Here I Go Again...

Let me start off this blog by welcoming home one of my best friends from his five long months at Navy boot camp & electrician training!! So proud of you Danny & even better to have you home even if it is for a short stay!

Also, a big congratulations to my friend and co-worker Lauren and her husband John and their new addition...the adorable Braeden! I look forward to the pictures of the little guy every day. It really is amazing how a baby can just brighten your day.

Okay, so now down to business. I've been getting tons of suggestions from all the way down in the caribbean to right here at home about what I can do to lose the weight I need to lose. I appreciate all the advice and tips. Let me be clear. I am not looking for a quick fix. This is a LIFESTYLE. Yes, I seem to have lost my way a bit over the past several months, but I haven't veered off track completely and I can get back to where I need to be. I am aware that eating less is a way to lose weight, but I am not a believer in just eating a piece of fruit for breakfast and a yogurt for lunch. When your body goes into starvation mode and yes, for most people who eat that way that's what happens, your metabolism shuts down and stops burning fat. I don't need my metabolism to be slowed down any more than it already is.

I may work in an office, but I certainly don't sit down ALL day. I'm up and down the stairs several times, reaching and bending for charts so being stationary isn't something that happens for long periods of time. Even when I'm home, I'm up and down the stairs, bustling around the kitchen, cleaning (which you can burn close to 100 calories just by doing moderate housework) so I don't come home and constantly lay around even though I'd like to.

I joined a new gym in town... Retro Fitness and I have to say, it's nice to be in a gym where there are actually people! It's always a little strange going into a new place where you have no idea where anything is or what the general vibe of that place is. Saturday I went in to do a work out which was good. I signed up for the complimentary fitness evaluation that is part of the welcome package they offer. The GM of the trainers was really cool and I like the over view he gave me of what they try to do there. To my complete joy he showed me statistical evidence that shows that doing excessive or primarily cardio for a work out is NOT the way to keep weight off. Weight training and nutrition are the best ways to get rid of unwanted weight with some cardio that requires you to hit your target heart rate. THAT made me feel so much better considering I loathe cardio and love lifting. I'm a little bit out of the loop, but I think this was a really good change for me and in no time I'll be back in the full swing of things. I'll be keeping track of my work outs over the next month so I'm definitely gonna try to post them as a way of keeping track of my progress.

It's time to take back control over my life and my body and considering this former fat girl doesn't want to go back to trying to cover herself up and hiding, change is gonna come. This is my fitness icon...yes, it's Jessica Biel (don't laugh) but the girl is toned and slim. She has an athletic yet feminine look to her which is exactly what I want. Her body is killer in "Blade Trinity" so that will be my inspiration.

Got a busy weekend ahead, but I'm looking forward to it. October baseball is on the horizon! Yankees clinched a playoff spot...they're just waiting to see if they win the division or the wild card. I'm crossing my fingers for the division. Maybe by then, the pitching staff will have sorted themselves out and if Girardi knows anything he will NOT start AJ Burnett in the division. Him and Vazquez are such a mess I think they must pick up on each other's bad habits.

Look for work out reports next week. I'm officially exhausted so I'm packing it in for the night. Until next time.

Marisa

No Time Left For Losing...

Another weekend has come to a close and another week has started. I've been getting suggestions from people to keep track of my weight and measurements as well as keep a food diary. I've done the food diary thing many times in my day and I don't really mind it. I do hate the idea of recording my weight. Look, I know that it's only a number, that weight is just my relationship with gravity, but to be honest, gravity and I have had mostly a hate relationship. I'm also a believer that the number doesn't necessarily mean anything because for those of us that want to be muscular (and not in the body builder kind of way), we're going to weigh more because of the muscle. That being said, I am not under the delusion that I can weigh 180 pounds because I want to be muscular. But I know that I will never weigh 130 pounds and even 135 might be pushing it because I'm a tall, muscular girl. As long as I can give off the appearance of 135 or 130 I'll be happy.

Sunday I headed down to south Jersey for my great aunt's birthday. I was getting ready to leave and as I was drying my hair I caught sight of myself in the mirror and I almost dropped the hair dryer. I felt like my skin was just hanging off the sides of my shirt over the top of my pants and I literally had a melt down. I almost started to cry because I couldn't understand why this is happening. I did a really dumb thing and got on the scale yesterday morning and I think the number still had me rattled and that made me even more upset. I went back in my room and changed my shirt to something that covered me up slightly better and all I could think was, "I can't get back to a place where I'm covering myself up." It's a very scary thing and for those of you who know what I'm talking about, you understand the fear.

I am fortunate for the most part to have a good support system around me. My best friend Michelle reminded me how far I've come and that I will always see myself with imperfect eyes. That's probably true. For me, my weight is always going to be an obstacle. Even once I get to where I wanna be I'm always going to have to fight to keep it, and I guess that's okay.

Today was good with food. I made myself eggs for breakfast, had some salad and chicken for lunch, had an apple and a piece of cheese before hitting the gym... I managed 10 minutes on the stair master at level 3 and all I could think about while I climbed was how much I HATE that machine. Then I had the brilliant idea to go on the new elliptical, which by the way is a lot harder than the old one. Within 2 minutes, my legs felt like jello but I kept on trucking thanks to "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna :) I finished with 3 sets of abs before going home to cook. Made some pasta with sausage, peas and some melted mozzarella as a change of pace. Not eating at night is hard, but I'm staying away from food after dinner unless it's an apple.

Last night was the premiere of Dancing With the Stars and every season I watch it I always think about how much I want to learn to ballroom dance. I LOVE the Latin dances. I don't know how I'd feel about someone throwing me around a dance floor but it always looks like so much fun! Not to mention great exercise! One of these days maybe I'll find someone to dance with and go take lessons. If the Situation can do it, I should be able to do it too!

Tomorrow is gonna be brutal...full day at work then class from 6-8 which means not getting home until around 830. AWFUL. Thankfully, my Yankees are now 2 1/2 games up on Tampa Bay. They still have 2 games left against them before Boston. I would just be happy if we could clinch already. By the way, I gotta take a second to shout out "Boardwalk Empire", HBO's new series which is occupying my "True Blood" void. Really, really good show and I'm saying that after one episode. Can't wait til Sunday night. Okay, way past my bed time! Until we meet again...

Marisa

To Be Who You Is, You Gotta Be Who You Are...

Let me start off by saying there is a lot of awesome new music out right now, which is making life a little more tolerable. The Goo Goo Dolls new CD "Something for the Rest of Us" is a really good listen. With the exception of two tracks I love it. It's nowhere near "Dizzy Up the Girl", but it's slowly creeping into second place. Sara Bareilles, one of my favorite female piano players/singer/songwriters new CD Kaleidoscope Heart is also a good listen. I've only listened through about four times and while I like her first CD "Little Voice" better, there are still some really awesome tracks on it. Michael Buble's new single "Hollywood" is one of those songs that you find yourself tapping your foot to without even realize it. I'm definitely looking forward to new music from Maroon 5 and Rascal Flatts in the near future. Music really makes the day a lot better.

School and work have been crazy and I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get stuff done. I really like my managing community healthy systems class... I actually feel like I can apply some of work experience to the class. My financial management class is a nightmare. My brain just doesn't compute numbers very well and to try and do that at 6 o'clock at night after I've been at work all day is not a good situation. Luckily, my friend Joe teaches finance so he's been really helpful. I can write papers or read book after book, but numbers and I aren't friends. Hopefully Joe will be able to translate for me, otherwise I'm in trouble.

So the stair master is my new best friend. I hate it but I'm trying to love it. On Tuesday I managed to do 10 minutes on there which if you've ever been on a stair master you know feels like a lot longer. I decided to do a full body work out after that which was good...tiring but I felt good. Today I managed another 10 minutes but at level 3. I get through it by reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels on my Kindle while I climb and I tell myself it will all pay off in the end. I followed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill and some abs. I also hit one of the standing heavy bags in the aerobics room for a few minutes but it didn't feel as good as when I hit the focus mitts. I need to find a new boxing partner because I am missing it like crazy. I never thought I would love boxing as much as I do but it's such a rush to hit something stationary that can't hit you back. I've been told I may have some rage issues but I just chalk it up to good old fashioned aggression.

I've been working really hard to control my sugar intake. It's soooo hard! You'd be surprised how much sugar is in things you'd never think. I've been eating oatmeal with just a bit of brown sugar and LOTS of chicken. I wish I could get into cottage cheese, but I just don't like it. I LOVE the Greek yogurt I eat, but I'm trying not to eat it as often given the fact that it has at least 13 grams of sugar. Apparently lemon juice helps burn calories and just a few drops in water can help get the job done so I've been doing that too.

I wish I could just flip a switch and not love food so much, but it's just not possible. I wish that I didn't love to cook so much, but it is what it is and I've just gotta deal. There are just so many things I wanna make right now. It's coming into apple season so I wanna make apple pie and apple crisp. I also wanna learn how to make potato soup and chicken murphy. So I'll make the various sacrifices that I have to so I can enjoy just a little bit of those culinary delights!

A guy came into work yesterday and he was cute and I couldn't help but notice he was in good shape, but he had a very small waist and all I could think about what how I'd have to never eat again to have a waist that small. Sometimes I feel like guys only like girls with perfect bodies, but I'd like to hope that's not true. Still, I'm determined to work hard and look better than I do. It's good to have goals!

Well, I'm definitely ready for the weekend. I'm hoping the Yankees can take the series in Baltimore and regain their spot in first place. Everyone needs to step it up. I can't believe the season is winding down. I do love October baseball, but I hate to see it end. I'm gonna try to get some pictures up soon. I know it's been awhile... Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! Until next time...

Marisa

Come Back Summer...

It has unfortunately slipped into that time of year when school starts again and the weather starts to get cooler. YUCK. I don't hate the fall, that would be the wrong thing to say, but the fall leads into the winter and that is something I'm not a fan of. I like football season and I LOVE October baseball, but the thought of the summer being behind me is never a good thought. Not to mention, Chris and John headed back to the caribbean and don't come back until December :( I'm sure the time will go by quickly, but right now it feels like an eternity. It was so great having them home. Last week we headed to the city twice--once for lunch at Circo which was really nice and then we went in Thursday night and visited Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, which was also really good. The weekend was full of BBQs which went perfectly with the nice weather. Nothing better than sitting outside on a deck with good food, good company and comfortable temperatures.

It's definitely been challenging watching my diet the past week due to all the going out to dinner and BBQs and my mom's birthday. I made sure to go to the gym on Saturday morning and got a full work out in. I took my mom to breakfast afterward and I refrained from eating French toast and settled for an omelette and some oatmeal. Saturday night, I didn't eat any bread at dinner and just had a bite of cake for good luck. Sunday was my biggest challenge. I was at a BBQ and I'd done well all day...but then during the "after hours" part, out came the potato chips and cheetos...not just any cheetos but crunchy cheetos. For anyone who is a fan of cheetos you know just how easily you can go from "I'm just gonna have a few" to the entire bowl is gone. I am proud to say that after much debate I decided not to put my hands anywhere near those bowls. I know how awful they are for me and God knows how many chemicals are in those things but let's be honest, they taste really good. Some people may not understand the harm in having "a few" but if you're a weight battler you know exactly why a "few" can become a very BIG problem.

Monday night as I was winding down from the weekend, watched the "Real Housewives of NJ" reunion part 2 (gotta love the TV drama!) and then caught Bravo's new series "Thintervention" with celebrity trainer Jackie Warner. I tend to be slightly obsessed with Bravo reality shows and back a few years ago Jackie Warner had her own show called "Work Out" which showed how she and her staff trained their clients blah blah. To be honest, Jackie is a bit of a drill sergeant, but she deals with a lot of obese people and I suppose she knows that being tough is the only way to get things done. Her methods do seem to work, but only when the clients actually listen to what she tells them to do.

On this show, she has a bunch of clients that are setting out to lose at least 30lbs and some people more. Her first assignment to them is to get rid of all the sugar in their house. Anything with more than 4 grams of sugar has to get tossed. One of the guys is a sugar addict so he really struggles with it and I have to say I can completely identify with that. I LOVE sugar. Sugar is in just about everything and it is really hard to cut out completely. I have to say though, it definitely got me thinking... if I can cut out at least half of the sugar I'm currently consuming that just may help my cause. I will try to follow Jackie's rule and keep it to 4 grams and under. That is a big step for me, but I'm willing to do it.

I had a really good work out today. I did 18 minutes on the treadmill and then I decided to hit the stair master, a machine I haven't gone near in years. 5 minutes on that thing is like 20 minutes on a treadmill! I challenged myself and would skip steps or let it go down farther before stepping up again. Definitely worked up a sweat. After that, I decided to do a full body work out. I was tired after, and my knees were definitely feeling the effects of the cardio, but overall I felt good. No pain, no gain, right? I'll deal with the knee pain for the time being.

I haven't boxed in over a month and I've gotta be honest, I miss it terribly. My boxing buddy has been otherwise engaged with other things so I've had nothing to hit. I think it's about time I get myself a heavy bag. I like hitting the pads better because you have more motion not only with the punches but with your entire body, but hitting something is better than nothing. I'm definitely gonna have to look into that.

Tomorrow I've got a long day ahead of me...work all day and then class for 2 hours. Fun times. I probably won't get to the gym until Friday, but that's my goal. Until then I'll be watching my sugar and increasing the cardio. A necessary evil. Until next time...

Marisa