognese sauce tossed in a pan with a touch of cream. That my friends, is a small slice of heaven. I didn't feel too bad about it because I had a killer work out Saturday. I learned a new ab exercise and it's SO challenging so naturally I love it! Plus, after a two week hiatus I got back into the boxing groove. Man, did that feel good.

Today was a standard busy Monday. However, I had the misfortune of getting slipped a caffeinated iced coffee this morning and by early afternoon my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. For anyone who can't handle caffeine, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The feeling is so uncomfortable and the next thing you know you're sweaty and you can't sit still. And for anyone who thinks that means you have an outburst of energy... WRONGO! You basically feel like your insides are about to jump out of your skin and it takes HOURS to go away. I debated for awhile, but I decided that I wasn't going to skip my cardio session at the gym. My cousin John has been encouraging the increase in cardio, so to show I respect his future medical opinion, I've been doing so. I did feel much better when I left the office so I took that as a good sign and hit the treadmill and elliptical. I really wish the gym had a pool...that would be much more fun cardio than just standing on those machines.

After 20 minutes of that and my new ab exercise, I'd had enough. Food was pretty good today. Whole grain English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast, a small taste of the new pound cake recipe I made for work today, chicken with asparagus, beans, tomato and mozzarella salad for lunch, some fruit for snack, and dinner... well that goes back to the whole curse of being Italian. My dad had some left over spaghetti carbonara which is also a little slice of heaven in a dish, and a stuffed pork chop for dinner tonight. I know how that wipes out a lot of what I did today but while I was eating it, it didn't seem so bad. The double edged sword of being Italian rears its ugly head again.

I've already got my eggs ready to scramble for the morning so I'll be kicking the day off with a nice healthy dose of protein. I plan on doing a combo of cardio and lifting tomorrow. As of tomorrow, Wildwood will be 9 days away so I gotta keep up my pace to be in the best shape possible before I get there. CAN'T WAIT! Until then, I'll keep on trucking. Hoping to have some new pictures by the end of the week! Stay tuned!
Marisa

Stepping It Up...

 

The last week has been pretty busy but I didn't want any of my faithful readers to think I forgot about them (love to my readers down on the island!) I did manage to drag myself to the gym last Thursday after work and did a heavy lifting work out. I learned the hard way the week before that trying to do weighted lunges and kettle bell swings in the same work out is NOT a good idea. When you're a girl you have to sit for the most BASIC of functions so needless to say sitting down was somewhat painful for a few days. I modified my work out so I was able to sit down last week which worked out pretty well.

We're still dealing with the heat wave/humidity here which hasn't been fun. All you really wanna do is sit in air conditioning and not move. I was so happy to get some pool time in this weekend. It was while I was in my bathing suit that I got to thinking how important wearing the right type of clothes for your particular body type is. I don't think guys have to worry about that as much as the ladies do. If you wear low cut jeans and you have a little bit extra in the love handles area those low cut jeans are only going to make it stick out more. Same goes for a bathing suit... wearing a bathing suit bottom that's cut a little lower may not be good because when you sit down your stomach roll tends to show and who wants to see that? See guys, all the things you DON'T have to worry about?! I hate to say it but I am one of those people that really can't wear low cut pants or bathing suits. That's fine, but after I came to terms with that I decided that I needed to adjust my wardrobe accordingly. I think a lot of my body image issues were that I wasn't necessarily wearing all the right type of clothes for my body. I ordered a higher cut bathing suit and I wore it on Sunday and I wasn't freaking out as much about my appearance so I guess that did have something to do with it.

A new week started and Monday I was back in the gym. In an effort to improve my cardio, I dedicated 20 minutes to cardio... 10 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the elevated treadmill. God awful but I did it anyway. I really wish I was one of those people that could slap on my iPod and go out for a run or jump on a treadmill and just run on there for a half hour but alas I am NOT one of those people. I made sure I did an ab work out before heading out for the day. Yesterday when I normally would've skipped the treadmill in favor for just heavy lifting, I made sure I got on there for 10 minutes at the end of my workout. Did some dead lifts, lat pull downs, shoulder presses and of course abs.

Food has been decent... I've really been making an effort to eat more than a yogurt for breakfast and have yogurt or fruit as my morning snack. Lunch can be a bit of a challenge at times. To tell the truth, there are days when I just want a big, fat sandwich and having to settle for grilled chicken and salad just doesn't do the job. But I am happy to say that I have not given in to the cravings and have been sticking with my chicken and salad with the occasional chicken club sandwich. Dinners are good, but it's the after dinner that's the hard part. That's the time when I want to eat cookies or ice cream and I have to convince myself that eating a yogurt is the better way to go. Tonight I cheated a little with a scoop of some homemade strawberry ice cream (Kudos to my aunt for showing me the secret recipe!).

Tomorrow will be another long day... day 4 of computer training for the new system we're trying to implement so we can FINALLY go paperless. If we can get it to work for us it will make my life so much easier, but there is no guarantee on that one. Hopefully I make it through. Even though I'll want to just come home, flop on my bed and take a nap, my intention is to hit the gym for a cardio session after work. Wildwood is TWO weeks away so I'm trying to stay as strict as I possibly can. Check out some of my most recent pics and note the progress... Also, I have to mention a RIP to Bob Sheppard and George Steinbrenner who passed away this week. The baseball world is truly at a loss...

Until we meet again...
Marisa

 About a month ago...     

Yesterday :) 

   

Burn Baby Burn...

Start of another week. I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday weekend. I spent 2 days eating and drinking some awesome food and wine. The heat was BRUTAL and it still hasn't let up. While mostly everyone spent Monday recovering from the weekend, I had to be at work bright and early. Not fun times. This weekend I was reminded just how much I love food and cooking...not that I need to really be reminded. Sometimes I think that I missed my calling in life. Maybe I should've gone to culinary school, but then I'm reminded that I hate fish and the thought of cooking it or worse having to clean it makes me gag. Not to mention the idea of being in a hot kitchen all day does not sit well with someone like me who gets warm very easily. And the restaurant business has some of the worst hours EVER and I'm more of a day time person anyway. I got some major kudos on the food I made for the weekend which made me feel good. I have been blessed enough to inherit a cooking gene AND a baking gene so I'm more well-rounded in the kitchen. However, sometimes I feel like everyone on the "cooking" side of the family only acknowledges my baking and it's forgotten that I can cook. Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot to learn on the cooking end since this family sets the bar so incredibly high, but I don't like being viewed as one dimensional. I really enjoy both. Some people can't stand the exact science aspect of baking while others don't like the demands of cooking. Personally, I enjoy both. I like knowing I made a killer dinner, but I also like knowing that my dessert is complimenting a meal. This is also why being around food all day would not be a good idea.

In an effort to detox from the weekend, I decided against doing my heavy lifting program today and went with some cardio. It was over 100 degrees today and going into the gym already sweating and then getting on an eliptical and treadmill was probably not the best idea, but it had to be done. I also did two sets of four ab exercises before heading home. Thursday I can heavy lift so at least I'll get it in this week. I know that cardio is going to help me reach my goal it's just soooo boring! I contemplated going on the stair master but then I thought to myself... what's the point of all that climbing and getting nowhere after ten minutes of sweating like a beast? Sure, you don't really get anywhere on a treadmill or on the eliptical but you're looking out straight and can kinda picture whatever you want. I always picture the beach in Wildwood...that's about the only thing that keeps me going.

My food was relatively good today. I made eggs for breakfast, made sure to have a yogurt at 10:30 this morning. Lunch was turkey on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato and mayo. I did have a square of chocolate espresso bar that I made and some fruit before the gym. For dinner I made chicken on the bone with some mozzarella and prosciutto, had some eggplant, and a couple forkfuls of pasta. I fought the urge to eat a piece of the caramel/chocolate covered apple that my mom got from Rocky Mountain Candy Store and opted for a yogurt instead.

Sugar is my drug. I LOVE sugar. I can't even imagine being diabetic and having to be without it. I can remember being a kid and eating Pixie Sticks...the rolled up paper filled with sugar. Don't even get me started on Fun Dip. Yes, I know all of that stuff is horrible for you and I can't even recall the last time I ate either of those things but sugar is soo good! Over the past few years I've really cut back my sugar intake which definitely helps in the weight loss department. Still, I refuse to completely give it up because life is too short to deprive yourself of all your guilty pleasures.

Tomorrow is an off day from the gym, but I plan on being back in there on Thursday. By Friday this heat is supposed to let up a little bit which will be a huge relief. Yankees are on the west coast which means I'm up way later than I should be. Hopefully there will be some pictures by the end of the week!
Marisa

Long Way Down...

Somehow, I made it through to the end of the week. This week has been packed full of stuff and it seemed like every night I got home later. Tuesday night I made a quick run into the city with mom to help my cousin clean out more of her stuff from her apartment. There's nothing better than hauling what seemed like countless black garbage bags in the humidity and throwing them into the back of my car. We did get a lot out of her apartment which was helpful...I got in after 9 and then Wednesday had an equally long day. Thursday at least I got in late for a good reason... went with my sister to see "Eclipse". *EDWARD CULLEN* is all I have to say =)

Being that I've been so busy this week, my work outs have suffered. I haven't worked out since Monday, but the plan is to hit the gym tomorrow morning before 4th of July festivities commence. It's supposed to be REALLY hot the next couple of days so I'm hoping to sweat off a pound or two. I've been pretty good with my food this week. I notice that I feel better on the mornings when I make eggs or have toast with peanut butter rather than the days that I just eat a yogurt. I was raised with the concept that if you eat less you lose weight and stay thin and to a point that's true, but I subscribe to the philosophy that eating many small meals throughout the day is a better way to go. However, sometimes I find that I try to convince myself that I can survive on eating less. Those are the days when I just eat a yogurt and skip my morning snack and every time I do that I'm a beast by lunch and I wonder, "WHY didn't I just eat something two hours ago?" Sure, sometimes I get busy and don't have time to eat, but in favor of full disclosure there are times when I just think I can get by on less and that's not really the case.

I got to thinking about emotional eating this week. Some people like to drown their sorrows in a gallon of ice cream while others prefer to steer clear of food when they are feeling upset or stressed. Being a former fat girl you can bet that I am not the type that usually passes on comfort food at emotional moments. It may sound slightly crazy but somehow eating that ice cream or those french fries really do make you feel better. Some people don't necessarily feel guilty when they indulge in their comfort food, but I have to say I do. Okay, maybe not right away, but a little while later I'll say, "Why did I eat that crap? Now I've gotta work even harder to lose what I just ate!" It's a vicious cycle. Does there have to be a consequence for EVERYTHING?

I have such a fear of becoming a fat girl again I think that's probably why I agonize so much. I've seen how I can lose weight and then pack it right back on and then take FOREVER to get rid of it again. I refuse to let that happen. For people who have battled their weight, you understand this is something you have to fight every single day. You can't let up for too long otherwise you find yourself in a really big hole that is really hard to get out of. Life is short it should be enjoyed, but for people like me, you can't get too comfortable otherwise you'll find yourself with the short end of the stick.

There are officially 26 days until I leave for Wildwood and I CAN'T WAIT!! That means that I really have to bare down and make sure over the next 3 weeks I eat as well as I can and get my workouts in so that I'm in beach shape for vacation. It honestly cannot come soon enough.

Special shout out to my cousins Chris & John down in St. Vincent's Island at medical school who take the time to read the "Diary of a Former Fatty Blog". Hope this installment didn't disappoint! Hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend! Next week we kick it into high gear...
Marisa

School's Out For the Summer!!

Well, I'm officially DONE with school for the summer. Last night I handed in my final so now I have two glorious months to not do school work. Now I can spend my nights watching baseball, working on my book and reading--yes, I know that sounds really lame.

The end of the week was rough, but I was very much looking forward to my Saturday morning workout. Okay, so after seeing myself in a bathing suit, I discovered that my thighs are an issue. I can't always do as many leg exercises as I'd like or at the intensity level I want because of reoccurring knee issues, but I'm just gonna try to grit my teeth and bear it. It was a kettle bell swing, squat and curls, push-ups, crunches and BOXING. I really do love hitting stuff. Some of my friends chalk that up to me having a bit of a rage issue (Ha!) Okay, maybe I do have some rage issues :) It just feels really good to be able to get your frustrations out, plus it's really challenging which I LOVE.

I made a trip into NYC to help my cousin move some stuff out of her apartment. It was insanely hot and humid out so we definitely worked up a good sweat. We decided to treat ourselves to some fro-yo (that's frozen yogurt that tastes like ice cream and is only 100 calories). It's all over NYC so I highly recommend trying it if you are an ice cream fan. It definitely hit the spot. When it's that hot all I want to do is eat ice cream, which obviously is not allowed considering I'm on a mission. But I did have to deviate from my mission slightly...I decided to make cookies and cream ice cream to bring over to my dad's for Sunday dinner. I've mentioned before my Oreo addiction so I've been wanting to make this ice cream for weeks. I found a killer recipe and crossed my fingers hoping for the best. Luckily, the ice cream gods smiled down upon me and according to everyone that ate it, I completely nailed it :) I also have a recipe for a chocolate Oreo ice cream that I'm VERY excited to try next! It really is a problem when you LOVE ice cream this much.

I've been slacking on my breakfasts lately...I haven't been taking the time to make myself eggs and have just been eating a yogurt in the morning and I know I need to up my protein. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating it to be quite honest. Lunch I had turkey on whole grain bread with some lettuce, tomato & mayo. I've been trying to increase my hydration so I've upped my water intake. I had some fruit and a piece of cheese before hitting the gym.

I wrestled with doing just cardio and abs or doing a full heavy lifting work out... I went with the full heavy lifting work out. Even though it was hot in the gym, it felt really great to lift today. I did something I haven't done in a long time.. I flipped a bo-su ball over (it's a half stability ball and then rubber on the bottom that lays flat) I turned it over so the rubber side was up and I stood on it and did curls and shoulder presses.  I used to never be able to balance myself and do an exercise so it's rewarding to be able to do it now. I'm not cool enough or coordinated enough to do anything on one foot, but that's next! Dinner was veal chops in a balsamic glaze, string beans, salad, and a little rice pilaf. Ending the night with some Greek yogurt with some mini chocolate chips so I can have my chocolate fix.

Below are some of my recent work out pictures. Definitely planning on working on the arms a little bit more. I have so much respect for chicks with killer arms like Jessica Biel in Blade Trinity. Here's to that happening :)
Marisa

Triceps are on their way!

Reality Bites...

Miami came and went too fast as it always does. We survived the heat, got some relaxation time in, and ate some killer meals. I didn't make it back to the gym, but considering the amount of sweat I produced and the fact that we walked back from dinner two out of the three nights I can't feel too bad. Every time I'm there I really feel so blessed that I have such a beautiful place to go to with so much at my finger tips.

The first day back is always brutal. To kick things off I woke up 45 minutes late this morning. Luckily, I am not one of those girls that takes FOREVER to get ready and was still out of the house by 7:35ish and got to work by 7:50. I choked down a yogurt before I left the house and was so busy all morning that I didn't snack until I remembered I had a Special K bar in my bag. Now, I try to avoid eating them because of the sugar content, but it was that or nothing and by that point my stomach was screaming for some food. For lunch I had some chicken salad over salad and I'm sorry to say a bag of Baked Lays potato chips. Sometimes SALT is just necessary... ladies, you know what I mean. I also had a couple mini oreos, but then I headed to the gym. Lately oreos are my weakness. I have been dying to make a chocolate oreo ice cream. I don't even like cookies and cream but for some reason I can't get the taste of an oreo ice cream out of my mouth.

For dinner I had a cheddar burger (no bun), some string beans, and a few fries. I wanted to eat the whole package of oreos but I decided against that and came up with a semi-compromise. I had some vanilla Greek yogurt with some mini chocolate chips. Not the healthiest choice but not the worst either.

Today I made sure to really push myself. Kettle bell swings, squats with curls, cable pulls, and some core exercises. After seeing myself in a bathing suit I am determined to get my mid section in shape. I took a lot of time to think while I was in Miami and the truth is I may never be one of those girls with a super flat stomach no matter how hard I work. I always imagined I'd have at least a semi-glamourous life. I imagined myself having a really cool career as either an attorney for super star athletes or working for the Yankees, but I'm not doing any of those things. I can recall being told that no one would take an overweight female attorney seriously or that no one would want an overweight woman so visible in a franchise like the Yankees. I guess that kinda stuck with me. Most of my day is spent in what I like to call my cave considering my office is towards the back of the building. I don't hate my job and I know that I'm being groomed for eventually being someone in the business, but I couldn't help but think that it's always been easier for me to hide in the shadows. I've never been the front and center girl and I guess when you're trying to hide your weight you just tend to hide the rest of you as well. I guess the truth is at 25 I'm still not really comfortable with myself. Call me crazy, but that's also the purpose of this blog...figuring out what to fix and trying to fix it.

So in true Fat Girl fashion, here are my most recent bathing suit pics. I already know what I need to fix so I plan on reassessing for next weeks workouts. Saturday I get to box and after a week of missing it I'm sooo excited! Hopefully I'll figure out how to get some shots of my boxing work out. This weekend will be spent on my final for my Healthcare Ethics class and after Sunday I'm off from school until September WOO HOO. Until we meet again...

Marisa

Front view...the abs are coming!

Side view...getting flatter but seriously it's all about my awesome braid in this pic! :)