First off, let me apologize for the delay in posts. Things have been busier than normal the past two weeks. My grandma fractured her hip & ended up having it replaced so after all the hospital drama, getting her into a rehab center, & then getting her out, it’s been lots of long days. Thankfully, she is recovering nicely & will be back to her jovial self in no time!
This Tuesday was supposed to be weigh-in week, but Joe had to cancel and we couldn’t get together another day this week, so I’m stuck waiting until this coming Tuesday. Normally that’s not a big deal, but I would’ve preferred to get weighed BEFORE Easter.
I don’t feel much different from last month, and it’s not because I’m eating whatever I want or anything like that, but I fear that I am inching toward one of the things I HATE the most… a plateau. It’s as if when my body nears a certain weight, it just says, “Sorry, you’re not going any lower than that!” How incredibly unfair is that?
My other concern is that I’ve been hungry more often than I was a month or so ago. I’ll eat breakfast, maybe have a banana or something like that before lunch & I’m fine. Then I eat lunch & it seems that for the rest of the day I just feel hungry & it’s really getting on my nerves. I eat protein at lunch so it’s not like I’m eating a bunch of carbs, which burn up quickly & then I’m hungry. I was talking with my friend Ryan about it & we concluded that my work outs, which have me putting on more muscle, are probably to blame for my added hunger. Yes, I realize that’s perfectly normal, but as a former fat girl the added hunger & possible weight gain don’t sit well with me.
Before you go & think that I’m a psycho for thinking this way, you have to understand that when you’ve battled your weight your entire life, being hungry more often & the number on the scale going up are two things you NEVER want. I know that any added weight would likely be due to the muscle, but I have a very hard time with the number going up. I’m well aware that this is my issue that I’ve gotta find a way to work through it, but I’m sure a lot of people can relate. That's why the title of this week's blog is the great Queen song that Glee is re-popularizing (Fat Bottom Girls). The song sort of glorifies "bigger girls" if you will, but really what girl wants to be known as a fat bottom girl? Not this chick...
I’m sure a lot of people can also relate to having a family (especially my fellow Italians) that is obsessed with food… cooking it, eating it & talking about it most of the time. We’re always talking about things we want to make, the place where we ate something really good, or we were watching a show & they were making blah blah & it looked so good. How is anyone, especially someone with a naturally slow metabolism supposed to stay thin in that kind of atmosphere? I mean, I could start another whole blog on food alone! Food is great… I love my heritage, I love my family’s traditions, & I love cooking, but I’d be flat out lying if I said that sometimes loving food like this can be problematic.
On a positive note, all of my clothes are too big so I guess that's a sign that I'm doing something right. However, that leaves me loathing everything in my closet & taking forever to get ready because I can't find anything that I'm not swimming in. The other thing about losing weight & your clothes not fitting is that those clothes represent the "old you"... the stuff you had to wear to cover up what you didn't want everyone to focus on. Sure, there's a whole new world of clothes out there for the "new you", but it takes a while to build up a closet so for now I'm just hating my clothes.
I've made it to the gym twice this week & am definitely going to try to get there tomorrow morning. I'm cooking Easter dinner so tomorrow is prep day. The BEST part of this week has been the return of Chris & John from the island! I LOVE having them home! I'm definitely looking forward to them being around for the next couple of weeks! I will be sure to report back with the results of weigh in! I hope that everyone has a great Easter!
Marisa
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