While I was at the gym Tuesday, I got to thinking about how self-conscious I really am. It kind of goes with the territory... when you're over weight so all you do is cover yourself up. You feel like you always have to hide your imperfections. This example may seem dumb to any of the guys reading this blog, but the ladies will know exactly what I'm talking about... When I work out I always wear a "long" sports bra/work out shirt whatever you want to call it. I'm just not comfortable bearing my whole stomach when I'm working out. Well, by some stroke of bad luck, I forgot to pack my long shirt and was left with only a sports bra...AKA I had to work out with my stomach bared. At first, I was mortified. How was I going to go into the gym like that? It sounds crazy but when you're insecure about something you just feel like everyone is going to be staring at what you don't want them to see. After much debating, I decided it wasn't a big deal and I needed to just get over it. It actually gave me a lot of perspective about how far I've come. Yes, I'm not where I want to be but I'm not where I used to be either. Getting to see myself that way made me feel really proud for how far I've come.
Okay, reflection aside...now to the important stuff. Tuesday was my heavy lifting day. I like to work out in small circuits....basically I group together a bunch of different exercises and do them in a row as one set and then I take a break. Kettle bells are my best friends in the gym. I use them for just about everything and I find them to be a lot more challenging than just free weights. I've upped the amount on my weights which is causing the extra soreness but it's worth it. I really want to start working on my back...my inspiration is Hilary Swank from her role in "Million Dollar Baby". Okay, maybe not quite as sculpted as Hilary's but something along those lines. I can see more definition in my arms and abs so I guess it really is paying off.
Made chicken for dinner along with some left over pasta (my big carb treat) and some vegetables. Ended the night with a greek yogurt topped with strawberries. Wednesday was my long day so I tried to keep my eating on target since I knew I wouldn't have time to work out. Eggs for breakfast along with a yogurt for that extra bang of protein, chicken salad over tossed salad for lunch, fruit for snack, and surprise surprise chicken for dinner. I did cheat a little with a sliver of pound cake...My aunt's pound cake is kind of unavoidable. Ended the night with some fresh fruit.
Today I managed some cardio which I had to force myself into. I got out of work late and I just wanted to go right home, but I dragged myself to the gym anyway. I wish I liked cardio, but I just can't get excited about it...it just seems like you get no where... you run on a treadmill and after ten minutes you're still in the same place. Food was good today...whole grain English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast with a yogurt, chicken and salad for lunch, fruit for snack and a burger (no bun) with some cheese along with veggies for dinner. I think I'll finish things off with a yogurt or maybe some melon. Tomorrow is Friday (YAY!) and my big work out which I'm looking forward to. Anytime I get to box aka hit stuff I'm a happy girl.
Since I promised pictures no matter how embarrassing check out the picture from about 5 years ago to now. Until next time...
Marisa
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