Friday, July 2, 2010

Long Way Down...

Somehow, I made it through to the end of the week. This week has been packed full of stuff and it seemed like every night I got home later. Tuesday night I made a quick run into the city with mom to help my cousin clean out more of her stuff from her apartment. There's nothing better than hauling what seemed like countless black garbage bags in the humidity and throwing them into the back of my car. We did get a lot out of her apartment which was helpful...I got in after 9 and then Wednesday had an equally long day. Thursday at least I got in late for a good reason... went with my sister to see "Eclipse". *EDWARD CULLEN* is all I have to say =)

Being that I've been so busy this week, my work outs have suffered. I haven't worked out since Monday, but the plan is to hit the gym tomorrow morning before 4th of July festivities commence. It's supposed to be REALLY hot the next couple of days so I'm hoping to sweat off a pound or two. I've been pretty good with my food this week. I notice that I feel better on the mornings when I make eggs or have toast with peanut butter rather than the days that I just eat a yogurt. I was raised with the concept that if you eat less you lose weight and stay thin and to a point that's true, but I subscribe to the philosophy that eating many small meals throughout the day is a better way to go. However, sometimes I find that I try to convince myself that I can survive on eating less. Those are the days when I just eat a yogurt and skip my morning snack and every time I do that I'm a beast by lunch and I wonder, "WHY didn't I just eat something two hours ago?" Sure, sometimes I get busy and don't have time to eat, but in favor of full disclosure there are times when I just think I can get by on less and that's not really the case.

I got to thinking about emotional eating this week. Some people like to drown their sorrows in a gallon of ice cream while others prefer to steer clear of food when they are feeling upset or stressed. Being a former fat girl you can bet that I am not the type that usually passes on comfort food at emotional moments. It may sound slightly crazy but somehow eating that ice cream or those french fries really do make you feel better. Some people don't necessarily feel guilty when they indulge in their comfort food, but I have to say I do. Okay, maybe not right away, but a little while later I'll say, "Why did I eat that crap? Now I've gotta work even harder to lose what I just ate!" It's a vicious cycle. Does there have to be a consequence for EVERYTHING?

I have such a fear of becoming a fat girl again I think that's probably why I agonize so much. I've seen how I can lose weight and then pack it right back on and then take FOREVER to get rid of it again. I refuse to let that happen. For people who have battled their weight, you understand this is something you have to fight every single day. You can't let up for too long otherwise you find yourself in a really big hole that is really hard to get out of. Life is short it should be enjoyed, but for people like me, you can't get too comfortable otherwise you'll find yourself with the short end of the stick.

There are officially 26 days until I leave for Wildwood and I CAN'T WAIT!! That means that I really have to bare down and make sure over the next 3 weeks I eat as well as I can and get my workouts in so that I'm in beach shape for vacation. It honestly cannot come soon enough.

Special shout out to my cousins Chris & John down in St. Vincent's Island at medical school who take the time to read the "Diary of a Former Fatty Blog". Hope this installment didn't disappoint! Hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend! Next week we kick it into high gear...


  1. LOL at the shout out. Go Weeeeeed, gooooo weeeee eeee ddd, GO GO GO!!!

  2. John, I don't recall saying anything about snacks in this entry! HAHA. But I appreciate your medical opinion. :)